Hello all,

Bf and I have been together for about a year. Everything’s going great, he’s 9 years older, we met thru work (we do social media and work together). He’s been masculine, taking care of me to the best of his ability, etc. Because he’s older, he often talks about how he wants kids, etc. and of course many months ago we started talking about these things, and I left it clear that I’d only move in with a guy if I have a ring on my finger + wedding date.

Super unusual for him as he’s lived with two girlfriends in the past and his country is far from traditional. However he said he wants to marry me many months ago and soon we are going to visit my family in my home country and hes going to tell them our plans/ask for my hand.

I don’t live him but do have to work at his house (without going into detail) and so I inevitably spend a lot of time/nights there. It’s almost like I live there sometimes which I do not like at all but I cannot help. We cook and clean for each other, which is fine but does make me feel like I’m playing wifey. He’s always asking me to stay more nights, which I don’t as I am paying rent in my studio and again, don’t want to play wifey when I’m gf.

My contract for the studio ends this December (this is when he will speak to parents also). And I have to extend it another 6 months. I let him know about it, and frankly I think it’s great to wait another 6 months before moving together (which again I wouldn’t do without a ring). He said despite him always telling me to stay more etc, that 6 months is fine and part of the natural Course of things.

He’s implied that that will be my last contract renewal/aka he will propose then. Of course if he doesn’t I will seriously reconsider everything and most likely leave, because I don’t want to be taken for a ride. However is this a red flag? On one side a lot of people think we are moving too fast, he’s told his family in joking around moments that we’ll have a wedding in 2025, and we’ve only been together a year, after all. And I think now it’s soon and 6 months are fine.

But on the other side I think of all these girls on social media who always insist that if the guy really wants to marry you he’ll do it asap. We’re extremely busy right now with work, but at the same time I wonder if he wouldn’t have just proposed right after talking to my parents and not have me extend the contract? I wanted to extend it of course but I also question things now.

Am i overthinking as I tend to do? I also don’t want to pressure anyone but I don’t want to waste my time either. Though if he follows up with his implications of proposing 1.5 years after we started dating, that’s not wasting my time, and we do talk about marriage often and he’s going to speak to my parents in another country. Idk, this just made me overthink things a bit, he’s really overwhelmed and stressed with work, and we are in a good position right now (again I think the timing is good, I just don’t know if his behavior is a red flag.) thoughts? Thank you!