Amused Mastery, Comfort Test, Update

rocknrollchuck · 2016-09-21T15:15:54+00:00

I'm really fond of the Heartiste definition of Amused Mastery:

Amused Mastery - The confident attitude you project that shows you are in control, and are amused by the challenges women throw at you. It means you never take them seriously, like a bratty younger sister, because you understand the game. Anything they say to get under your skin can be skillfully turned into a reverse Jedi Mind Trick, which also presses their attraction buttons. The key is to take nothing they say at face value. Everything she does is cute. Her silly little opinions are adorable. She is there for you to tease and taunt and patronize. Condescend to her at will.

Some other gems I've come across and saved over the last year and a half:

When your woman complains about something that is not an important life or death matter, or tries to pick a fight over something, never argue. Because except for rare cases, she’s not after the solution to her complaint or a resolution to her conflict. She’s after validation. Attention. When you respond to a complaint, you validate it. You took something that was trivial and unimportant and treated it like it was a legitimate talking point.

If you're in an argument with your wife and she's right, she will get to the point and stay on point until you apologize. But if she starts to go "off road" by bringing up stuff that has nothing to do with the issue, then you've already won; take a knee and wait for her to wear herself out. Then come back with "Let's discuss this later when you calm down."

Remember, what YOU feel, SHE feels. She will ALWAYS be trying to FEEL you. If you feel frustrated, she feels frustrated. If you feel despair, she feels despair. If you feel happy, she feels happy. If you feel playful, she feels playful. If you feel horny, well... It has been shown that male lust turns women on. This is why the focus must be on you. As you think, YOU shall become. But as you feel, so shall she feel. Women cannot love a wall, so they want to knock it down. So connect! Get that feeling of joy in your world AND LET IT OUT. Let it live in your walk, let it live in your speech, let it live in your eyes. The sexiest thing a man can do is SMILE. But smile not with just your lips, smile with your eyes, smile in your walk, smile with your talk.

Learn to identify the FEELING coming from her. Don't even listen to her words, FEEL how she says it and why.

Most anger is actually fear.

Communicate less, not more – The whole world’s solution to relationship problems is communication. And if that’s not working, counseling, where the counselor can have you communicate some more. But when your woman comes home at the end of the day and begins to complain about a co-worker or friend of hers, and chatters on and on for 45 minutes straight about this other person you barely know and don’t care about, she doesn’t want you to offer solutions or advice. She just wants you to sit there and listen. To communicate less. To just say “uh huh” and nod. She wants you to hear her feelings, but she doesn’t want you to tell her what you think. And when you’re having a hard time at work and may be getting fired at the end of the week, that’s the last thing she wants to hear from you. If you tell her about your worries, she’ll just worry, too, and there’s nothing she can do about the problem. So by communicating, you’ve made her sad. Especially by communicating things that make it seem like you don't have it together. The biggest test of all will be when she comments that you never talk about yourself or express what you’re feeling to her and demands that you tell her about your feelings. But remember, guys, this is a test, and the right answer is: Agree and Amplify: “Uhh. Let’s see. I’m feeling hungry. And horny. Definitely horny. But mostly hungry. If you’d worn a shorter skirt, maybe we could have flipped the two around, but I’m going to go get some food.” Her inner self will nod in approval when you say that. "Yup. Still a man," she'll confirm.

Illimitable Men Maxim #57: “Men control an interaction by being non-reactive. Women control an interaction by being hyper-emotional.”

Maxim #58: “Women feed off excess emotion, men tire from it..."

Maxim #59: “Women thrive on drama, it allows them to weaponise emotion and push an agenda. Starve them of emotion, and they have nothing to fight with. A woman starved of emotion will become desperate to sustain her psychological onslaught. As such, she will attempt to pry it from the dead, exaggerating observations and manufacturing issues in order to sustain the indignance necessary to maintain her psychological assault.”

MAXIM #84 – “Women detest criticism and judgment in any form. Even when intended constructively, they will misperceive an attack upon their reputation. Women can’t handle criticism. They ask for the truth out of ego and self-importance, but they cannot handle it.

MAXIM #96 – “A man who commits easily and gives attention freely is the male equivalent of a slut to women. He will be used, but by nature of his availability and the ease of which his emotional intimacy is available, never desired. This one-sided dynamic is that which constitutes the fabled friend zone.”

It seems otherwise, because most women aren't stupid - but you start pulling ahead, and they step up their game to keep you. It's not the goal, it's an added side benefit. I guarantee any guy taking his self-improvement seriously was pretty much on his way to ditching her when all of a sudden, she found the gym, laid off the Cheetos, and learned that she loved to give blowjobs out of nowhere.

Amused Mastery implies distance – an ability to chuckle at those poor souls who haven’t figured out the big picture yet, all the while remaining untouched by their crap slinging and self-destruction.

EDITS - formatting

UEMcGill · 2016-09-21T14:53:24+00:00

You're trying to put 5 rounds of .50 AE downrange at 25 yards when you haven't even mastered plinking with a .22LR yet. Put down the big gun and learn some fundamentals of firearm control first.

About halfway through this process she starts crying. I try to comfort her twice. Each time, she physically swats me away, and tells me to back off. The second time, I hold the hug for two seconds and she gets strongly aggressive.

You know why she did this? Because it's a beta-bitch move; you could have said "stop crying, why are you crying, there's no reason to cry" and it would have had the same effect.

First thing to work on. A woman's feelings are hers and hers to deal with. Quit trying to fix them.

Read WISNIFG, if you already have, read it again. You are walking into a verbal jujitsu with your wife and you don't even know it. Her words are controlling and manipulative and you need to learn how to deflect them at minimal or turn them against her at best.

Seriously considering telling her in person: You're right, I don't care what you think about the laundry.

No you weren't, because that's something I would say, and I don't give a fuck about what my wife thinks, especially when silly shit spews from her mouth.

can't go about your own life ignoring the people around you w/o concern and say you love them."

This is your wife saying "You should feel guilty for your actions", do you?

Quit worrying so much about technique. STFU is your best friend right now.

I'll give you one "tip" on how to deal with your wife. Controlling people don't want to appear controlling when it's brought to their attention. So flip that shit and put it out in the open.

This AM she texts me it isn't about the laundry, it is that I am changing things that impact her w/o consideration and because of that it shows that I don't care what she thinks.

So when she says stuff like this, address it in person. Be calm, and ask, "Oh so I need to understand, are you saying I need permission?"

Of course she'll balk, because she doesn't want permission from you for sure.

"So help me understand, I don't need permission but I need to consult with you? If you ask me not to, I still have a choice? Is that correct?"

She'll either double down and try to push it as her being consulted, so you go broken record, "but I'm an adult capable of making decisions?" or she'll say "No it's my decision." but I doubt she'd say that.

Next step will be learning how to take advice from the first officer.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-09-21T12:57:06+00:00

You do sound like a detached dick who is over thinking everything. I can see her view.

you even go so far as to say that it's going to take some hard-reading - motherfucker, have you ever noticed that less can be more?

Instead of saying a 1,000 word post isn't enough, maybe you should have some introspection & recognize that you simply aren't able to recognize that more does not = better.

you don't need 10,000 words, you need 1 action. choose to fucking relax and make yourself a part of your family.

My wife likes doing my laundry, she views it as her way of contributing, which it is.

If she can't cook a meal because you're drinking protein shakes, you've also taken that womanly duty from her.

Why would she ever fall into your frame when she thinks you're about to rip it away?

Enjoy the fucking ride, smile, and fucking flirt with her.

AM is nothing more than flirting with your woman when she's pissed.

A_Rex · 2016-09-21T14:23:54+00:00

This AM she texts me it isn't about the laundry, it is that I am changing things that impact her w/o consideration and because of that it shows that I don't care what she thinks. Seriously considering telling her in person: You're right, I don't care what you think about the laundry.

You my be having/approaching a mini main event. Read up on that. As others have suggested, you are changing the rules, she's losing control of you and she doesn't like it.

I'll give you one tip - do NOT tell her you don't care what she thinks about the laundry. Just actually not give a fuck, and behave as such. If she starts crying about the fucking laundry again, gotta AA that. Say "I understand tha my past failure with that delicate cycle I ran has traumatized you. I've made an appointment with the best psychiatrist for post-traumatic laundry stress disorder in Los Angeles (or somewhere far away). You flight leaves Friday at 4:00 pm. We'll get through this babe", all with a smirk on your face.

mountainThruster · 2016-09-21T12:47:28+00:00

My main problem is that when I try AM it comes off super arrogant/cocky/condescending.

So. Practice makes perfect. I actually find it funny now. Its funny when my wife acts like a brat.

My wife gets very upset at this.

Over laundry...yeah, she very clearly sees you trying to get out of her control and she don't fucking like it. GOOD. Whine, cry, smack, act like a little girl until big meanie submits! And he does! What a child he is. Hrumph, you smack the dog on the nose when it's misbehaving. Why not this other pet I've adopted to keep me company? I mean, that's always worked in the past. He would come running, I'd smack him and he'd lick my pussy as a reward. And he goes out to get me money! And he tries harder every time I smack him! That good pussy licker! Aww, you're so cute. NO, NO! Bad pussy licker, stop humping my leg!

I know a lot of MRP advice would be to next her.

Not after two months. She's fighting to keep control.

can't go about your own life ignoring the people around you w/o concern and say you love them.

Translation - Crawl on your knees, dunk your head in lube, and insert your head into my frame. Yeah, it kind of stinks. No that's not corn. Yes, it's how we work as a team and have a successful marriage.

Look, I've been doing this for about a year. Like you, some of us have a really fucking deep whole to climb out of. Accept the fact that you must work on you. NOT work on fashioning tools that might get my wife to settle the fuck down and let me insert my penis into her

You dig?

SorcererKing · 2016-09-21T13:48:29+00:00

Give fewer fucks. Develop a frame for fuck's sake. You're sprinkling alpha on it.

Bread_Pilled · 2016-09-21T14:38:47+00:00

Laundry, a task that has typically been left to your spouse, is no longer tasked to her because of the following:

Screw that. I'm a man. I should at least take care of my own shit

Yet your wife translates it as "yet another separation of [you] from the family." When pressed about it, there is a thin attempt to fog, and a vague assertion of the covert contract that you have developed:

That is, I don't talk much. My main point of argument is close to broken record - "gee, it seems like you want me more involved in the family's life. It seems we have much bigger problems than me doing my own laundry. There are a lot of other things you could do if you wanted me involved in the family, yet I don't see them happening..."

Shame! Enough passive aggressiveness! If there is something to say, say it! If not, STFU!

About halfway through this process she starts crying. I try to comfort her twice. Each time, she physically swats me away, and tells me to back off...So this seems like a comfort test AND she is acting like she has zero attraction to me at all, in fact does not trust me.

My friend, this was no comfort test. Her emotions are not yours to fix. There is no attraction. There is no trust.

Ask yourself: Why not? Are you still attracted to her? Why is staying in this relationship worth it to you?

sh0ckley · 2016-09-21T16:55:19+00:00

Amused Mastery - the word mastery implies a skill that can only be attained with consistent practice. There are also other more remedial skills that can be learned in order to prepare for it.

Do or do not, there is no try. ~Yoda

The only times I've caught recent glimpses of what genuine AM looks and feels like, I wasn't trying. It just happened. It's not something I can try to do. AM will follow as I continue practicing the pre-requisites. Get out of your own way man.

Also, do you legitimately want to do your own laundry? Why? Or is that just a Pussy McFaggot power move? The other day my wife said she sometimes feels useless (because I am so self sufficient now at running my life that she benefits from.) There's no harm in her contributions so long as you lead. Sounds like you're a wanna-be captain who is gonna swab the decks damnit and make sure that the entire crew sees you because it's really PR campaign to convince them that you're legit.

weakandsensitive · 2016-09-21T18:44:18+00:00

I could use some hard-reading links on amused matery. Not a 1,000 word post by Rollo, two minutes of a podcast by bluepill prof, or a paragraph or two in MMSLP.

Things that don't match your reality are absurd, ridiculous, or both.

nastynickdr · 2016-09-21T20:24:15+00:00

Theres a post about the drunken captain that you should read, try searching for it.

Imagine that for years on you were the drunk captain, passed out on the deck with booze by your side. Your wife was the captain controlling the ship. Sometimes you would drunkenly try to reach for the controls and your wife just would go "here, take another bottle and go back to your place" and you complied.

You cant just expect to take control back out of nowhere without her resistance and her thinking you are gonna do a good job. This takes time.

enfier · 2016-09-21T21:13:13+00:00

Doing your own laundry was launching a nuke. I don't know if your intent was to destroy all comfort by making her feel completely unnecessary, but you succeeded!

Don't launch the nuke unless intend to and can deal with the meltdown. You should have just let her do the laundry.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-09-21T22:02:03+00:00

I researched this thoroughly for my book and there is actually very little written about amused mastery. It is a mindset, not a "technique" that you can even really describe. A routine doesn't cut it for Amused Mastery. A rehearsed comment doesn't work either. You must REALLY have mastered yourself, your responses and your wife to employ Amused Mastery.

Imagine you are babysitting a very smart and precocious 8 year old little girl. Amused Mastery is (something of) a condescending smile, the look that says "Oh My God you are so cute thinking or feeling that way. I know it is wrong, or at least not exactly right, but that's OK, she will learn. She is a smart girl."

Amused Mastery is INDIVIDUAL for you and for your relationship so we can't tell you what "Amused Mastery" looks like precisely in your marriage.

Here are some ideas, largely from my marriage frame:

--Scratch her on the head and tell her she is such a good girl

--Grab her and hold her tight while she is raging about something or other.

--Listen intently to her problem and then make light of it, showing her it is not something WE need to worry about.

--Tell her in the babytalk voice: "Aww, you are so cute." Kiss is optional but recommended.

Title	Amused Mastery, Comfort Test, Update
Author	logger1234
Upvotes	1
Comments	30
Date	September 21, 2016 12:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/53stpo/amused_mastery_comfort_test_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/amused-mastery-comfort-test-update.207075 https://theredarchive.com/post/207075

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