Growing old gracefully

gabilromariz · 2014-06-23T12:03:32+00:00

I'm personally a fan of the natural gray look unless you're all white hair by 35 (it just looks odd).

My gradma has had white-as-snow hair since her 60s but it looks good as long as she cares for it. White hair is frail and porous so it's worth investing in deep conditioning and regular salon appointments (like once a month or so)

My mom has a couple of grays (she's in her 40s) but doesn't fuss over them. I frankly can barely tell unless I'm looking for them. If for some reason on hair is particularely noticeable (in an updo or after a blowdry) you can just touch it with your mascara wand

But she does talk about dying and has thought about it. She'll wait until it's noticeable but she considered having highlights done on the bits with gray, could that work for you?

RedPillWife_June2014 · 2014-06-23T13:28:29+00:00

This is a really great topic, and one I've been thinking a lot on since I'm 37 and want to take care of what I have!

There is a great book out there, "Younger Next Year for Women: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy—Until You're 80 and Beyond" -very much worth a read. It's aimed for the 40-something crowd, but if we can start these actioin items now while we're in our 30's... well we're that much ahead of the game.

Re: Botox -I've got mixed feelings. I agree that it's easy to look unnatural with it. I have found 'Frownies' on Amazon - it is basically brown stiff paper with glue on the back that you wear overnight, over your wrinkles. Seriously has done great things for my "11's." Mine are pretty much gone now. Lesson to take away: women have been fighting this stuff for decades before botox came along; there are other solutions out there.

Re: Hair dying - I noticed my first grey hairs at 26. 10 years later I've got a mix. Not bad, but not great. I have dark, straight hair. One thing hubby and I agree on is that it is worth the money to get my hair colored correctly at a quality salon. In my early 30's I would basically just get highlights - I prefer a natural look and the highlights keep the grey from being so stark against my naturally dark brown hair. Now I am up to a full head, 3-color process. The extra two dyes are only $10 extra... well worth it to keep things looking more natural IMO. Every other color trip I will get just the top done, not a full head, to save a little $$; doesn't really affect quality.

Personally, I decided a long time ago I was going to fight aging tooth and nail. What is commonly associated with aging is rotting. (See aforementioned book). My mom gave up when she was 30 (long story), and she now looks 20 years older than her real age. I refuse to become my mother in that sense (yes I love her, she is a domestic goddess in many ways). Aging gracefully IMO is more taking care of yourself, and doing the now-extra work to maintain rather than trying to look like you're 20 when it's not there.

2014-06-23T11:57:51+00:00

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little_red_ · 2014-06-23T12:59:36+00:00

keeping a good diet and steady workout routine paired with a little hair maintenance is a lot less of a dilemma than being in a relationship with someone who's attraction to you is failing. Hair will become to look like straw when you don't maintain it well enough. A little bit of maintenance will go a long way. There is 0 reason you can't buy a box of hair dye and dump it on your scalp once every week or so and call it a day if you cant afford a hairdresser.

TempestTcup · 2014-06-23T13:07:08+00:00

I'm in my early 50s, and I'm not going to sweat getting older. I do try to eat well and I exercise to keep in shape, and I've noticed that staying slender really helps my face look better.

As far as wrinkles go, remember that laugh lines are much more attractive than frown wrinkles, so keep smiling and try to live a fun, joyous life! I don't use anything on my face except water, coconut oil and a little makeup. I've noticed that my skin is so much softer and smoother since I quit using cleansers; I slather on coconut oil, wash it off with a wet wash cloth to clean my face and then reapply.

I don't have a lot of gray hair, but I do have some. The way I try to hide it is to put subtle highlights in my hair. It doesn't lighten my hair much but it blends the gray in with the highlights. Salon highlights look pretty harsh to me and I'm super cheap! Just be warned - doing your own highlights is a dangerous process; you don't want a big blob of color anywhere!

Frankenoodle · 2014-06-23T14:44:56+00:00

Oh my mom went gray so early (21) that when I started getting grays at 26 (yes!) she was like, 'oh well you're lucky!'.

The women in my family have always been blessed in regards to skin and bodies. My mom is 67 and her skin is sill gorgeous, she's also maintained her figure well through 3 children. But the grays? They are the bane of our genetics. And mine have come in with full force. I also have very dark natural hair.

So first, I realized that where the gray was coming in (left side of my part) and so on the advice of my hair stylist I begun to part my hair differently. A heavy bang covered up 99% of the gray, so that even in between dying it was fine. I first did this while I was pregnant since I wasn't comfortable with dying my hair then.

The dye I use is fairly gentle, and actually makes my hair nice and shiny for a week or two afterwards. I do go to the salon though.

Most hair dyes these days are fairly gentle as long as you're not trying to lift the color. So just take care of your hair strategically. Part it so that the majority of gray doesn't show (if you don't know how, go to a hairdresser and they probably have some good tips) and then just use gentle dark dyes without ammonia.

MrsKittenHeel · 2014-06-23T15:13:14+00:00

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Bbyybbbaby · 2014-06-24T01:59:07+00:00

I dye my hair because I am already greying. I usually ask for some sort of semi gloss colour and add a treatment in. My hair is naturally coarse, frizzy and fine but I have a lot of it so I have to work hard to keep it tamed. I use oils in my hair mainly, I usually make a oil concoction for my hair and body and I usually cover myself head to toe in it and let it sit for 10 mins then rinse it off. My body and hair are usually baby soft after the treatment.

Wrinkles, I'm starting to get laugh lines down from my nose. I really need to do something about that. Other then those I'm sitting pretty.

I really don't like the idea of Botox at the moment however I really want LASIK. I recently started having to wear my glasses all the time now and it makes me feel less feminine and more like a librarian.

The 2 things that scare me the most are sagging boobs and bad teeth. My parents both have horrible teeth. So I am ridiculously fanatical about cleaning my teeth and going to the dentist. Sagging boob wise at 19 I read some story about some woman who was in her 70's who had boobs of a 20 year old by wearing a bra all the time. I try to follow it by wearing those genie bras to bed. The only time I'm not wearing a bra is usually when I am getting busy with hubby or in the shower. Even my bikini has underwire.

Yes.... I am crazy

2014-06-24T04:39:48+00:00

I'd dye. Letting hair be grey can work on some women, but IMO, it's like short hair. Just because some actress can pull it off, doesn't mean you can. My older friend tried it, looked 10 years older, and dropped it, lol.

We both used henna for dye (cheap and doesn't sting), but she switched to normal dyes. If I understand it correctly, regular dye coats hair, while henna penetrates in depth. Maybe that's why her hair kept getting darker each time she used henna. Older hair is supposedly more porous and all. I think when I'm older, I will still use henna, just of a light shade, so the long-term effect is not too dark.

MrsKittenHeel · 2014-06-23T12:19:53+00:00

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eatplaycrush · 2014-06-23T15:38:19+00:00

Frequent activity and a good diet will take care of a lot of these issues as you age, but I know my mother has Botox done time to time and she definitely looks amazing, not bad at all like a lot of poorly done Botox jobs are. You have to have someone who is very well trained just like with anything else if you want it done correctly.

I'm in my 20s. I eat correctly, work out consistently, sunscreen and moisturize daily, don't smoke, hardly drink and when I do it's never in serious excess, don't smoke never have. As for the grey, there's solutions. I agree with others after a point grey hair color can actually look really good if it's well maintained, but highlights are a solid option. It isn't really recommended to use a demi or semi permanent color on grey hair so it's preferred to use permanent to break through the color. They have recently released a product that comes in a few shades for touch ups where your new growth comes in so it blends into your hair color, but it washes out. I would look into something like that as well if you do decide to go a shade or two darker if the grey new growth really bothers you.

2014-06-23T18:46:02+00:00

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LadyLumen · 2014-06-23T19:50:10+00:00

In terms of the hair dying, dying your hair doesn't always make the texture of your hair like straw. That is for the people who bleach their whole head. Highlights are a better approach, because you don't have to have it done as often, and its only on a small part of your hair. You can highlight streaks of your hair along with the gray - maybe dye these parts blonde or some other color slightly lighter than your hair color? It would be a nice way to mask the gray without dying too much of your hair.

I guess in terms of the other anti-aging factors, sounds like you're on the right track: avoid the sun, avoid drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, look into foods that expel toxins like cucumbers and green tea, exercise.

I myself really need to exercise more.

KlaiFrai · Mon Jun 23 21:51:15 2014 UTC

I'm going with what my SO wants. He has told me that as long as there's effort, he doesn't care about my aging. More specifically, that I still dress hot, care for my hair and skin, and maintain my usually cheerful disposition. White hair or dyed, I'll make sure it's well cut and conditioned. He's asked for stark white instead of grey hair, and I agree. Since the majority of my wrinkle-causing facial expressions happen in the bedroom, he says that seeing my wrinkles form will give him a sense of accomplishment :P . So I don't fear aging so much because I'll do it the way he likes.

NittanyLioness84 · 2014-06-24T21:02:31+00:00

I am a big fan of hair extensions. Get a couple clip-ins (most gentle) to give your natural hair some lusciousness.

MegMartinson · 2014-06-23T12:52:45+00:00

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Title	Growing old gracefully
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	51
Date	June 23, 2014 11:51 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/28v5nj/growing_old_gracefully/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/growing-old-gracefully.165525 https://theredarchive.com/post/165525

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