Do you regret losing your virginity? Do you suggest someone wait or not?

ladyyninjaa · 2020-12-19T23:07:33+00:00

Most men aren't good in bed anyways.

snowwhite224 · 2020-12-20T01:13:03+00:00

I’m 23 and a virgin. Personally men aren’t shit and I’m waiting until I’m married 😂 if a man can wait for that, then I think we’re good. :)

pancakeCEO · 2020-12-20T00:52:08+00:00

I think I lost my virginity at 20 or 21 with my bf at the time. Maybe if I were to do it again, I'd want the circumstances to be different but I don't regret it. Tbh, I don't really remember all of the details of it. Maybe because it happened "later" in life, it was less of a big deal.

I don't think your weight has to do with your virginity. However, it might be the case that the men you're attracted to aren't attracted to you.

Personally, I wouldn't wait until marriage because I think you need to figure out beforehand if you're sexually compatible and that he'll respect you and doesn't have any fucked up kinks. I would just keep following FDS and be intimate with someone you trust.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-12-19T22:04:10+00:00

I’m 28 and on the same boat. A lot of times I feel unwanted bc I don’t understand why I can’t just meet a decent man but tbh their are many males but not too many HVM. So most of the commenters will tell you to keep your standards and vet etc. also you mentioned you are religious so maybe you could try church or bible group etc if you want to do after marriage

Lamiek · 2020-12-20T11:31:52+00:00

I don't regret it. Also, I wouldn't marry someone without knowing how generous are in bed and if they have porn-addiction related issues.

Besides, you don't lose anything. Virginity is a social construct.

dkwantsdk · 2020-12-20T06:54:32+00:00

I have never regretted not being a virgin. Sex is amazing! What I regret is waiting to have sex for the first time for the wrong reasons and not prioritizing my pleasure.

_bethiebabes · 2020-12-20T06:07:40+00:00

If I could go back I’d wait longer. I was the last of my friends group to lose my virginity, so I was eager to be done with it and just more on (even though I was only 19 which I realize now is so fricking young), but it was honestly the worst sex I have ever had, like, soooooo embarrassingly bad. Absolutely was not worth it and I should have cut that dude off way sooner.

I’m not necessarily someone who thinks you should wait until marriage, or that it has to be, like, disney-magical, but I definitely wish I’d waited.

aliyah_200018 · 2020-12-20T03:00:08+00:00

TW on the topic in case anyone is sensitive to it.

my virginity was taken from me, without getting graphic my “boyfriend” who was almost 7 years older than me held me down and i wasn’t strong enough to get him off me.

i don’t regret it because it made me extremely vigilant of men after i finally figured out i was being abused and groomed (took me a while, i was young and had a rough teenage life) and im now with a really amazing guy who makes me feel safe and we have amazing sex. i never had sex casually, and i had no real desire to. i am happy with that as while my friends were getting heart broken and played i had a lot of time to work on myself, i never used sex for validation the way a lot of people do so that’s not a behaviour i had to unlearn.

i dont think its a bad thing to want to only have sex with your husband, but i also don’t think you should miss out on things because of it. just make sure a man is worthy of you and is consistent about it and you’ll be golden

spikcicle · 2020-12-22T03:35:50+00:00

It's not a big deal to be a virgin or not a virgin. Your first time can feel important, but eventually it doesn't really matter.

I think the bigger issue seems to be about your body image. I would suggest leveling up in two ways. Work toward a body that makes you feel good, and work toward feeling good about your body. For me, I had to do the second to accomplish the first. Because confidence is what is sexy, not just a "good body". There's a lot of beauty in a lot of body types. This will help you find a situation in which you enjoy the experience.

Keep at it with finding your boundaries and finding a HVM. Sex is a part of most long-term relationships. If he treats you well, if you feel happy, if it's been several months of vetting and you're still happy with him, and if you want to have sex, no reason to over think it. Just do what feels good. Yes, it is possible to find a guy who will wait til marriage. Yes, it's a little harder, and you might have to compromise on those less important things (not necessarily).

onlyrhetorical · 2020-12-24T20:12:34+00:00

I 100% regret losing my virginity at the age I did, I thought I was mature, but in reality, I was a major "cool girl". Me losing my virginity as early as I did, made me shape unhealthy views around relationships and sex. If I could change the past, I would without a doubt wait to be in a serious and committed relationship.

Sounds like the men you have been seeing are not HVM (talking about sex without commitment, being sex-obsessed). Definitely keep your boundaries, and don't expect sex to be a life-changing experience, because most likely it will be mediocre. FDS handbook has a very good section about sex and there was an excellent post on the main FDS group about losing your virginity.

If you want to lose it after marriage, keep your standards and don't change your boundaries for some LVM. Wait at least to be in a serious, long-term committed relationship.

Title	Do you regret losing your virginity? Do you suggest someone wait or not?
Author	DaisyDoesaDollup23
Upvotes	30
Comments	12
Date	December 19, 2020 9:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/kgh4t2/do_you_regret_losing_your_virginity_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/do-you-regret-losing-your-virginity-do-you-suggest.1060004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060004

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