Am I Doing It Wrong?

daisyskirt194 · 2017-08-04T00:04:07+00:00

OP first of all, why are you so desperate to be with a man who has kids?

You're 25. You might even be closer in age to his kids than to him. He has a COMPLETELY different perspective of what's happening here.

The main reason you're so attached is bc he keeps pulling away so it's allowing your hamster to run wild with fanatical and romanticized feelings of devotion.

Stop fxxking with men who have kids. Just like men won't wife a girl who is 'soiled' from riding the CC, don't waste your time with men who have kids since you won't be able to experience the joy of having a family for the first time TOGETHER.

MetalDevils · 2017-08-03T23:09:46+00:00

You had sex with him without commitment. You were his fun, young, sex toy...until you became a headache. So he distanced himself from your drama, and is still trying to get the closest thing he can from you sexually.

He wasn't willing to commit to you, and he's still not willing to commit to you.

You need to lose his number and move on.

You also need to be careful about being submissive and asking a man that is not your BF or spouse to 'own you.'

HB3234 · 2017-08-04T20:19:36+00:00

A man that age will say whatever to get to have sec with a fun, young, sexy, submissive thing. Men that age and up have paid good money to be sugar daddies and he's getting the goods for free, not providing either money or resources or even emotional labor!

He's using and manipulating you. He wants whatever he can get from you for free - nudes, attention, the satisfaction of having someone pine for him - but he doesn't want anything that costs time or effort (the drama he associates with sex)

ivegotsomequestions0 · 2017-08-04T07:32:11+00:00

Op, this smells like he's married. Is he?

You know that this isn't going anywhere. He's Not going to learn anything new about you at this point that would change his mind. Go no contact and block him, you don't owe him anything. Move on and go on lots of first dates until you feel that chemistry for someone else, preferably someone younger who will be more inclined to take you seriously and isn't discovering the joys of being a middle aged player.

Or You can keep focusing your attention on being his "bitch" while the years slip away. Maybe the sexual and emotional high is worth not getting to have a real relationship. Maybe not. What choice will you wish you had made when you're 50 years old?

ElfFey · 2017-08-04T07:55:34+00:00

OPTION 2!

I am going to say this to you like a big sister would. As in a little harsh but for Your own good.

Your self-esteem is very low and you need to grow up.

Just because the sex feels good, doesn't mean it's a good relationship. You need to feel good from things besides this guy. The other side of his narcissism is your codependent (or possibly borderline) behavior. These traits are ALWAYS found together in a relationship -- its like two sides of a coin.

Tbh, I was in your shoes once. What helped me was reading books (I like to analyze everything too) that helped me understand what was going on. I recommend Fearless Living, How To Love Or Leave A Dismissive Partner and He's Scared, She's Scared. They will help explain WHY you want to have a relationship with this person and how to let go.

In my case I stopped putting up with bull shit and am much happier. You can do it, too.

CleburnCO · 2017-08-03T23:17:53+00:00

Side chick...not a real relationship. Sorry if that hurts, but it's true. You can't go from being the side chick to being his woman. It just doesn't work that way. Accept reality, cut ties, move on. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

giveittodaddy · 2017-08-04T17:49:53+00:00

Thanks for the responses

To be honest I am getting SO CONFUSED

I used to play it super cool with men, thinking thats what they wanted.

Then I changed to recently because somewhere in my gut I knew it was femininity and love and vulnerability that would get me the relationship I wanted

That's why I've been so soft, really loving to him, showing him everything that I can offer him, and its not worked. I thought femininity was supposed to make men even more attracted to you if they're attracted in the first place? (WHICH HE DEFINITELY WAS)

Rivkariver · 2017-08-05T20:25:07+00:00

Lose his number and cut him off! You can do it! Begging him and treating life like an audition to make him like you will only backfire. Would you be turned on by a guy white knighting you like that? If you have the feminine qualities you say, you can get a good guy who asks you for your commitment before you ask him.

Have you read Why Men Love Bitches?

PopularPoplar · 2017-08-14T22:38:02+00:00

Dude, delete his number and never ever ever speak to him again. You're wasting your time.

IlsaLaszlo · 2017-08-13T15:11:31+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself,and don't fall into the trap of thinking that you're doomed to be a plate and that he'll discard cuz you had sex.Almost all long-term relationships started with a guy "plating" a girl.If you find the one wanting to wait half a year,good for you,but let us try to work it out with a more plausible scenario(being a plate).

1.Men are extremely vulnerable to true sexual submission,to playful erotic feminine,and once they find it,you need to f*ck up really badly to make them give it away.Most dominant men I've encountered,once they realise the sex part is magic,will look for all other signs to stay,so just avoid pushing him away.

2.OWN YOURSELF.I understand that he is your dream daddy,but try to see him as an extension of your happiness,not a means to it.

3.Respect yourself in regards to him.Most RP women will say it's impossible now,and I'm much softer on the matter,because past is illusion.You only have NOW,now and forever.

What does it mean in practice:

-don't wait for him to fix your boredom

-don't use sex against him,let him join you,not own you(which is nothing but making him take on YOUR responsibilities,trust me,he has enough of his own)

-don't fixate on things he should do for you,fix on things you can do for him(HOWEVER,do them out of love,not out of expectation he'll return the favour)

-laugh more,enjoy life more,believe more,exude self-sufficiency more

BEWARE,self-sufficient isn't a go-getter corporate that cries herself to sleep cuz she's alone,self-sufficient is the woman,any woman,that can find peace and love sitting alone by the river :).

Title	Am I Doing It Wrong?
Author	giveittodaddy
Upvotes	6
Comments	38
Date	August 3, 2017 9:36 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6rfpui/am_i_doing_it_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-doing-it-wrong.73242 https://theredarchive.com/post/73242

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