How to respond to a ‘drinks’ date

Lalelolaleelo · 2020-09-28T21:15:48+00:00

When my partner asked me out for coffee I told him I prefer dinner dates and would need a phone call before anything else.

He rolled with it and organized a time to speak on the phone and then planned a dinner date after I told him I was comfortable with our phone call.

I wouldn't worry about being polite - like don't be mean but if a guy is into you they won't care how you say it, they will do what they need to do.

moxymoxalone · 2020-09-28T20:53:33+00:00

“I’m not much of a drinker, but dinner would be lovely”.

Since a couple of rounds of drinks are monetarily equal to Thai or Chinese food, there should not be an issue if you want to eat rather than drink. The only reason a man insists on a drink date would be to get you in a state where it would be possible to have sex with you. If he declines to buy you dinner, you can decline to date him.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-29T00:57:39+00:00

I don’t drink with men, so I’d just say, “I don’t drink with men I don’t know really well, but I could do dinner on x or y day.”

miloba_ · 2020-09-29T01:42:19+00:00

I actually just went through this recently. We planned for dinner, then things fell through that evening (mutual misunderstanding), but he still wanted to see me that night and threw out a few other options. I simply said “Let’s reschedule for dinner” and he immediately got the hint, and we had a great time the following evening.

A man would never be called rude if he stated his preferences. So why should a woman? I’d say “Let’s get dinner instead.” No need to directly shoot down his drinks idea. Just respond with what you want.

thighsmatch · 2020-09-29T03:29:24+00:00

I tell him I don’t drink much, which is true, and then if he doesn’t offer dinner I bail. Trust that there are lots of men out there who would love the chance to impress you.

I dislike the whole “I’m accustomed to more formal dates,” response idea. Do you really want to date a man who you have to negotiate with from the jump and teach how to treat you from step one? Sounds exhausting. This is the courting stage when he should be trying extra hard!

Hhjjuuy · 2020-09-28T21:01:54+00:00

Hmm... Could you try: "that sounds like a great idea, I'd love to have a glass of wine with dinner while we get to know each other"

And if he responds that he asked you out for a drink and not for dinner, you may consider getting rid of him. A guy that really likes you will pick up on the not-so-subtle clue and suggest a restaurant for dinner. And you are expressing enthusiasm in getting to know him, so this is a very nice way to ask.

Sea_Soil · 2020-09-28T21:34:16+00:00

All great suggestions already. You could also go with, "I'm accustomed to a more formal setting."

It's a simple, "No, thank you." He can step up and ask you on a real date or you can block and move on.

Also, I happen to be straight edge and don't drink alcohol at all, so if you're like be you have an automatic reason why it wouldn't work!

fim_de_semana · 2020-09-29T15:15:26+00:00

I told a guy I had already drank with that if we are going on a DATE, no drinks.

He needs to put on his little male head that dates are fucking important.

greenpillows4 · 2020-09-28T21:40:21+00:00

I know this isn’t a popular opinion here, but I actually think a drinks date is fine IF you met him online. Personally I wouldn’t want to be stuck having dinner with someone who sucks lol.

My go-to line is “Sure, but can we go somewhere with food? I’m usually starving around that time.”

That way you have an easy out if you don’t like him (can stay for one drink) but you’re also planting the seed that he better be prepared to feed you.

Title	How to respond to a ‘drinks’ date
Author	CS_student99
Upvotes	53
Comments	19
Date	September 28, 2020 8:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/j1k2zs/how_to_respond_to_a_drinks_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-to-respond-to-a-drinks-date.1068393 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068393

Comments