Coping with Hitting "The Wall"

Droi · 2015-01-14T06:52:49+00:00

Aging? You're mid-twenties..

Sounds like you are missing the male attention after settling down with a guy. If you don't like your "aging" (weight gain and haircut), go ahead and do something about it. It seems you are looking for a kick in the ass from your SO and you're not getting it.

FlowerAndWillowWorld · 2015-01-14T07:22:47+00:00

It's not that you're aging very much(you're still in your prime), it's that you've gotten lazy. So eat healthier and get to the gym. Go to /r/skincareaddiction and figure out a good routine for yourself if you're somehow already seeing wrinkles.

If you want to age gracefully you can't be lazy. The way you'll look in 10 or 20 years is a direct result of how well you take care of yourself now. Remember that beauty products are not a cure all, and that a good diet and plenty of exercise will do a lot more for you than anything from a jar or your plastic surgeon.

gabilromariz · 2015-01-14T07:51:51+00:00

You don't "gracefully accept your aging" in your mid-twenties, that sort of phrase is reserved for older women who refuse to believe they're not 20 anymore. What you need is a proverbial kick in the pants to get you back in the gorgeous shape you had:

Don't like that you've gained weight? lose it
Don't like your fine lines? Wear more sunscreen, see a derm, get a new cream (botox this young may backfire)
Don't like your new haircut? Talk to your stylist and do it over

Basically, if you don't like what you see in the mirror don't "cope", do something about it!

TheTerrorSquad · 2015-01-14T09:33:34+00:00

" I don't like that I've gained weight "

That's your problem right there. Fix that

You don't go from a 9 to a 6 in a year esp in your 20s Lose weight, grow your hair and be happy you've met someone. Obsessing about your looks to this degree is far uglier than a few forehead wrinkles

2015-01-14T21:55:11+00:00

First things first, this reads very much "me me me" with you kind of tacking your SO on there, like you're just obsessed with looking good and are sad you're not getting tons of male attention anymore. How does your SO feel about your looks?

Now, for advice:

How much weight have you gained? Losing weight will probably help you at least a little bit. Look into a sustainable diet plan. Check what your BMR and TDEE are (I recommend using this) and focus on keeping in between them (recommended -500 cal from TDEE if possible for one pound a week of weight loss).

Regarding your wrinkles, can you afford to see a dermatologist to see what you can do about your wrinkles (without Botox)? If not, someone else has pointed you to /r/skincareaddiction, which will help you with finding a good skin routine.

Haircut problem can be fixed by asking your stylist if there's a better style that can be done with whatever length it's at now (ask your SO what he thinks would look good) or just let it grow. My SO met me when I had some ugly dyke-y pixie cut, and he adores how much better I look now that my hair has grown out.

JackGoldsteinWrites · 2015-01-15T17:54:50+00:00

DO. NOT. GET. FAT.

Giralunna · 2015-01-20T11:12:47+00:00

Wrinkles in your mid twenties? wow, those are some bad genes. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, hydrate with coconut oil and stay away from the sun. I think one RPW way to age gracefuly is to choose a lifepartner that you look up to, no one you settle down with.

TempestTcup · 2015-01-16T14:52:09+00:00

I don't like that I've gained weight. I don't like that I'm starting to get forehead wrinkles. I especially don't like the crappy "Wal-mart mom jeans" haircut my new stylist gave me.

Easy, lose the weight and quit going to stylists. Grow your hair out.

katiewampus · 2015-01-16T22:02:52+00:00

Two things:

1 - Refuse to accept it. You're not hitting a wall, you're just ramping up to a better you. Use these negative feelings to motivate positive changes. You have all the opportunity to improve plus the benefits of what you've learned through these years. Knowledge is gold.

2 - Make yourself better. Today you go for a jog and when you get home, you treat yourself to a healthy snack. It feels good to treat yourself good. Trust it now. You'll know it's true soon enough.

2015-01-16T14:52:22+00:00

So you go into the salon, close your eyes and say "do whatever you want, I don't care"?

Getting fat and having a bad haircut aren't age related, you got a BF and are letting yourself go and the ONLY reason you care is that OTHER men aren't looking at you as much. You are a walking pile of red flags.

Boo Hoo. If youre responding this way to your mid-late 20s you're going to commit suicide at 38. Stop it

No one can tell you how to "cope" with bad tjings you shoul dbe changing. Go on a diet, grow your hair out and stop looking to attention from othe rmen for validation now, you have a BOYFRIEND

Ties5o · 2015-01-21T08:22:04+00:00

I'm a guy hope I can chime in. But honestly, if you eat cleanly; as in, greatly reduce processed foods, sugar, basic carbs (white bread, pasta, etc), and primarily eat a diet of lean meats and vegetables, fruits and nuts, etc; you will add at least a decade to your youthful looking. Throw in an active lifestyle with some moderate exercise, you can look 30 at 40.

I live in a large coastal city, where people walk a lot and tend to be very diet conscious. And I meet 40 year-olds who look 28 here. When I travel to landlocked states, its typical for 25 year-olds to look and act 45.

TalkToHusband · 2015-01-14T07:26:37+00:00

Assuming you aren't a troll.

Okay I think you are having a quarter life crisis. I think TRP exaggerates the wall, yes women decline in looks over time but it takes a while, unless you are already hitting menopause I think majority of this is in your head.

Aine_of_knockaine · 2015-01-14T09:10:39+00:00

A year ago I was gorgeous, plenty of male attraction, easily an 8 or 9 out of ten. Then I settled down with a guy and shortly after, my looks started sinking. I'd say I'm a firm 7 now, maybe even a 6 on the bad days. I'm in my mid-twenties.

I'm 25 and there are some days that I feel so old and unattractive. These are days where that morning kiss from my SO helps or putting on something really nice and hearing you look nice today helps. There are tons of things that you can do to pump up your mood and your self-esteem on those off days.

I don't like that I've gained weight.

Easy fix. Go to the gym. Do yoga. Practice or look into Tai Chi. Consider pole dancing or va-va-va voom burlesque classes. Not only will these help get you fit, but you can use what you've learned elsewhere. Your partner may really appreciate it.

I don't like that I'm starting to get forehead wrinkles. Wear more sunscreen. Drink lots of water. Exfoliate. Give yourself a facial with products around the house.*Chocolate is great for acne prone skin, lettuce and tomato help form a natural acid peel, and vinegar can help tighten pores.

I especially don't like the crappy "Wal-mart mom jeans" haircut my new stylist gave me. Never leave a salon with something you don't like. Always express that something is wrong with a cut or color if there is. Hairstylists would rather you tell them in the salon that you hate it so they can fix it instead of not coming back.

If you can afford it say hey, honey. I feel like I'm getting older and unattractive. Can we go shopping and buy me a X,Y, or Z? If you want you can even say I've gained weight and I want to get something that will look really nice, but that is slightly too small to help motivate me to lose weight. Not only will you work to lose weight to fit into that new garment, but you'll be excited to do it. Sometimes a push can be helpful.

SirNemesis · 2015-01-15T00:22:18+00:00

The wall shouldn't start approaching until your some time in your 30s. Just lose the weight and let your hair grow back for a better haircut.

Title	Coping with Hitting "The Wall"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	26
Date	January 14, 2015 6:22 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2sdja1/coping_with_hitting_the_wall/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/coping-with-hitting-the-wall.166022 https://theredarchive.com/post/166022

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