Please, don't underestimate the power of communication

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-04-06T11:32:46+00:00

"Don't nag" is misinterpreted almost as much as "STFU." You can't be a smiling 50s housewife at all times. You're bound to have disagreements and while refusing to bring them up might bring short-term peace, it's guaranteed to cause major issues later. Communicating clearly and respectfully when your head is in the right space is the best way to avoid conflict in the long-term.

__CitrusJellyfish · 2023-04-06T11:54:47+00:00

I’m single, but being forward about my intentions, needs, and boundaries when dating has caused a lot of men to flake, but in the end saved me a lot of time and spared me some heartache because it’s so much better to find out sooner vs later if someone is not going to make an effort, isn’t supportive of you, and isn’t going to be respectful of you and your time before you start to develop feelings.

babyegirll · 2023-04-06T13:16:21+00:00

I'm just confused about who here is scoffing at communication. Basically anytime anyone posts, the advice is "have you spoken to him about it?". The advice is always to pick your battles but make sure you can communicate your thoughts and feelings about the important things.

GmanRaz · 2023-04-06T16:27:56+00:00

Guys perspective: Communication is required for a healthy relationship and it is definitely true no communication leads to relationship downfalls. Almost all disappointment is because of unmet expectations. But how can someone know your expectations if they aren't voiced? This is a double edged sword though and self reflection is required. If you find that if you are voicing your needs and expectations etc in a non naggy way and every guy you are with then bounces you have to ask if what you need/want etc. are realistic or too high.

Something I have found commonplace is most men have like ZERO expectations of their women (which is sad) and then when they do have healthy expectations/boundaries etc. it catches the average modern woman off guard because they are used to men not requiring much at all. By the same token I've seen many relationships where the woman's expectations and boundaries are toxic af and unrealistic. Everything is about balance.

buni223 · 2023-04-06T21:07:47+00:00

Ok honestly I’ve seen people on this sub encourage open communication very often but I have also seen a (minority) of people sometimes give bad STFU advice. It happens infrequently to the point I can’t remember the last time I saw it but I have a vague memory of a few posts in mind. So I get where OP is coming from. It can be really confusing at times, too. The only way I learned to kind of wrap my head around the concept of STFU is by relating it to the phrase “pick you battles wisely”. That’s when it clicked for me. I was able to look at arguments or disagreements or whatever more rationally I guess and the things I identified that really, to-my-core bothered me, I would/do bring up.

AmilliBee · 2023-04-06T22:06:06+00:00

I find our men want to help us and, yes, solve our issues. Being honest and vulnerable opens up that opportunity (even if the issue stems from something the man has done). And you're right! Nothing is more feminine than being vulnerable, open, and honest about your emotions and feelings.

Jenneapolis · 2023-04-07T00:56:34+00:00

Of course communicate your needs. But really think about what is a need versus a want. When you start whining about every little want, it becomes nagging. If it’s a true need that is negatively impacting the relationship then it’s important to discuss. But do think carefully about your wording and approach him at the right time and place (not in public, not right after work, etc).

AutoModerator · 2023-04-06T11:03:01+00:00

Title: Please, don't underestimate the power of communication

Full text: People often scoff at communication around here, but I think they're confusing it with negotiation, which is a different thing. Communicating your needs is absolutely healthy. I actually tried to suck it up and not say a thing for a while because I didn't want to be nagging , but it immediately made my mood worse and it showed. Ever since I learned to communicate my needs to my husband, I feel like it made things better and allowed me to be my vulnerable, feminine self. And yes, there is a way to communicate without nagging or being unpleasant.

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TheBunk_TB · 2023-04-07T00:03:56+00:00

Don’t let things fester.

cohost3 · 2023-04-07T04:18:21+00:00

STFU advice is only given when it’s a small issue. Majority of the advice in this is sub all about communication, the point is the delivery and approach is everything.

There is a great part in fascinating womanhood (forget which chapter) where she talks about how Mrs. Lincoln suffered in an ill equipped home without asking for anything more until she died. Then, the second wife came in and used communication to get a home renovation.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-04-07T21:27:35+00:00

People often scoff at communication around here, but I think they're confusing it with negotiation

I don't think this theory is quite right.

And yes, there is a way to communicate without nagging or being unpleasant.

This is more on the money. People here scoff at communicating by nagging and being unpleasant, as they should.

You're right that people shouldn't underestimate the power of communication. But just as it has the power to be a force of positive change, it has equal ability to bring about negative change. Screaming and berating your SO has just as much power to corrupt a relationship as a physical slap.

If you can communicate your needs to your husband without nagging, that's great. That's exactly what RPW encourages. But not everyone has that skill set. And for some, learning to not say things that would make the situation worse is one step towards learning how to speak in a way that'll make things better.

Title	Please, don't underestimate the power of communication
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	41
Comments	15
Date	April 6, 2023 11:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12dgl6p/please_dont_underestimate_the_power_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/please-dont-underestimate-the-power-of.1212928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1212928

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