My so and I have been together for 5 years. Jan 2014 I was diagnosed with a major illness that prevented me from doing many things. Things seemed ok but as I recover more he seems to be less trusting of me.
When you are creating a thread, be sure to consider and address the following questions:
What is the problem? (Neutral phrasing: use words like "we," and "our" so that you aren't trying to off-load problems at your SO's feet when there's actually plenty of blame to go around)
I became unexpectedly very ill. He stood by me to the point of paying for everything. I'm still recovering and there is conflict about whether or not I'm doing enough to get better or pulling the max weight possible.
What are your faults? How have you contributed to the creation of these issues?
I know I was a huge burden financially and I wasn't able to keep up my usual good habits like cooking or cleaning. I gained a lot of weight. I am very emotional about critism because I do feel I mostly do my best.
I've not been much fun.
I whined alot
Why do you think this (these) problem(s) manifested?
Physical disease forced a lack of energy and motivation.
I think he might think that it was a bait and switch scenario.
What steps have you already taken to try and resolve the problem?
Mostly medical interventions. I am on the job hunt to pay him back the costs.
I'm working out but it's so slow.
How long has this been an issue?
Around 2 years
Are you making a mountain out of a mole-hill? If a woman you really despised came to you with this issue, would you still think it's a legitimate concern? Or would you tell her she's throwing things out of proportion?
No, I am not sure if he even likes me anymore. But I don't want to leave him since I feel I at least should pay him back something.
How's your bedroom life right now? Are you taking care of his needs emotionally and physically?
No. It's so hard for me to enjoy sex when I'm always so tired.
Thing is that my prognosis points to the likelihood of a full recovery - just need time and fitness.
What should I do? He bristles if I talk about leaving etc. But my attempts also are often criticized and I get all defensive.
[–]StingrayVC7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disappear_vanish25 points26 points27 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cxj5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ayvyns-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Violetly 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor19 points20 points21 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nyghtshadae[S] 2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]bicepsblastingstud7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]vintagegirlgame7 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Violetly 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disappear_vanish10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]swift-heart2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]icyhonesty1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nyghtshadae[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Bea_Noemi0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AerobusTRP MOD7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]littlebit_2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stillnoturday1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AerobusTRP MOD1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]bicepsblastingstud8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]AerobusTRP MOD1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]admiralclammyquim0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AerobusTRP MOD-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Meterus-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2PantsLady-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link