Stats:

23yo 5'8" 178lbs, 4y married, 3mo daughter
Reading: NMMNGx3(20%), WISNIFGx2, TWotSM, TRM, MMSLP, MAP, PFP, Pook, Frame, Mystery Method
Lifts: SQ: 195x5, DL: 365x5, BP: 175x5, OHP: 105x5, Row: 165x5

The Question:

I have some anger poking through in my OYS that has been noticed. After some feedback and self-reflection, it seems to me that a lot of this anger is rooted in my ego. If I feel attacked by my wife in any sense, my responses are sometimes controlled WISNIFG tools or I’ll drop the ball and give an angry/bitter response. BUT I always feel bitter, not just when I show it, but even when I’m able to somewhat mask it with a fogging/NI/NA response. If someone judges me in any way, I’m affected by it, good or bad. So I basically have weak frame, and people are able to get to me because my self-worth is rooted in what they say about me, good or bad. I know this is in large part due to my fragile ego.

The second part to this is that I know if I’m able to respect myself by putting in the work for self-improvement, I won’t care as much when someone tells me I’m “this” or I’m “that”. But at this point, I don’t think I’m hot shit because I’m not. Realistically, if someone says something bad about how socially awkward I am, they’re right, I am a little socially awkward. So how do I take that and not care? I do care and I’m working to improve it, but until I get there, it'll affect the way I view myself.

So my question is: What are the practical ways to change a mental model? How do I actually drop my ego to the point of not caring what anyone thinks, regardless of what it is? Do you just repeat it in your head? Write it down a lot? Get in situations that trigger the emotion and talk yourself through it, kind of like exposure therapy? So far, I’ve been doing all of these things, but it’s still an issue for me. I’m wondering if I’m missing something.