This is a minor FR, where I made the mistake, and realized afterwards. Could be a future lesson learned for anyone less than 12 months in. Certainly a lesson learned for me.

I'm interested in peoples thoughts or whether i'm on the right track with this shit test. (albeit slightly too late).

I'm 12 months in, still have a long way to go, but am learning and excited for the future.

Got home from work, we decided to head out to the local pub for dinner, which we do once a week. Small town, its the only place to eat out. The moods were good, a bit of game and kino going on, both of us happy and flirty. Its Friday afterall.

As we arrive, pre convo is a long the lines of this:

SO: "So what are u thinking you'll get? The food wasnt that great last time."

me: "Hmm, not sure, I will have to see the menu."

SO: "I'm feeling like ribs, ribs are impossible to get wrong."

Me: "Mmm I dunno, not impossible, they could be dry and over done."

SO: "Hmm maybe but unlikely."

We entered the pub, took our seats, gotta couple drinks and continued on in good moods, talking about our days etc. All light hearted and fun.

Dinner eventually arrives and low and behold, the mrs ribs were terrible. Unfortunate for her. I got a steak and chips and mine was ok.

I could see the mrs mood slowely going down hill while consuming her average ribs, I offered her some of my steak and chips but she wasnt interested. Still, at this point, the night was not ruined.

Until this convo happened:

SO: :You jinxed it, on the way in."

I am unphased, unmoved, continue to hold frame.

SO: "you definitely jinxed it."

I do a bit of A&A.

What happens next is where I went wrong and ruined the evening.

SO: (still trying to get a reaction out of me as she finishes her meal): "Well, good job, you've ruined my dinner and the night, you had those negatives thoughts as we came in and look what you've done."

Unless I'm mistaken, this was the shit test right here, her trying to get a reaction out of me. This is the point where I should have held frame, and either STFU or maybe some more AM/AA. But I was a weak little buthurt bitch and was offended by her words (boohoo i know) and accusing me of ruining the night. So like a weak bitch, I DEER.

Me: "How the fuck could me saying that its possible to get bad ribs result in you actually getting bad ribs?"

SO: "Because you did, this is your fault."

Me: "What a load of shit, you're pissed off you got bad food and now you're blaming it on me, how could what i say translate to the kitchen??" (me all butthurt and annoyed and DEERing like fuck).

SO then goes dead cold/quiet/moody, doesn't even look at me or talk for the rest of the evening.

I continue to be a butthurt little bitch: "So now ur not even gonna talk to me? Is this what you wanted?" weak/neediness i know. She sat there stonecold, wouldnt even look at me or respond, the night was officially ruined.

We left, and on the way home in my butthurt state, i was trying to work out where I went wrong here, and im sure i figured it out. I just failed her shit test, trying to get a reaction out of me. If i just ignored her acting like a child trying to blame me for the bad ribs, or I did more AA/AM, and held my frame, then im positive she would have let it go once the dishes were gone, and we would have continued having a good night together, despite some bad food.

A year ago, this woulda gone on for days, I would chased her around the house argueing with her, woulda gone on into the next morning, snowballed into other shit (probably past fights). Instead on the way home I just shut up, got home and went and did some shit in the backyard, she eventually went to bed and i did a few hours later and we woke up in the morning and all was good again. Thank fuck I realised on the way home and STFU then, albeit too late.

Thoughts/comments appreciated.