3+ years, relationship hanging by a thread.

A_Laf · 2014-09-10T16:21:12+00:00

She will only treat you as poorly as you allow her. If you want to take her back, then do it. You showed her that you have no problem walking so you need to stick to it. If she acts up again, boot to the curb.

It's up to you. You will only revert back to the old ways if you let her walk all over you. If she doesn't like you being alpha, find someone who does.

What makes you happy? Figure it out and do it. Don't be in the relationship for her, be in it for you.

BetaRecovery · 2014-09-10T16:22:07+00:00

Why not take her back ... as a plate.

What I'm trying to say is have some abundance. She's only giving you shit because she doesn't feel too threatened you'll abandon her.

Right now she holds all the cards because she is abandoning you.

Treat her like a plate. Be cold. Be stoic. Run some dread game. You'll be fine.

psyflux · 2014-09-10T17:28:16+00:00

Stick with her now and you can be divorced by 29 and have the alimony all paid off by 33. Sorry, child support payments can and will last well into your mid-40s if you expect the kids to go to college.

This whole process should take just long enough to trade off for another post-wall divorcee with 2-4 kids that you can support into your twilight years.

You're going to die of either a stress-induced heart attack or a self-inflicted gunshot wound while pondering how it is that you've only slept with two women in your entire life after the age of 22 when all you needed to avoid your shitty life was to put your foot down and not gone back to the first one.

Sunsh1neMelting · 2014-09-10T18:03:44+00:00

Never ever ever use the amount of time already invested into a relationship as an argument for staying in it. If you think she is worth keeping around then do it but if you want to move on don't hesitate to do so. If you're thinking, "I want to leave but we've been together for three years", imagine how much more trapped you'll be after ten.

bustersin · 2014-09-10T16:37:21+00:00

She's been pushing you around for 3 years, so getting her to submit to your new alpha frame may be hard. It's possible. She'll be happier if she does. It's your call if it's worth your effort. Hunting for a new girl is always fun, but it's also a distraction from better things you can do with your time.

But, if you think you can do better, go do better.

At the very least there's nothing stopping you from plating her and getting back in the game while she works on her attitude.

[deleted] · 2014-09-10T19:17:10+00:00

Practice on her. Nothing will boost your morale like plating the same girl who has treated you like shit for 3 years. If she can't handle the new you, she ends the relationship- no problem. If she stays and you feel like you don't need her anymore, dump her. If you're both happy with it, well, that's great. There is absolutely NO reason for you to refuse her advances. It can only be good for you.

But maybe unlike me, you do have a soul and you find it morally reprehensible to use another human being for petty power games. In that case, suit yourself.

Zanford · 2014-09-10T21:46:02+00:00

Take her back as a plate.

When she whines, tell her, "Well right after we break up (be ambiguous about who dumped who, doesn't matter which way you actually think it went) I met so-and-so, she's cool at bouncing my thoughts and feelings off of."

You'll get asked what this girl looks like. Make up something that makes her very DIFFERENT than your ex-gf (i.e. blonde if she's not), maybe hotter, but hard to tell.

When your ex-gf says she wants commitment, tell her you're going to need to see whether you can 'count on' her before you are committed and you'll 'see how things go'. Keep her as a plate, fuck her, while looking for other girls. Ideally soon you should have some and not have to make up a girl.

The ex-gf will fling ultimatums, play jealousy cards with other guys, etc. Your only hope here is 100% frame control. Your ex-gf threatened breakups 3 times, so, you have to play hardball, nothing less will work.

You should have the mindset that you do NOT have a future with this girl. You WILL eventually quit fucking her. But in the mean time, feel free to fuck her. Try hard to not have feelings for her anymore. Easiest way is to have other girls to fuck.

Listen to the Rolling Stones' "Under My Thumb." It's the cliff notes for your situation.

jcslzr · 2014-09-10T16:50:15+00:00

you do not need any advice my young padawan, you already know what side to take: yours.

prodigyx · 2014-09-10T18:05:55+00:00

Plate her. You can tell her you will give her one last chance. See if she gets in line. I wouldn't agree to be exclusive though. I would date other girls and see how much you like them. If she gives you any lip, just tell her you spend time with them because they treat you better than she does.

Lt_Muffintoes · 2014-09-10T19:10:41+00:00

Has she done anything totally egregious? Really think about it. If you can't think of a reason not to forgive her, and you think you can hold frame and undo the damage of 3 years of beta, then go for it.

You'll need to develop as a man really, really fast, though.

If you do decide to take her back

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-09-10T19:34:17+00:00

Threesomes.

Sexual experimentation.

fnordsnord · 2014-09-10T20:26:31+00:00

If it were me, I'd plate her. But I've got a LOT more experience than you, and my susceptibility to oneitis is relatively low.

I think that the healthiest thing for you to do at this point in your life is to smile, wish her well, but tell her that it's time for ya'll to both see other people. Then cut off all contact.

Work on yourself. Hit the gym. Lift. Travel. Write. Work on your career. Feed the hungry. But you don't have enough life experience yet.

Meet other girls. Date other girls. And don't even consider being exclusive until you are 25.

DoxasticPoo · 2014-09-10T18:17:42+00:00

Maybe take her back non-exclusively? Tell her you'll see her again but you want to take it slowly. Because she has to prove that she listened and that you also want to see some other girls, just in case she's not the one.

Don't treat it as taking a step backwards in the relationship, treat it as the only way you two will go forward.

namasgo · 2014-09-10T20:50:23+00:00

You're young and new to the red pill. This is honestly the best time to hone your skills with women in general. And also focus on yourself on being a better man.

You can take her back however you may fall back into of becoming beta and her running the relationship. It's going to be hard for you to hold frame if she's been leading for the past 3 years.

As hard it maybe, a clean slate and fresh start is what a man sometimes needs in his life. The choice is yours man.

CryptoManbeard · 2014-09-10T20:54:28+00:00

First off, as a beta, it will be a very difficult few days, possibly weeks for you as you deal with the breakup.

You MUST find something new and exciting to occupy your time or you will eat yourself alive with depression and self-loathing.

Next, you sound like a giant ball of depression with no self-confidence. Because of this, you need to make a firm commitment to improving your life by engaging in confidence building activities. You need to hit the gym and make a commitment to getting physically fit.

In addition, you need to enroll in some confidence building activities. I strongly recommend martial arts (BJJ is a great place to start). This is going to up your confidence and allow you to get some man friends who you can do some bonding with, which you will need much more than chicks until your game starts improving.

Focus on improving yourself before you do anything else, the rest will fall into place. If you make women your focus, you're going to fall back into beta traps.

smokingmonkey420 · 2014-09-10T21:39:41+00:00

Let her go. One-itis is a bad thing and it can be difficult to get over if you're still with the girl. Get yourself a fresh start!

the_red_scimitar · 2014-09-10T23:57:44+00:00

Be done with it. As Patrice says, "take the L". There is a whole world waiting for you out there. You let her walk because that's what she wanted. Be a man and suck up your consequences, and move forward.

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2014-09-11T00:19:54+00:00

My advice: you can't be a man without a few breakups under your belt, let her go from exclusivity. You can bang her if you want but you shouldn't be her beta bitch any longer.

Bang at the very least 50 women before you settle down with someone you KNOW you want to have kids and raise a family.

Took me a few multiples of that but I can die happy knowing I did it all.

23490865243879526487 · 2014-09-11T00:38:54+00:00

she has threatened me with a break up now 3 times

She's my first, I feel like l'll always love her.

She wants you to be strong, she needs to feel your strength to be happy. If you love her either commit to being a strong man she clearly wants or let her go now, failure will make you both miserable. If you must take her back tell her that there will be new rules that she will have to obey or GTFO. Make sure you don't tolerate any bullshit or disrespect.

galaxy_man33 · 2014-09-11T19:19:17+00:00

Dude, I'm sorry by how old are you?

GTFO of the relationship and enjoy life by YOURSELF, it sounds like you need to grow as an individual, sounds like she is your life. A woman should never be your life but just a extension of it. From what I can tell the relationship is already doomed if she's threatened a breakup 3 times, wont take her much more to "lose feelings" and branch swing.

Title	3+ years, relationship hanging by a thread.
Author	EnvyOnTheToast
Upvotes	18
Comments	25
Date	September 10, 2014 4:03 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2g0k99/3_years_relationship_hanging_by_a_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/3-years-relationship-hanging-by-a-thread.20857 https://theredarchive.com/post/20857

Comments