Keeping conversation meaningful while long distance

goodboy3245 · 2019-12-19T03:41:32+00:00

[deleted]

timeforstretchpants · 2019-12-19T04:57:40+00:00

Send him a link to an interesting news story, blog post, or podcast episodes and tell him you'd love to discuss it next time you chat. Even if he doesn't get around to reading /listening to it, you can give him the main idea and ask his opinion.

Ask for a book recommendation (something he likes, not just something he thinks you'll like) and then as you read it you'll be able to update him and discuss. "omg. I just read the chapter where x does y."

Basically, find things you can continually connect on.

theRoadLessTraveled1 · 2019-12-19T05:25:17+00:00

It's actually hopeful to see that there are some of you who are engaging some form of long distance relationships in which I am open for, but facing with dead silence of texts and rejection from the other end. It has happened to me with few men I have chatted the last few years, we had great chemistry online and even met in persons. Quit honest, it has jaded me to come to feel 'out of sight, out of mind' is real. Good luck, to all the beautiful sisters here.

[deleted] · 2019-12-19T04:04:25+00:00

Try asking him to tell you a story you don’t know from his childhood, share one from your childhood, and see where it takes you. Ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up.

wxtchofthemidwest · 2019-12-19T04:30:50+00:00

We did long distance for a year (now married and living together). FaceTime and calling were our lifesavers. Having the context of our voices and faces (body language) helped IMMENSELY.

Also talking about more than just our days/issues at work helped. We discussed recent things outside of work we did and enjoyed, movies/shows/etc we’d seen (we’re big movie people), activities we’d like to try together when we finally got to see each other on vacations, etc etc. Anything but the day-to-day drag and ~gossip.

It might be worth knowing his love language and framing conversation around that!

Cantsing4shit · 2019-12-19T10:28:39+00:00

My boyfriend and I are lond distance as well. I find it difficult to have actuall deep conversations over facetime or call because its missing that non-verbal aspect and its pretty easy to missunderstand what the person is trying to say. This isnt to say we dont have these conversations. We do, but not as often as we just mess around,make jokes and complain.

We call eachother every day and usually just go on with whatever were supposed to be doing with our time during the call. Sometimes we dont even talk because tbh our lives are pretty boring. I just like the fact that hes, in a way, here with me.

So my point is that it isnt a one size fits all type of situation.

Sorry for spelling.

[deleted] · 2019-12-19T21:41:28+00:00

how do you keep your conversation meaningful, connected, and substantial?

Only converse when you have something meaningful, connected and substantial to say. What you're doing is using conversation as a proxy for connection, because what you really want is to be around him physically. The best way to deal with this is not to latch onto him more through digital means, but actually to disconnect from the Internet more often, do things away from him and find things to talk about through natural exploration of the life around you.

It's quality, not quantity. And you need to trust that just because you're not talking, doesn't mean you're not already connected. If not being able to talk to him 24/7 bothers you, start fantasizing. Your attraction will grow and you'll be more in the mood for cuddles and such when you get to see him again.

Ideally, you would end this long-distance relationship with expedience. LDRs are not good for women, and leaves them idle too long for anything good to come out of it.

Mmaarrss95 · 2019-12-19T06:09:41+00:00

My boyfriend moved out of our state a few months ago. It's been tough, but we're definitely closer because of it.

Every Monday around noon we have lunch on skype. We try to do two skype dates a week, but Monday lunch is guaranteed.

We both love board games, so we play on board game arena and talk on the phone or Skype then too. It's hard to have a deep conversation this way, but it's nice for us to be able to do something we love together. We also use the app Plato to play some lighter games (we always have a scrabble game going).

Every time we're driving more than about twenty minutes, we call the other person. Obviously we cant always pick up. At night while we are both in bed is when we do most of our chatting.

DeepWaterRose · 2019-12-20T05:29:37+00:00

This is an interesting question. In my long distance relationship our conversation are usually meaningful (and our texting is more fun and surface level). We share the same values (traditional, political view, approach to life.) And we opting talk about society, politics and more intellectual topics.

When I say we talk, it is mostly my man, and I listen. The more I listen and pay attention the more he opens up and shares with me. And I love it.

I used to be the big talker with my girlfriends and on dates, but I learned to listen and observe instead. I love it because I learn so much about him and I see many thing to admire about him. At the same time I stay mysterious and intriguing to him because I'm not an open book. He continues find out new things about me.

I also think really listening to someone is a very loving act. It show that you accept them, when you don't try to ad your perspective to the case. Just listen.

So I would recommend you try to give him more space to go deeper into the topic he want to talk about. When he tells you about something say "yes" "oh" "hmm" and ask a few questions which show him you really are interested in his thoughts. Don't jump in. Let there a bit of silence so he has to take the lead with the conversation :)

Good luck!

Tw0_Sc00pz · 2019-12-29T00:45:28+00:00

My husband and I were long distance for a few years while we dated. Even though it doesn’t seem ~meaningful~ we just texted each other throughout the day about mundane things and sent lots of jokes and memes. It kept us close.

amadexodus · 2019-12-19T04:04:20+00:00

So my relationship with my Captain is not technically long distance, but we are restricted by the fact that I live half an hour driving distance away and don't have a car (yet), and he's leasing a car for 3 years with a limited number of total miles.....and has already gone over his budgeted mileage for the first year. So our most meaningful time together is basically every other weekend and holidays.

I think for us, phone calls a few times a week and little texts here and there are the best when we are apart. He's even called me from work to chat a few times. I find the most awkward part with any phone conversation is "getting started," particularly for us since it's a new relationship. I've found that if I treat the conversation just like our in-person conversations, it doesn't feel surface-level. Just talk about whatever you've both been sharing in-person, like interests or a show you both watch. Don't put pressure on yourself to have a deep conversation about something -- let it happen.

And FWIW, there have been times where one of us has called the other at an inopportune time (e.g. one of us is exhausted and about to go to bed), and we have to say goodnight and call later. That happens to everyone; don't get discouraged when it does.

opheliawistow · 2019-12-19T03:37:36+00:00

Try googling 100 questions to ask your partner and send it to him to answer or just ask him during FaceTime

valleycupcake · 2019-12-19T03:40:58+00:00

How RPW are LDRs anyway? Unless he’s deployed or something else temporary I don’t see the point.

Title	Keeping conversation meaningful while long distance
Author	scoutnsammie
Upvotes	45
Comments	22
Date	December 19, 2019 2:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ecmyts/keeping_conversation_meaningful_while_long/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/keeping-conversation-meaningful-while-long.300977 https://theredarchive.com/post/300977

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