Heads up, this is a FR (mobile, can't change flair). Can delete and repost in seddit if not appropriate... But white knights...

One Tuesday night about a month ago I dropped by a usual cocktail bar. I know a lot of the staff, and they one of my favourite beers on offer, cheapest offer in a pricey location in a pricey city. Fairly quiet, only real option was a 2-set with a group nearby watching them. I sit next to them and catch up with some of the staff.

After a beer and a smoke, I open the 2-set, blonde called Jane, and a brunette called Sara sat at the bar next to me. I had seen them close down 3 approaches and decided to practice getting closed down.

Sara was next to me, moaning she didn't like her cocktail. I offered to try it and agreed with Jane it wasn't that bad. I motioned for one of the better mixologists, who is also a very good friend, to come over and shared her plight with him and ask him to make them something awesome. I also ordered a cocktail, which I tried to get the two ladies to pay for, but was turned down. I had my drink added to my tab, and made sure their drinks went on their tab.

We chat, during which they both moved their chairs to face me, and were initiating most of the kino. I discover they are here two days for Jane's birthday, they are both 34 and work together. Their boss was paying for the whole thing. Who I was told was a lovely, sweet guy but a little weird.

Jane was single, and Sara has been married for 10 years. Both are age adjusted 9s. Both are in good shape, hit the gym, and sounded like they ate well. Jane is the life of the party, but hasn't aged as well as Sara. They had spent the day at a spa, their make up was either very light or natural, nothing over the top.

Jane clearly knew the game; constant escalating kino, eye contact, flicking the hair. Sara was less high energy, but she initiated kino and flirted, but it was far more subtle and restrained. During our chat, Sara sat directly next to me with Jane to her left, opposite me. Jane spent a lot of time leaning over Sarah to interact with me.

After an hour or so, I heard Jane ask for the tab. I had a good feeling they wouldn't be happy I didn't pay for their £20 cocktails, but I was wrong.

They were furious, especially Jane.

The slew of profanities I was called was astounding. I feigned innocence, "I never said I would pay, I merely got the bartender to serve you something fun. I even tried to get you guys to pay for mine!". They are now making a drama about the whole thing, other people are watching as Jane argues with bartender. My pal suggests I hide and let him take care of it, so I grab my coat and head to the other side of the bar.

After 30 minutes or so I head for a smoke and bump into Sara. She calls me an asshole and asks me to sit next to her. I tell her I forgive her for making a silly assumption like i would buy strangers a drink and causing a scene. She calls me a cheeky bastard and apologises for the drama. We discuss why I'm an asshole when I'm actually a nice guy, why I'm single and love it, her wedding rings (3 rings, lotta diamonds), how many kids I want, why she has none, her travels around the world.

She informs me that I messed up and could have gotten with Jane, I reply that Jane isn't my type. We make eye contact, smile, I change the subject and then her hamster goes into overdrive.

She drags me back inside, makes Jane apologise, and we continue like nothing happened. Oh, except Sara will not let go of my hand.

She insists up buying me drinks for the rest of the night ("are you trying to get me drunk?") and covers the door charge for a club. All while dragging me by my hand, doing 80% of the talking while I occasionally reply to deflect a shit test or remind her she is married and I don't kiss on school nights. She is endlessly qualifying herself and scolding me for being hot and single, oh, and an asshole.

She tries to k-close 4 times and I turn her down; remind her she is married, try to leave as she can't behave, dragged back each time. She tells me to go dance with a group of girls, so I head over and in the time it takes me to spin and hug two, she is dragging me away.

She demands my number, but I never give mine out and I wasn't taking hers, no matter how much she fumed. She laughs when I call her a spoiled child, and calls me more names.

After the club I walk her back to her hotel and give into her seductive ways. After she insists paying for my cab home.