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First date tips! Going for a coffee with a guy, need last minute tips.

[deleted]

October 3, 2014
10 upvotes
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Post Information
Title First date tips! Going for a coffee with a guy, need last minute tips.
Author

[deleted]
Upvotes 10
Comments 37
Date October 3, 2014 3:40 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2i72h5/first_date_tips_going_for_a_coffee_with_a_guy/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/first-date-tips-going-for-a-coffee-with-a-guy-need.165801
https://theredarchive.com/post/165801

Comments

[–]dreampizza 16 points17 points18 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

  • be lighthearted and fun! a first date is not the time for super serious conversation

  • if he offers to pay, graciously accept. just smile and say thank you. if you reject his offer to provide for you, you're rejecting him as a man

  • be present. enjoy the moment. dating is supposed to be fun! don't stress out about what the future holds.

  • if you're having a good time, tell him.

  • stay calm. it's easy to get nervous and chatter incessantly. try to relax and let him do the talking. don't let your anxiety fill the space around you.

GOOD LUCK! :D

[–]ashglass 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well the date went well but I recently found out he just got out of a LTR and isn't looking for a relationship, plus he has tons of hot girls lining up for him ... Bummer.

[–]deepthrill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

if you're having a good time, tell him.

Us men love that ego boost. It shows that we're doing it correctly.

Either he's gone out on a lot of dates, and he'll love the ego boost and validation.

Or he hasn't gone out on a lot of dates and he'll wonder if he's doing a good job, and you telling him as such will help him relax.

An appreciative girl who compliments me is a huge bump up in my book. (Aside: Most likely simply because most girls these days are so self centered they don't consider appreciating men's efforts that it's a nice breath of fresh air).

[–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 35 points36 points37 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Be early. Be honest. Don't put out. Dress cute and fix your hair/makeup to show effort. Pay for your own coffee. Don't interview or interrogate the guy - just talk. I'm serious about that last one. Don't ask what he does for a living, don't ask about previous dating experience, don't ask about his family or hobbies. He'll tell you what he's comfortable with on a first date. Let him lead the conversation. If he sucks at it, the date will suck, but it won't be your fault. On the other side of that line, though, don't be a dud. If you're interested in something or have something to say do it. Just don't talk for the sake of filling silence, feign interest, or try to manipulate or impress him.

Oh, and like someone else said in here, do not fucking touch your cell phone. Not once.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It might. But you'd better put the word date in quotation marks.

Guys worth dating don't take a woman who puts out on the first date seriously.

[–]proprioceptor 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, i can't emphasize this enough. It will let him know what you're looking for, and it will help you figure out what he's looking for.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You don't need some asshole on the internet to micromanage your life. Wear makeup if you want to or if you feel like it.

That's like asking, "Should I wear cute clothes when I normally dress dumpy around the house on my own?" or "Should I agree to meet at a coffee shop when I don't like coffee? Aren't I misleading him?" or "My car's in the shop and I have a rental that's nicer than my real car. Should I postpone the date so he doesn't see me drive up in the rental?"

[–]homo_homini_lupus 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't be a neurotic mess

[–]Lilia42 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Remember to be thoughtful. Make sure he has everything he needs (coffee stir? Napkins?). Don't sit there playing with your phone!

[–]jm51 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Was a Success Kid comment on Reddit a while back:

Had First Date...Don't know what phone she has!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You lose a point everytime you touch your phone.

[–]LifterofThings 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Look cute, smile. Listen fully to what he says before thinking of your response (don't be thinking about your answer while he's still talking). Be polite. Don't overthink it too much-- it's just coffee.

Let us know how it goes!

[–]ashglass 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It went well! I was nervous as hell but we had a good time. We got coffee and walked around the campus and chatted and he wants to hang out again! So excited, this was my first date in at least a year!

[–]HappyWifeLife 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You had a first date with a guy twenty days ago too?

[–]ashglass 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't go to it, I realized a tinder date was a bad idea.

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Don't be late. Offer to pay.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

lol really? I offer to pay because i really appreciate spending time with you

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Antagonistic_Comment 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What kind of coffee shop do you go to where you can get your coffee first before you've paid? This type of logistic needs to be solved before the date has even begun, not after gauging if it went well or not.

[–]dreampizza 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree about offering to pay. If the guy doesn't offer, it's appropriate for the girl to pay for her share, but otherwise, she should not offer to pay first. Most men enjoy providing for women, even in small ways, like paying for coffee. Offering to pay outright is emasculating. She is a RPW, not a masculine provider figure.

[–]heeb 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Hi, married man here:

  • Be honest, open, true.

  • Don't get drunk. You can drink, but don't overdo it.

  • Make yourself pretty, but don't overdo it! Too much make-up is worse than no make-up…

  • Strive for balance in the conversation: let him talk (and listen!), and also talk about yourself (is he listening?).

  • Don't criticize. If you happen to disagree about something, just let it be. Think about it later.

  • Don't smoke. If he smokes: run.

  • Try to ascertain whether he is a supplicating beta. A typical nice guy might seem nice now, but he'll not make you happy in the long run.

  • On the other hand: if he's too much of a macho… A marriage needs balance: both alpha and beta traits need to be there.

  • Is he honest? Himself? Watch, observe, learn.

Good luck!

[–]ashglass 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Sadly I'm struggling with smoking, but I won't smoke around him.

Thanks for the tips! It went well, I was pretty nervous and I think I talked too much, but he wants to hang out again so that's a good sigh!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If he smokes he won't mind a bit if you light one up too. This is assimg you don't run away like a nerd..

[–]ashglass 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm fairly certain he doesn't smoke, he's very athletic.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You'd be surprised by how many athletic people there are that smoke.

[–]ashglass 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't want him to think lesser of me because of it, it's a dirty habit.

[–]heeb 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sadly I'm struggling with smoking, but I won't smoke around him.

A very good start. Please forgive me if I come across sounding like an asshole: if he doesn't smoke, and you smoke-then-kiss, you'll taste to him like he's liking out an an ashtray...

Maybe this is a good time to quit? It's a nasty habit, and it's killing you, taking away 11 minutes of your life per cigarette.

Thanks for the tips! It went well, I was pretty nervous and I think I talked too much, but he wants to hang out again so that's a good sigh!

A very good sigh! I'm a guy, and I wouldn't just pretend about wanting to see someone again. 99.999% sure he's honest and you intrigued him! :-)

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't get drunk. You can drink, but don't overdo it.

What? You're telling me getting coffee wasted is a bad idea? :P

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]ALadyLikeMe 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dates are an occasion for a bit of makeup even if you usually don't wear any. Doesn't have to be all out but put a little effort in for him.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You're weird

[–]ALadyLikeMe 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Backstory? How did you meet? What's the context?

[–]CapnSalty 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Smile!

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