This is a rant more than anything. English is not my first language so ignore if you see any spelling mistakes.

I have friend that I will call Ben that was a stay-at-home dad. We know eachother since high school, and in high school he was pretty independent, assertive, but at the same time one of the nicest persons you could talk to. He was a sweet dude, everybody liked him. Maybe he was not a typical alpha, but he was a leader among his friends. So, in high school he dated a girl named Julia and they really were into eachother. It was so easy to Ben to get girls because of his easy personality that she asked him to be her boyfriend. Looking back I think that's where things started to go wrong. It was his first girlfriend and he really, really loved her. We basically stopped going out together and the rare moments that we did he always got worried about his girlfriend missing him and always kept texting or calling her. I loved Ben to the core at the time but it was unbearable to stay near him anymore. So we ended up kind of distancing from eachother.

Fast foward a few years after high school. Ben got Julia pregnant after graduation, she had the baby, her family didn't accept it and kicked her out of the house. Ben found a shitty-paying job at a logistics firm, gave up all his dreams of college, left his house and went to live with her in a new shittiest house you can imagine, that they rented in the suburbs of brasilia where we live. Ben worked 8 hours per day, and Julia decided to go to college (college here is free so she only had to study to enter). Ben paid his neighbor to be kinda of a nanny and take care of his child while he was working and she was studying. He also paid for any of Julia expenses in college. And when he was home he basically took care of the daughter more than Julia, who was studying. Ben's family also helped sometimes with money and taking care of the child when he was completely broke at the end of each month. I didn't know what was happening because we lost all contact at the time otherwise I would have helped the best I could. This insane routine went for about 3 years, until Julia found a real job by the end of the college, getting an internship in a prestigious consulting firm and, as she used to say, getting hired after college because she was too good. She was making after the college 3 times what Ben was making at the time, but she worked as much as him.

Ben always hated to left his child to be taken care and grown up in the neighbor, so he talked with his girlfriend (they never married officially because there was no time or money to do this) and he decided to stay at home while she worked, taking care of his daughter. This worked in the beginning and he was happy with it. He contacted me and some of his old friends at this time and kept in touch. He had really changed physically for me, it was really shocking, he was pale and looked tired and 10 years older than he was. I assumed it was because of his work that was really shitty all those years. But he was still sweet, and one of the greatest persons I've ever known.

Fast foward 2 years. His girlfriend admitted to have an affair with a coworker. She told him this and told she didn't want to stay together anymore with Ben because she cant live with herself after what she did. They had a "divorce". Ben went to live with his family again. He tried to find a job and after a few months he got it. He asked to live with me for a while because I lived closer to his job and I said of course. We lived together for a few months. Meanwhile Julia moved to her coworker home and took Ben's child with her. Ben cant have the guard of the girl because his job is unstable and he did not have a home. Julia made difficult for him to see her because she simply didn't have the guts to look at him I assume. He had to lawyer up and he could see his daughter once every 15 days. Ben situation while living with me was the worse you can imagine. No degree, low paying and unstable job, without contact with his daughter, without any good prospects for the future, without a wife and without his classic charisma. He barely talked when he lived with me. I was paying for his lawyer because all he wanted was his daughter. I offered a psychologist but he refused. I also asked him to go to college that I would pay for him but he also refused. I'm sure he was depressed. He moved out of my home after a while and went to live in another shit own home because this would increase his chances of getting his daughter. He enter with an action of guard to get his daughter.

Julia was insane when he did this. She tried to avoid him to contact his daughter. She made his daughter hate him. She entered with fake occurrences on the police saying that he was threatening her, that he invaded her home, that he tried to beat her on the streets, it was 30+ of this. Policy inquiries on him started and he had to pay for a better lawyer to protect himself of this accusations. He had to sell his house and he went back to live with his family. He didn't want to come to live with me anymore because I think he was embarassed of everything. In one of this fake police occurences that Julia made against him the inquiry made him use a policy scan on his ankle. He lost his job when his boss saw this. His life was destroyed in any way imagined.

Last week he tried to kill himself drinking cleaner products and pills in a hotel. The lady who cleaned his room found this and he went to the hospital. He had his stomach pumped and he could survive but his interior was really damaged. He is still there. I found this sub just recently and I just want to put it out. I don't think I'll ever hate anybody as much as I hate Julia. I've honestly thought several times of killing her myself or hiring someone to kill her. Ben's life is completely over, one of the most brilliant persons I've ever met. Thats just a general advice. Don't be like ben.