How to raise a daughter successfully

somebullshitrp · 2019-10-03T06:26:07+00:00

You sound a lot like me many years ago. Your goal should be to raise a well-adjusted child. I would say your rebellious behavior as a kid is probably a combo of attention seeking and resentment due to a less than ideal upbringing. Try to think about what in your childhood caused you to behave the way you did, and do better for your daughter. Some of the most important things I've learned in raising my daughter are...

Don't try to control everything in your child's life. Give your kid power over age appropriate things. Always always always follow through on your word, whether it's a consequence or a promise to take her to the zoo. Don't yell, don't lose your cool, don't ever let her manipulate your emotions (good advice for dealing with children and adults). Encourage her to try new things and ensure she knows it's ok to make mistakes along the way. Practice, and therefore teach, mindfulness. Give her a stable and secure base from which she can reach out and experiment with life. Don't punish for mistakes, childish behavior, or when she pushes your boundaries/rules, but come down hard if you ever catch her lying to you. Give her actual responsibilities. Don't tolerate willful disrespect from her, or anyone else in your life. Always let her see you following through on commitments, being disciplined, and accomplishing your goals.

SBIII · 2019-10-03T09:43:18+00:00

How to raise a daughter successfully

Become a man of high value.

Spend some time reflecting on what you want in life - what are your goals and your dreams. Use these to formulate your mission.

Spend time working on how you are going to attain these goals.

Then do the work.

Fill the calendar at least one month in advance.

Have a large social circle. Not just one or two friends that you see once a month. Have a selection of people that you can meet up with any time, then do that at least one day a week.

Have hobbies. Surfing, kite fying, playing in a Death Metal band, fucking pottery. Whatever. Cultivate your hobbies.

Look after your body. You only have one. Lift heavy, eat properly, sleep well and drink plently of water.

Look after your mind. Educate yourself by constantly and consistently find ways to expand your thinking - reading, mediation, taking classes, learning new things. Your mind is like a garden.. feed it with light and water and weed out the weeds.

Challenge yourself. At least once a year, find something that will really push you and make you feel uncomfortable. Learn to swim, jump out of an aeroplane, do fucking salsa classes.

Be the family Alpha.

Utilise the time you spend with your family to teach them new things, lead them, bring them on adventures and have fun.

Earn a decent living. Enough to support you and your kids. If you want your wife to stay at home, make sure you earn enough to cover her too. Otherwise, send her ass out to earn a living. Either way, don't trust her with the money. That will come back to bite you.

Control the family finances - make sure you know what's coming in and going out. Track everything. Use the data to plan ahead. Keep her spending in check. Keep your own spending in check. Save at least 10% of all income. Build a savings pot for rainy days. You never know when you might need it.

Keep your house in good order. Regularly make an inspection of the entire property - inside and out. Make a list of anything that needs doing. Price up what needs to be done and budget for it. Schedule in when you are going to do it.

Then do the work.

Decide what a having a great sex life means to you. Then go have a great sex life.

Own Your Shit.

Then own the shit out of that shit.

Learn how to dress yourself properly.

Learn how to groom yourself properly.

Learn how to smell good.

Know your boundaries. Know when to enforce them. Know how to enforce them.

Be attractive, don't be unnatractive.

Be the Oak.

And quit being the faggot who worries about his woman every time she goes on a night out.

Do all those things and you will have done pretty much all you can do to raise your daughter sucessfully.

Iammrp2 · 2019-10-03T11:16:29+00:00

1 years old and already worrying about teenager years? Your job right now is to keep the kid alive so she makes it that far. Kids are fucking stupid. I preach the dangers of cars every time we go to the store. I'm afraid one of them will break from my hand and run off and get hit. It just takes a second.

1 years old. Right now just feed her. Play with her. Make sure you stick to a bed time and nap schedule. I don't know. My kids haven't been that age for a while. My wife did buy me a new dad book but like the faggot I was I didn't read it.

Your influence as a parent is from birth to age 13 or so. Once they hit teenage years their peers are a much larger influence. The only thing you can do to influence them at that point is to choose their peers by choosing where you live.

Besides that take her out on daddy daughter dates when she gets older. My little girl done a 180. She was a mommas girl and after I did that she was a daddy's girl. Loved it.

Good luck.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-10-03T11:45:14+00:00

Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Charlie Fay is fantastic.

If your daughter feels lots of love from her father, then she doesn't have to seek external validation as much. If she has structure in rules that are fair and consistent, then she will feel more secure. This lays a good foundation for her.

mrpmonk · 2019-10-03T06:16:43+00:00

Helen Andelin was the one who led me to red pill by discovering the truth about sexuality through my reading of Fascinating Womanhood. She wrote a little bit about raising kids there. Hence she's a great author, I'd suggest her other book without reading it, but blindly confident in the content:

All About Raising Children

becoming_alpha · 2019-10-03T14:44:53+00:00

SBIII nailed it on who you need to be to raise your daughter correctly. Now to the specifics. One of Jordan Peterson's rules for life is to not let your kids to anything that makes you dislike them. That's another way of looking at setting boundaries and sticking to them. Be consistent in your enforcement of boundaries and your kids will respect you and your boundaries.

If you haven't already done this, make an agreement with your wife that you'll back each other up on decisions and consequences with the kids. Your wife may not be perfect with this, but you should try to get on the same page. If my kids want to really get in trouble they ask me something, then they go ask mom if they don't like that answer. This has happened exactly once in the last 5 years or so. My wife backed up what I said after she saw the kids were trying to game the system, and they had serious consequences. Lying also gets heavy consequences.

capn_barnacles · 2019-10-03T19:57:19+00:00

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker is a pretty good read, and generally consistent with the teachings here.

RicoDunne · 2019-10-03T10:10:10+00:00

Set boundaries and set expectations for your kids. Boundaries are the house rules - what type of behavior is acceptable and what is not. Never tolerate disrespect and likewise don't disrespect or belittle your kids. Other boundaries- household chores that are age appropriate. Expectations; set goals for their behavior and actions. Doing well in school and applying themselves as best they can. Staying physically fit and athletic. Don't set unrealistic goals. Talk about marriage and motherhood. My girls know that I expect them to be good wives and to have children in the context of a healthy marriage as that's best for kids.

Boundary violations need to be met with counseling and punishment fitting the infraction. For young kids "time-out" is usually sufficient.

Expectations not being met are different. Expectations are goals and not everyone can met your goals or have your motivation, but they still have to be there as a target to work towards. If you don't help frame these, then social media and peers will.

Lastly, maintaining a strong frame and communication with your kids is vital. Kids listen to those they respect. Rebellion is often a sign of poor communication with parents, lack of frame, or a lack of respect.

ChossWrestler · 2019-10-03T15:01:52+00:00

Not specifically for daughters, but I highly recommend Dan Siegel's books. Parenting from the inside out, whole brain child, and no drama discipline are excellent.

rocknrollchuck · 2019-10-03T16:07:11+00:00

There are some articles in this comment thread that you will find useful as far as practical advice for raising children. It's made a huge difference for me.

RStonePT · 2019-10-03T16:56:18+00:00

Define correctly.

What does that look like in 18 yeard

SorcererKing · 2019-10-04T13:43:42+00:00

Why were you such a hellion as a kid?

ManguZa · 2019-10-03T06:45:30+00:00

Stefan Molyneux talk about education sometimes. Quite a good talker.

Title	How to raise a daughter successfully
Author	IATAsshole
Upvotes	16
Comments	30
Date	October 3, 2019 5:55 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dcmr0o/how_to_raise_a_daughter_successfully/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-to-raise-a-daughter-successfully.288362 https://theredarchive.com/post/288362

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