After a severe one itis, discovering TRP has been such a revelation to me. Everything made perfect sense.

AWALT, AF/BB, Hypergamy, The Wall, SMV.

All those female behaviours apparantely unexplainable, all my failures so far.

It's all so logic now.

I've read the sidebar, i've devoured Rollo Tomassi's books, I'm learning about Stoic principles and trying to apply them in my life.

I think that after you've become conscious of such powerful knowledge there is no going back to your blue pill days.

So, what's the problem? Well, I've always been an extremely sensitive and introvert guy. I have good social skills and I have no problem making friends or having fun.

But in my inner side, I'm a melancholic, poetic guy. I've always been like that. I know, that's feminine, that's desgusting for women. I know.

But that's my nature, I can't deny it. I don't know if it's for the relationship with my mother, if it's written in my genes. The problem is that Plate Theory doesn't apply to me.

The problem is that even today, even after I've internalized TRP, I still tend to fall in love for a single woman at a time, even knowing AWALT.

You know, I'm a bit of nihilist, I don't see great meaning in human life. And romantic love has always been my favourite drug to alleviate existential pain.

But after TRP, I can't deny the truth.

"God is dead".

"Love is dead".

I've been lied to. We've all been.

It's our duty as a man to face the harsh truth and to make the world our oyster. It's our duty to be manly because we are men, and men don't act like whiny pussies.

I've began lifting. I continue to read TRP books. I apply the concepts in real life.

Yeah, they work.

But all that remains to me is a slightly bitter taste.

I'm not interested in fucking as many women as possible, I'm seeking emotional connections and at this point I'm afraid I'm fated to always suffer in my life for hypergamous nature of women.

That's all I know so far.

TRP can be liberating if you're the kind of guy who's able to live relationships with women as a true Alpha.

That's just not my case.

TRP is hard to swallow, I think it's been hard for anyone. But initially I hoped freedom would be the prize.

Now I know that TRP can give you freedom, but, as always, the more you know, the more you distance yourself from happiness.

A note: I'm not an english native speaker, sorry for the possible mistakes.