Cheated

BobbyPeru · 2017-08-29T22:42:07+00:00

TRP is amoral, so if you're asking us a question about morality, you're in the wrong place.

Plain and simple, do what you think will make you happy.

If you feel you need to go bang other chicks, do it. But break up first is my only suggestion based on experience.

FireTempered · 2017-08-29T23:02:10+00:00

Have any of you done something similar and did it successfully?

Yes.

If this blows up how should I handle it with the whole lease thing?

You get to pay the lease. If you can't/won't pay for the consequences, you aren't owning your shit.

What are your thoughts on it?

Enjoy yourself, if you know how. IMO Your whole post tells me that you are not ready to fully own this. If caught you will stammer and crawl like a chump.

Scurvemuch · 2017-08-30T00:18:51+00:00

You keep saying you're ok with it and yet here you are - asking a bunch of guys whether they think you are going to OK handling a woman who is not ok with you having side pieces. You personally won't be at the moment. Why ?

Because you can't even tell yourself the truth. You didn't want a monagomous relationship. You wanted mommy to save you from the life you created - which was "killing you".

Marriage ? Kids ?

You can't even keep a promise to yourself.

zeteomegaleio · 2017-08-29T22:56:08+00:00

I personally don't buy cheating being "OK". What comes next isn't about the morals of whether fucking other chicks is right or wrong. The issue is how you go about it.

My thoughts are in-line with Jordan Peterson's about speaking your truth and not lying across your entire life. I've been down the road of being a manipulative, under-handed person... and the results I got are why I think the whole "Dark Triad" thing some RP'ers espouse is fucking ridiculous, because it often advocates taking the easy way out, lying, being deceitful, etc.

And whether or not you feel morally OK with being that kind of person (which I don't think truly mentally healthy and confident people can be), you always wind up attracting bad shit and events into your life by being a shitty person. Sure, have teeth and bring out your monster when you need to defend yourself, but reveling in it as if it is a strategy or cheat code for life is short-sighted at best.

Anyway...

You could go be like Jack Murphy. Whether you are in a sub/dom relationship like he is or not, you could get with someone where it is cool that you go fuck other chicks. Then you are standing with integrity and congruence with yourself and your wants. And I think those wants are totally fine too - you gotta do what you gotta do.

I think u/scurvemuch nailed it with this post basically: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6vyqt8/cheating_means_you_are_a_beta_faggot/

Either you don't feel bad about it, in which case keep going. Or you set the conditions/relationship up so that you can do it and not feel bad about it, like Jack or lots of other guys.

But I think that sneaking around behind your chick's back is ultimately a bitch move, as outlined in scurve's post, and I think the feeling of guilt is you knowing you're not doing something right FOR YOU. Not according to what I think or what morals I have, but specifically YOUR moral system has an issue with this. Whenever you feel guilty/anxious/whatever about something in your life, it probably means you need to adjust course somehow. That isn't a suggestion that you should stop fucking side-piece, by the way. Just that if you want to be at peace with this, there is probably going to be some pain involved for someone.

Or keep fucking side-piece and live with the guilt. Your call.

Quick edit: I thought about a few other guys on here who own their shit and don't have guilt about cheating. Some of them are staying in their current relationship because of other circumstances, but might otherwise leave, and so cheating helps with that. This post isn't about them - those guys are mostly owning their shit and if you aren't feeling bad/guilty/whatever, more power to you. It is specifically about people like OP who aren't tied down for any real reason and are in fact feeling guilt.

Triadis3 · 2017-08-30T04:28:39+00:00

I want this one girl.

But, I want to keep fucking other girls.

So you have two options...

1 - Keep lying and cheating on your wife. I don't give a fuck about your morality but consider what you're doing. Sneaking around behind mommy's back? That is basically the opposite of both Owning Your Shit and Living within your own frame. Look, if you're afraid of getting caught, you're not in a place where this behaviour benefits you. You need to grow up.

2 - Lay it out for wife to be. Honey, I can't stop seeing other women. Period. See what happens. It's unfair to her to have a cheating husband. So let her make the decision if she wants to allow you to fuck others or quit seeing you. If your n count is that high, presumably you have frame and game down, so you might be surprised.

Examine your reasons as to why you are sex addicted (or not, maybe just a horny motherfucker). Look at yourself. Why do you need strange? The ultimate answer to your dilemma will come from within.

Trust me, I know of what I speak. Here is my "Bio" from a few days ago that mirrors your life.

donedreadpirate · 2017-08-29T22:35:45+00:00

If you're happy, keep doing it, and if it blows up, deal with it. Not that hard bro. Doesn't sound like you are prepared for that, though. So prepare yourself.

bob13bob · 2017-08-30T01:15:17+00:00

dump your ltr, or tell her non exclusive or nothing. don't reenter another ltr if thats not what you want.

jdogworld · 2017-08-30T02:55:03+00:00

Having been married now for 23 Years my opinion is do wtf you want. If you get married stop that this. Clearly your ltr aint all that if you feel the Need to cheat...

creating_my_life · 2017-08-30T03:30:52+00:00

You need to learn to live congruently. You live and act in every way aligned to your values. Many of those values can be socially unacceptable. But telling your LTR one thing and acting another way isn't living congruently.

It also seems with both girls you have a bit of oneitis, and aren't outcome independent. That's another thing to work on.

Soberskipper · 2017-08-30T07:41:37+00:00

Sidechicks always always always catch feelz. If you want a variation of pussy then great approach women, get numbers and have a plate rotation. If you're fucking them every other week usually they aren't with you enough to catch feelz but it can still happen. Another problem you will encounter is she may be obeying the rules for now but it's only a matter of time before Sidechick decides to shit test you. Sidechick will eventually understand she has a position of power especially if you've stated you don't want to break up with your so. And then come the powerplays, and this is where the alpha cheater leader turns into a scared beta chump (meeting all demands to keep it a secret) repluses the sidechick and opens himself up to a huge problem. She no longer gets the tingles but she mite keep him around for financial gain or burn him by telling people.

Drifting in and out of plates lifes is easier and your more fun because they don't have to know about every day stresses etc. The only problem I've found with plating is I just don't have the time and it really pisses me off lol.

askmeanything2 · 2017-08-29T23:01:44+00:00

Some guys are cut out for monotony, sorry, autocorrect, monogamy, and some aren't. Figure out which you are before kids. See blackdragon for thoughts on OLTR.

atlhart · 2017-08-30T22:52:56+00:00

To me, it's not about morals. It's about owning your shit. Own your actions and be true to yourself.

If YOU say you're vomited to one woman, then commit to that woman until you give notice that you are no longer vomited to that woman.

Anything else is being a chicken shit that's not true to themselves.

Title	Cheated
Author	trowaway3724
Upvotes	0
Comments	64
Date	August 29, 2017 10:15 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6wuq24/cheated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/cheated.205578 https://theredarchive.com/post/205578

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