Why do some people bend over backwards to find excuses for everything women do?

honeyisdel · 2024-01-12T10:19:47+00:00

It’s because no matter how much people in this sub deny it, most women are seen as fragile, weak, and vulnerable. Society operates under the notion that only powerful people can do wrong things. Women aren’t lumped into that category. However, men are. But I can assure you that not every woman will see it this way. Many women who have had female bullies will know what I’m talking about.

pwishall · 2024-01-12T12:51:31+00:00

This is all over the women's subs. A woman cheats or leaves, well of course it's because she was emotionally neglected. A man does it, he's a scumbag. Followed by diatribes against men in general.

And then they say the misogyny is the only problem.

Those people are the scumbags.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-01-12T09:03:05+00:00

Its called the Women Are Wonderful Effect.

Combine that with men wanting to look "pro-woman" due to social desirability bias as well as the hope that benevolent sexism will get them laid.

Combine that with traditional gender roles, which marginalize women's agency (thus making them out to be victims).

Synergize that with radical feminism, which says women are victims and have been throughout all of history.

neinhaltchad · 2024-01-12T10:38:31+00:00

women are wonderful effect
- in-group bias
- victim complex

That is 95% of it.

TheMedsPeds · 2024-01-12T19:19:26+00:00

I’m a left wing woman and I’ll admit that “we” feminists do tend to have a habit of infantilizing women. And then when someone points that out, you get called a “pick me” or internalized misogynist. It’s frustrating because morality is a bit more complicated than that.

I do think bad men tend to be pretty good at manipulation so there is some credence to what they are saying. The percentage of women who actively look for shitty, abusive men is probably extremely small. But still, at a certain point, women do need to take some accountability for who they choose. Especially if they make the same mistakes over and over again.

I used to date men based on if I found them at least decent looking, we got along personality wise and if I felt that wave of “the tingle-y’s” in their presence, and that was it. But after a handful of man children, I no longer do that. I now ask to see if they are steadily employed. Idc how much they make, but they need to have some sort of money coming in and not leech off another adult to survive. Actually I turned down the one and only guy that asked me out since my last relationship ended 4 months ago. He was cute, respectful, eloquent, and very well spoken BUT he didn’t work. Was over 30 years old and just sold his car so he can afford rent. He didn’t want to “eat up precious time he could spend working on writing and music” with even a part time day job. The old me would have still went out with him and just paid for the coffee. But not the new me. I told myself no more man children and I’m sticking with it. If I die alone, I die alone.

I know this one chick who goes back to this abusive ex constantly and when he gets to the harm part of the cycle, she runs back to her baby daddy and on social media she posts about how “he manipulated me again 😭😭😭”

And at a certain point it’s like…”really? You have housing, a vehicle, food. You have a daughter and I get you are your 1st ex husband aren’t romantically compatible anymore. It’s YOU who decides to log into an alt FB profile to check on your ex 2nd husband. He sees you on that second profile as active, so he messages you, you respond. He tells you he’s changed. So you go over there.”

This woman is 30 years old and a mother and I’m supposed to feel bad for her because she willingly goes over to the house of a man who has dragged her by the hair and put a gun in her mouth because he says in a message “I’ve been working on myself.”

Obviously he is a total piece of shit. But the last two or three incidents would have not happened if you would have just kept him blocked. I’m not giving this woman endless sympathy. She should know better. And at a certain point I’m calling BS on the “but he manipulated me!!!” line. But I know there are tons of people that will call me a victim blamer. Like these sort of things are black and white when in reality they aren’t.

Like living your name brand purse sitting on the passenger seat of your car in a bad neighborhood at night. I obviously, I won’t let the guy who bashed your window in and steals or go because they was dumb of you, he still gets the same theft charges. But I will look at you, cock mg head to the side and say: really? You just left your Prada purse out…for what? Because “people shouldn’t steal?” Grow up, act smarter.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-01-12T09:25:54+00:00

It's because women are wonderful

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-01-12T18:11:14+00:00

Because women don't think they can do anything wrong.... And they have convinced a bunch of simps of that same shit

GltyUntlPrvnInncnt · 2024-01-12T10:38:40+00:00

It's the "women are wonderful" effect.

Safinated · 2024-01-12T16:29:38+00:00

Because people do the same for men

wtknight · 2024-01-12T13:23:19+00:00

It’s easier to blame men because of the “patriarchy” and because men are usually more aggressive due to testosterone. In truth, women can initiate conflict too just as much as men, although perhaps often in ways that are more socially acceptable.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-01-12T10:23:18+00:00

I do not necessarily agree with the OP's framing. Nor do I have the puzzle solved for how the women are wonderful effect began. But I might have some pieces of the puzzle. Any help assembling them is appreciated.

First, one could argue that women ARE more moral than men in terms of Christian morality. This was a departure from classic moral codes focusing on excellence, power and achievement, which likely favored men. This is also part of why Nietzsche called Christianity a religion for slaves and women.

But even within Christendom, at some point you see this elevation of female purity, possibly with a revival of Mary worship. This is combined with casting female sexual attraction as being much more based on morality than male attraction. Why this happened I do not know, but we see the lingering impact of this. Many men are truly shocked when they discover that just being moral or kind or good has some but limited impact in terms of raising their sexual attractiveness.

KingLancelot1991 · 2024-01-12T09:18:25+00:00

Women are wonderful effect, as for the underlying reason idk either.

RealMenEatPussy · 2024-01-12T09:15:17+00:00

Most women live their lives without any accountability for their actions so it’s their natural stance

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2024-01-12T09:25:15+00:00

There is power in victimhood, the oppressed is often more powerful than the perceived oppressor. A western women my age or younger born in the 90s arguably has unprecedented freedom and privilege. My theory is that women will complain in any situation, give them the garden of eden and they will find a reason to hate it.. If there were actually zero violent, bad men on earth we would see very little change in their sense of injustice and hatred of men, it's just their modus operandi.

EricAllonde · 2024-01-12T09:26:47+00:00

The primary goal of feminism is to insulate women from the consequences of their actions. As feminism has grown in influence, its message that women are helpless victims without agency has spread throughout society.

Muscletov · 2024-01-12T10:28:33+00:00

Women are wonderful effect

SecondEldenLord · 2024-01-12T13:49:37+00:00

Because accountability is like kryptonite to women.

suniis · 2024-01-12T12:03:44+00:00

Modern feminism = female supremacy.

shmupsy · 2024-01-12T19:16:36+00:00

We submit to the idea that we are all individuals, which is basically a lie to aid in selling us stuff and keep us politically impotent. Wake up. Pure individualism doesn't exist except as a dystopian nightmare.

If we submit to this, we become subordinate to all the people who have even the smallest group identity.

Males missed the starting gun on this one (not their fault)

Society is not going to repair itself without men collectivizing. It's up to us. There's no amount of complaining men can do that will provoke our leaders into action to make things fair to us, because the system is rolling along just fine with men as a scapegoat.

Men need to get off the couch and start creating male only spaces where they can be themselves, and plan how they are going to remake society

Adorable_sor_1143 · 2024-01-12T11:27:03+00:00

This is so petty. Like s Bunch of kids

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-01-12T08:52:18+00:00

It's just a victim complex. If you define yourself as a lifelong victim living in a permanent threat of mistreatment from an opposite sex, you have an easy excuse for every bad decision or action you make.

basedmama21 · 2024-01-12T17:03:38+00:00

Fragile Ego that hinges on them being misandrist even when they’re dead wrong

Mentathiel · 2024-01-12T12:39:18+00:00

This is a Gish gallop. You're trying to present the opposite side as unreasonable for defending against all of your points, when you're making a bunch of small bad points to make us sound defensive.

Smooth_Letter_926 · 2024-01-12T09:03:07+00:00

Because:

A: women are more emotional and gullible. Whatever makes them feel bad must be wrong otherwise they wouldn't feel bad.

B: men want to smash them. We realize A and lie to make women feel good to increase the chance they'll let us smash.

Lesbian marriage = highest rate of divorce = 2 women.

Hetero marriage = second highest rate of divorce = 1 woman, 1 man.

Gay marriage = lowest rate of divorce = 2 men.

Hmm which gender could be the problem?

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-01-12T09:07:29+00:00

Same reason some men bend over backwards to make it seem like men's shit don't stink and even friendless unemployed shut-ins who have been making bad decisions about what to do with themselves from as soon as they got the power to use a computer unsupervised warrant having their sperm turned into more humans with some woman doing all the work of it. It's a very successful arguing strategy, make the opponent work damn hard for anything.

Do you expect women here to en masse forgo this strategy when it is very clear men here aren't forgoing it en masse?

apresonly · 2024-01-12T19:54:18+00:00

I don't see this as a gendered issue because men defend andrew tate, brock turner, etc

one big issue i have is that men who say they are "good men" refuse to admit that lots of bad men exist. they go so hard on plausible deniability that they don't admit that predatory men exist at all. so obviously they can't be good men if they aren't seeing that obviously some % of men (and women) are nefarious. I encounter men like this all the time.

but when female predators are in the news, women are not defending mary kay letournau. they are saying this is a female predator. so i dont see this as a gendered issue.

tendrils87 · 2024-01-12T09:54:11+00:00

At some point you have to acknowledge that most people suck and shit situations are mutual. Neither person is fulfilling their role in a relationship. You're a shit ass dude who can't lead or provide so you get treated as such. You're a woman who is too self-entitled to nurture and care so you get treated as such. Stop fuckin whining.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-01-12T13:07:25+00:00

For the same reason why you wouldn't be very happy if people threw out claims that "all men are child abusers" or the like. There are shitty things women do, sure, but the majority of claims people make about them as a group are either just straight-up false, or are correct numbers, but are being used to argue false conclusions. We don't like being lied about.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-01-12T17:21:11+00:00

Yeah this isn't a thing. It's more like sexually frustrated dorks on the internet insist on viewing everything in black-and-white, all-or-nothing extremes, and whenever someone tries to tell them women are human beings, all they hear is "Women are perfect angels that can do no wrong."

The overwhelming majority of the time, the person "defending" women isn't going out of their way to say how flawless they are, they're responding to a really dumb theory invented by bitter Incels to justify why they can't get laid.

And if you're in an environment full of bitter nerds making excuses for why girls don't want to fuck them--like, say, this subreddit--then yeah, you're going to see a disproportionate number of posts emphasizing the positive qualities most women have; not because the people saying this don't recognize how shitty women can be, but because they're constantly responding to a deluge of comments talking about women like they're an alien hive mind that makes millions selling feet pics.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-01-12T10:10:33+00:00

There’s a long history of never believing woman or taking them seriously, or even if something bad happens to them, it must have been their fault somehow

Guess nothing changes really

upalse · 2024-01-12T11:41:36+00:00

Underlying presumption of ones own lack of agency. Feminist canon elaborates on this at length. It's mans fault for not bossing the woman around correctly. She has no say in this, why should get the blame?

JohnGoodman_69 · 2024-01-12T13:34:53+00:00

Nearly as bad as people who bend over backwards to find a way to blame the man in the relationship no matter what the problem or how much each person in the relationship is doing to address the problem.

Vinylforvampires · 2024-01-12T15:12:50+00:00

It's crazy, women are so combative if you aren't the perfect guy.

If you say one wrong thing or whatever, you are the worst guy ever.

I dared to question if this girl i was seeing was seeing other guys. She didn't answer the question and then expressed how I'm making her cry that I don't trust her

I'm over all of it. It's like women expect you to be a punching bag and if you aren't then you don't really care about them.

NOSEtalgia3 · 2024-01-13T18:04:25+00:00

I’ve become very jaded about this specific subject because I see it over and over again. Generally, women lack accountability and that’s literally the basis to all of this. There’s a bunch of reasons why it could be for example boys are punished more severely at school & home, you can just look at the suspension rates. Men are much much more likely to be convicted. There are so many examples of males having to pay for their mistakes (and rightfully so) but girls/women often get off light. I actually catch myself doing this with my nieces, even though they started a fight I naturally just tend to absolve them and remove them from the situation. To actually discipline them is an after thought.

pwishall · 2024-01-13T20:13:42+00:00

It's a legitimate term - https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misandry

Been around since 1898 according to this. Same definition as what I gave earlier.

Now is it rooted in institutions like misogyny has in the past would be a different discussion (for instance can companies actively seeking out women vs. men be considered misandry or just "benevolent" discrimination - I don't know), as I was just making the point that it exists and is a legitimate term that can describe an individual's or group's sexism toward men.

I certainly am not arguing about how widespread one form is versus another online, as that's impossible to quantify in my opinion.

GonnaRainDown · 2024-01-14T02:51:37+00:00

Because women are the societally favored gender in modern America, and lots of people bend over backwards to defend the societally favored group.

throwawaywtf2436 · 2024-01-15T18:08:51+00:00

Because men have treated women like children for too long. Men in general have coddled women, spoken for them, protected them, controlled them, told them how to act, what to wear, how to dress, who to sleep with, who to marry, have children, keep the home, etc.

Like a rebelious teenager, the newfound freedom comes with many consequences.

Modern feminism will run its course eventually, but there is no fixing the problem because plenty men still continually try to control women. Women are naturally not going to do what they are told. Its just nature. The guiding hand works better, but the opportunity for that was lost long ago. No, now we wait.

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2024-01-17T16:46:31+00:00

If all these comments are fact based, I think you lost this argument at “Psychopathic men have more kids”

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2024-01-17T16:48:01+00:00

Can I ask you, if a woman married a psychopathic abuser as her ‘piss poor decision’ do you expect her to stay married, and possibly end up murdered, kids abused, etc etc as ‘taking responsibility’ for that decision?

spanglesandbambi · 2024-01-12T09:25:27+00:00

Why do men need to vilify women when they:

Thry commit more murders.

They commit more rapes.

They commit more violent crimes like assults.

They are more likely to be the parent that leaves and disengage a deadbeat.

They are more likely to engage with drugs and fall into addiction.

They are more likely to be unemployed.

All of these reasons often contribute to the divorce rate as well. These conversations don't really help as we end up circlejerking to well women do this and men do that.

CoatAffectionate703 · 2024-01-12T12:11:42+00:00

That's the Patriarchy.
Men compete over women therefore prioritize them over men, plus the loser simps who cater to, placate, and fawn over them.
So women get preferential treatment and can do no wrong. Therefore feel emblazoned to push the boundaries of what is acceptable for them to commit and get away with. Repeat ad nauseam.

Geoduch · 2024-01-12T14:18:05+00:00

Women have been constantly blamed and shamed for crap that has been completely out of our control and because people are giving us the benefit of the doubt, this means the female sex is never held accountable? I could also cite a lot of examples where people bend over backwards to make excuses for men. Sometimes you have to step back and realize that you are too obsessed with gender dichotomy.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2024-01-12T10:35:39+00:00

I would have thought anyone on certain dark triad features would be more attractive regardless....

caboosenoob · 2024-01-12T17:06:45+00:00

Some of the examples you presented are wrong, but men do occupy the worst slots in society overwhelmingly. Ask yourself the last time you saw a large gang/cartel run by a woman, or a serial killer who was a woman. Or hell, the last time you saw someone murdered in cold blood by a woman on the news. Or even just assault. Or even white collar crimes like fraud.

You can cherrypick some examples I bet, but obviously women are less likely to engage in socially destructive behavior. For every Einstein and Newton there's a Hitler or Stalin. It goes all the way up and it goes all the way down -- obviously not all or even anywhere close to "most" men are like this, but it definitely colors perceptions. Whenever you're wary of walking alone at night in a sketchy neighborhood, it's not because of women.

It's not hard to see why people have this bias to assume the guy is probably at fault, even if it is wrong.

BrownEyed-Susan · 2024-01-12T20:26:54+00:00

Because the inverse is true as well. Why do some people bend over backward to find excuses for everything men do?

You can find plenty of examples of it.

Most people will more often than not make excuses for the demographic they are apart of it, no matter which demographic it is.

Pola_Lita · 2024-01-12T09:38:57+00:00

You get it, there's always an excuse to everything women do. The people who say these things never extent the same grace to men.

I've never heard any of the responses you've given here. Starting with the first one:

"women initiate most divorces"

"Well, it's because the men are horrible husbands and deserve it".

The response I've most often heard to this is that because women do most of the changing and compromising in a marriage, AND tend to be more likely to be responsible for social/emotional work in the relationship, it's not at all surprising that they initiate the actual divorce proceedings.

The responsibility for who initiates the need for a divorce can be divided equally.

The same applies to the rest of your list.

My feeling is that you aren't initiating a good-faith debate here.

operation-spot · 2024-01-12T16:33:18+00:00

I know everyone is bringing up the women are wonderful effect but I think it’s just because everyone knows a man who has done something bad and it’s completely plausible that another man did the same thing.

How many of you know a woman who didn’t try to make her marriage work? How many people know a man who took his wife for granted? How many people see bad relationships and hope someone has the courage to leave?

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mrchoon · 2024-01-12T13:01:10+00:00

By "everything" you mean "initiate divorces"

I'm on your side, here, but I was hoping for more examples of shit women do

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2024-01-12T14:02:55+00:00

Everyone likes playing the victim. Men here do it all the time. It absolves you of any responsibility for your live or your fuckups.

Bekiala · 2024-01-12T14:08:56+00:00

We look at our own group, male/female, black/white, religious/non-religious, with more sympathy as we relate to them more.

It is super tough for humans to see beyond their own suffering to the suffering of some "other",

GridReXX · 2024-01-12T16:42:06+00:00

Because for enough people clearly the worst things they’ve experienced or witnessed/heard were from guys?

If you want that narrative to shift, you need the worst things people have experienced to be at the hands of women! Seriously! If bad women behaved like bad men and did the things bad men did and if bad men behaved liked bad women and did the things bad women did, you’d see this perception shift. It’s quite simple.

Adorable_sor_1143 · 2024-01-12T11:12:22+00:00

Because it's often a lot of lack of accountability from men. Divorce is great for both genders.

Psychotic men are idolised as the success guy. He is the rich child business men that taught thrive at the model of society

There are male victims who stop pretending that only women pass through this

Now have you ever seen a movie with a psychopath? They literally live their lives deceiving and using others. Wtf. Yes women were manipulated and yes men were manipulated too. Psychopaths don't have empathy. They are using you. Because it's about deceit, lies, coercion that abuse is a crime This one just stops using it like purposely ignoring something much deeper. Where is the abuser excuse? Why you are not blaming him.

But the biggest point is why acting like a fight? Do you want to be the majority group in any crime? When there is crime it's not the victim fall. Bad people come in every gender

tadL · 2024-01-12T12:20:09+00:00

Because they are raised by that woman?

I see it like that. They try to make bonus points to get laid. 20 plus years ago I just joined Greenpeace and pretended I care or learned how to classic dance to meet a lot of girls "unlock" a relation and sex.

No clue how the people think that online nonsense will unlock that. But hey whatever it takes. And most are for sure from single parent mother households.

shabby18 · 2024-01-12T13:41:30+00:00

It's all an eco-chamber buddy! What you said in your post, and what your post says about your perspective.

Statistically speaking, most things in life form a bell curve/normal distribution. May it be morality, ethics, legal stance, or political wing inclination. There are crazy people on both ends but most people in the middle are average mean no harm, are trying to be center, morally, ethically, etc.

-----------------------

Now let's say you have an idea and perspective. If you present to 10 people, and 7 give you positive feedback you will end up with a positive bias towards your idea right? But would you also say who you pitch this idea to matters? so would it be possible in the spirit of perseverance, if you fail with this group, you will end up asking another group? Now you have to be smart enough to understand when to give up. when your hypothesis seems invalid.

Same applies to you, same applies to these women, same applies to any one in general.

Are there bad people out there, yes! Some times the see saw tilts are balance shifts, but it also tries to bring back the balance.

For example, the topics you mentioned, yes, there must be cases/demographics where that's true, and in similar demographics, men like you are aware of this and are trying to come together and not date toxic women. This means that there is shift of balance and things will correct soon. Yes, there will be some uncomfortable days before things become good/normal but that's the price for living!

Bottom like, yes the problem you mentioned exists but not in all women, so its vital that you go towards with a better attitude and extend a hand of support and not belittle them and help them improve.

LeggyProgressivist · 2024-01-12T13:51:42+00:00

Are these excuses or just fully developed answers? These are all complex issues that require more nuance than you’re making it seem. What conclusion would you rather come to? Women bad? Women suck? Whether or not women do make poor decisions, they’re allowed to change course if they think it’ll make their lives better.

Stunning-Ad14 · 2024-01-12T14:23:23+00:00

Any failed marriage is the fault of both the man and of the woman for committing to it in the first place

Soloandthewookiee · 2024-01-12T14:59:00+00:00

Well, it's because the men are horrible husbands and deserve it".

Yeah nobody says that though.

Striking_Ad7544 · 2024-01-12T15:00:05+00:00

Men do it to appease women

Women do it because they are very very very different from men. Treat them with respect but don’t take their logic seriously

raldabos · 2024-01-12T15:43:55+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis

mc0079 · 2024-01-12T15:55:21+00:00

Well you sort of just created a bunch of strawmen arguments, but anyways

Let's take the Divorce thing as an example. Its an incredibly nuanced issue. That comes down to things like demographics, how studies are done, what words mean, who fills out the paperwork etc.

So you get a bunch of Morons who go LOOK WOMEN HATE MEN THEY DIVORCE MORE HYPERGAMY etc, but really it never goes beyond that. Initiate to me is a shit word, because it really goes to "who started the paperwork". It's an administrative stat. If the guy cheats on the women, and the women files for divorce, she might have "initiated it" by filing the paperwork, but who was the "cause of it" ? Who really initiated it? (not to mention in households, the women tend to be the admin for the marriage anyways, which again skews stats)

Check out this Interview, that goes over some studies on divorce. Interesting read into the data especially how even surveys that though the wife filed the paperwork and would count as the person who "initiated" it, Both party's agree with the divorce

https://www.lotuseaters.com/how-the-manosphere-misrepresents-dating-or-interview-with-alexander-8-11-23

When people try to explore issues more then surface level shit, it becomes "oh stop defending women"....Sorry I'm not defending women, I just want to understand the issue.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-01-12T15:56:12+00:00

Female neuroticism and tard decision making has been validated since the 60s, along with most every other destructive movement.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2024-01-12T16:10:53+00:00

*nopillsgirlie*

"Psychopathic men have more kids"- Abusers have masks that they typically don't drop until they have their target isolated/trapped (getting them pregnant would be a way to achieve this). Were the flags there? Sure. But even in this example you've pointed out the man in question is psychopathic. So I'm unsure what you're upset about here. Are mad that people don't blame victims of that psychopathy? If one party is psychopathic and the other isn't the one with psychopathy is in the wrong. What exactly are single mothers who have a child with someone who they found out is psychopathic supposed to be accountable for?

"Dark Triad Men are more Attractive." Dark Triad men possess more self confidence than the average dude due to the narcissism. So they're likely better at picking up naive women. Those women are naive but again...in the example you've cited.... you acknowledged the man in question is a narcissist, psychopath and machiavellian. Those traits would literally make that man CLINICALLY manipulative. So what exactly are women who fall prey to this supposed to be taking accountability for?

This "how come I can't shame DV victims" type rhetoric is exactly why people assume the guy is in the wrong whenever a woman divorces them. These hot takes y'all have just make you sound like Batman villains

Nihi1986 · 2024-01-12T16:11:18+00:00

In case of men, because of censorship, it's almost never a good idea to speak 'against' women, no matter what they do. Some are also stupid enough to believe feminism will get them laid, which indeed can happen but is still very dumb, just be nice and polite, you don't need to defend stupid stuff to be likeable enough...

In case of women, because they have an insane allergy to agency and have been given a million excuses and encouragement to never be responsible. Ironically, that doesn't mean they won't face any consequences because there are always consequences.

Agree that men can be horrible, that's for sure, and yes, some women (a damn lot of them, actually) have horrible taste and are morons, that's one of the main reasons for the kind of society we have, though obviously it's both gender's fault.

MateriallyRetarded · 2024-01-12T18:00:41+00:00

It's because wamen are weak, helpless, and undignified without society holding their hand.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-01-12T18:50:57+00:00

People make these arguments to excuse women of almost anything because they can often get away with it. I'll explain.

I'm not sure if we're in a transitional period or if this is the way it will be indefinitely. We're coming out of a fairly recent history where women didn't have much agency. By now there have been many incredibly successful movements to give women a lot of agency, almost as much as a man. Arguably as much in most contexts, but there is still some work to be done.

Of course there are still some places in the world where women are still stripped of almost all power. I'll be Western world-centric for the purposes of this comment.

Even though women now have the power to do what they want, they still have the ability to say they have no agency when it's convenient. That is, when it would reflect poorly on them if they had acted completely on their own will. People will think about most of the history of humankind and their claim of no agency will be plausible, even though our current times are very, very different from most of our history.

relish5k · 2024-01-12T19:11:24+00:00

It's ressentiment. Women throughout history have found themselves on the bottom of the totem poll to men (of their own social class). They mistake being a victim as being virtuous, as do many of those concerned with social justice.

That the lambs are upset about the great predatory birds is not a strange thing... And if the lambs say among themselves, “These predatory birds are evil, and whoever is least like a predatory bird, especially anyone who is like its opposite, a lamb— shouldn’t that animal be good?” there is nothing to find fault with in this setting up of an ideal, except for the fact that the birds of prey might look down on them with a little mockery and perhaps say to themselves, “We are not at all annoyed with these good lambs. We even love them. Nothing is tastier than a tender lamb.”

untilfurthernotic3 · 2024-01-12T19:27:29+00:00

Don’t forget the fact that any criticism towards woman is instantly regarded as misogyny

cromulent_weasel · 2024-01-12T20:15:21+00:00

I think part of the problem is that if you disagree with someone and are arguing counter to them, you tend to try and rebut all of their points.

'Women are entitled gold diggers'. Sure, some (a vanishingly tiny number) are, but to acknowledge that dilutes your argument.

OP, if everyone is trying to 'balance' the argument in ways you think are extreme and wrong, perhaps your arguments come off as being extreme to them?

"women initiate most divorces"

It's a basic fact that women take on more of the domestic or mental load tasks in a relationship. So getting round to pulling the plug is just one more thing that she's more likely to be responsible for.

"Well actually divorce is a good thing, it shows that women don't tolerate bad relationships"

Divorce is a tragedy. But if the alternative is worse, then it's the best of the bad options.

"It's because they're manipulative, women are victims".

Women are perceived as having less agency than men. This is good for men and bad for women in some situations (where the action is perceived as being good, like a contribution at work where women are routinely ignored and talked over) and it's bad for men and good for women in some bad situations like domestic violence or comitting other crimes.

However, I also have no problem admitting that some women simply make piss poor decisions and then they don't accept responsibility.

Sure, but WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THESE WOMEN? There are shit people everywhere. Try to minimise your contact with them and focus on living your life.

It also doesn't mean that men are better or that male violence is justified

I think that male anger is unfaily demonised in society and in certain rare circumstances violence is justified. It should just never be your first option in basically any circumstance. I think that running away is usually a better option where violence is being considered.

RodVerga · 2024-01-12T21:26:00+00:00

We buy basically into the self delusion of women, that resolves them from any blame. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

In our time as ancestors, cave miranda didn’t had enough upper body strength to swing a club and was dependent on the tribe and hunters who brought food. The better she could hide the blame the safer she was in the tribe.

We also protected women, or women manipulated us into protecting them doesn’t matter. And this is how we basically evolved as a species.

I guess this sticks around somewhere in our DNA and it probably plays a role into something what is called the "women are wonderful" effect.

If it’s true or not doesn’t matter, honestly i don’t care. It Sounded goofy enough to put it into a comment here.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2024-01-12T21:49:00+00:00

In part, because of the "women-are-wonderful" effect.

coping_man · 2024-01-12T22:06:35+00:00

We are desperate to believe that women are wonderful and that if they did anything wrong we just need to give them moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore gibs, give them moooooooooooooooooore of the stuff they want, we need to help them mooooooooooooore and that this will rescue them and we will become heroes. most women are in on the game. and while feminists might bicker among themselves, when there's a man in the room, they all become a cartel of merciless rent-seekers and they suddenly feel like they're all on the same team.

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2024-01-13T00:36:35+00:00

What about all of those Amber Heards, mythical BPD/hysteria monsters ...?

ShelterNo2786 · 2024-01-13T01:35:16+00:00

Society is now built for women. In the future i think women will be the ones taking out men an dating men and paying for men on dates . HAH

edjohn88 · 2024-01-13T02:03:58+00:00

It’s called white-knighting, and no, it does not get you laid 😏

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-01-13T03:13:57+00:00

Well because some of those things are fair points when you don’t exaggerate them. For example, women initiating divorces doesn’t say anything about who was at fault, if either. It doesn’t mean women or men are bad, it just means women are more likely to do the filing. Lesbians divorce more because they are quicker to marry, it doesn’t mean that divorce is good and it also doesn’t mean that gay men have better marriages either. Psychopathic people are good at manipulating others… this is a fact, but not only men can be psychopaths, it’s just more common in men.

Women are human, make mistakes, and can be bad people too. But it’s normal to get defensive when these same “woman bad” arguments are regurgitated over and over.

MetaCognitio · 2024-01-13T03:41:28+00:00

Twitch changed their rules to allow more lewd content because the current rules regarding lewd content “disproportionately affected women”…

That’s because women were the ones breaking them all of the time.

In some ways when it’s time for women to be called out, people just play extremely dumb.

mesalikeredditpost · 2024-01-13T03:59:54+00:00

Why do we rarely see girls holding other girls accountable? Guys call out stupid men all the time. Why does it seem that women only do that to men but not their own sex? Many will say they do, yet we rarely will ever see that online or in person.

backfromddead · 2024-01-13T04:56:21+00:00

This is basically every female centric sub especially r/twoxchromosomes

lilcrashmat · 2024-01-13T08:09:38+00:00

I think it comes from the fact that as a whole these things are true, as a study. But individually we re all different, this leads to people saying the things they do, maybe they did decorate coz of a bad husband who manipulated them and they left because they can't stand toxicity.

SadSorrySackOShip · 2024-01-13T09:35:21+00:00

At the end of the day it's a battle between the genitals and the brain for all of us, my friend. Lol.

But on a serious note, great post and the only thing I can think is women have the bizarre unearthly (actually very earthly, but still mysterious) ability to consciously choose to grow humans with their bodies - that is MAKE ANOTHER BODY FOR A WHOLE NEW SOUL TO BE IN - and it kinda makes you wanna just protect them. And that's even without accounting for that to do so is to gamble her own individual life.

Also they're on average smaller and don't possess nearly as many guns so they, as a unit, don't really have control over things after alls said and done. Everyone kinda knows that so it comes out in how we all talk about shit.

They could unionize and go on a baby strike is about the best they could do in terms of collective leverage lol. But yeah good luck with that. 30yo women are as revving and ready to go with almost 0 rational logic like you may recall feeling as pubescent boy. I didn't actually believe it until I hit 30 I'm horny af nearly 24/7 and literally cry over wanting a baby so bad it's absolutely retarded.

Anyway life in the U.S. sucks and identity politics is just a red herring to keep us from discussing the nuts and bolts of Capitalism. So I think the "men v women" debates are over-represented purposely in mass media. Divorce is high across the board cause of economic instability. "Dark triad" personalities are a result of western hyper-individualism. Easier to get the mens n womens bickering than to just idk give them democratic ownership over their society.

Title	Why do some people bend over backwards to find excuses for everything women do?
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	294
Comments	726
Date	January 12, 2024 8:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/194qi7f/why_do_some_people_bend_over_backwards_to_find/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-some-people-bend-over-backwards-to-find.1242789 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242789

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