A little about me. Was overweight, never had any relationship with women until early 20s. Something happened, went into monk mode and lost 15-20 kg in 7 months. Got a little bit taller thanks to good exercise rutines (PT the first months is underated.)
Now people that knew me started to compliment me and girls suddenly started to feel my muscles (without asking, not that it bothered me) and most of all, i got smiles from strange woman at the store, city etc.
Now, you have to remember, for people that has been unattractive the whole life, just to get that changed in their early 20s, this is a whole new scenario. It can be best compared to dogs who chases car. We do not know what to do if we catch one, less when cars actually comes to you.
I just realised that i was half done. I was now good looking, now i needed to act like one. Now this is a difficult one. People that has been overlooked in their youth/childhood by their peers has not the perfect social skills, and in many instances has difficult to see different social situations like an ordinary person. Its not a diagnose, its just lack of practice. So here is where its begins.
The first thing i learned was that girls that you meet at the city is overrated. At one point i was out at town with my sports team. (I also took up rugby, a really great way to get in shape if you manage to avoid the heavy drinking) and meet a girl that seemed into me. However i noticed that she did it with some other guys also. I then realised that she wanted to be the price in a competition where she choose the participants.
Lesson one: Never let yourself be set up against other men for an unknown woman affection.
I backed out, i realized that had it happen before i would literally used money to buy drink to her to win and make a fool out of myself. Later that night the other guy was in i a fight outside the bar, Might be unrelated but somehow i doubt it.
Anyways, life had just started. I have before talked about two types of confidence, fake one that woman see trough easily and real one, made by litres of sweat and dedication that basically is an aphrodisiac for woman. However the most important thing about confidence is what it does for you. It makes you go a way home that you haven't gone before. It makes you apply for something that you did not do before because of rejection, and most of all, it gives you the courage to talk to girls you did not want to talk to before.
Lesson 2: You will never get every girl, but you will always get some of them.
Now, here is where the fun begins. For the first time you need to think what to do after step 1. Step 1 being to talk to a girl, then what, what is really your plan, what do you really want? For me the first time afterwards was just to get the acknowledgement, that i could talk to a girl, get her interested. Nothing more, i just wanted to know i could.
I know it seems strange to many people, but for a person that was a pariah, i had 20 years to take back and i wanted those with interest, i wanted to meet people, i wanted to create the life i dreamed about with friends, interest and not at least, where i was worth something for someone. I did not care about sex or relationship, not for now at least.
For some of you that reading this, i might sound cocky but its not intentional. Its just a ranting or reflection from a person that has been outside looking in for years, always been denied coming in, to suddenly sitting in the chair in the middle. Not that i blame anyone else than myself for it.
So what have i learned? I have just tasted the topping of the cake and for the first time in my life i felt that the world is mine!
Edit: When i say i got taller i did not mean that i got more cm to my length, but thanks to my PT got my back straighten up and have a better posture.
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