In YOUR experience, what small, simple changes / mindset shifts created the quickest results in your marriage?

anonymous50002 · 2023-12-31T04:28:04+00:00

Shutting the f up. I used to have one-liners and passive aggressive shit to say about everything. I used to repeat myself, ask follow ups for validation, make sure the person understood what I was saying which just annoyed them. I would DEER everything and correct my wife over every little thing - “no actually I meant this” “I think you meant to say xyz instead.”

Once I learned to speak with intention, purpose, restraint, in a deeper voice, calmly, and being way more selective in what I even responded to or spoke about, people started behaving differently - not just my wife but also family, friends and especially my toddlers.

Burneraccountzzzzzz · 2023-12-31T05:41:52+00:00

doctors hate this one simple trick

established_1991 · 2023-12-31T08:13:36+00:00

Lift, STFU, Sidebar.

Also being mindful of DEER, read MMSLP, fix her Feels, internalize Captain and First Officer mindset.

Helpful post for “Fix her feelz” method: Don’t Fix Her Problem….

Especially effective for me when she’s got an attitude about some bullshit. Can’t take any of it seriously when a playful “shut your cute ass up” or “get your grumpy ass over here” followed by a hug or kiss can shift the conversation to a positive direction. Calibration obviously required based on what she has an attitude about.

When she’s actually upset about something, I’m just listening and understanding. Providing comfort when needed.

COMoparfan392 · 2023-12-31T08:28:02+00:00

Killing my oneitis. It wasn't a small task though. Took about 4 weeks to completely get that bs out of my system but once I did I was so freed mentally to focus on myself instead of my wife. But also stfu as others have said.

RipChemical7496 · 2023-12-31T12:26:37+00:00

Being on the verge of walking out and actually recognizing the ioi's that I was getting

Meteor1x · 2023-12-31T13:53:51+00:00

Going on with my life thinking she’s dead

hopeunseen · 2023-12-31T04:15:26+00:00

In my own marriage one of the QUICKEST short term wins was in the bedroom. Applying principals inside of Sex God Method, being more assertive / dominant and not asking for sex led to an IMMEDIATE increase in the quantity and quality of sex.

It by no means fixed the long term and fundamentals, but it was a quick win that encouraged me to keep going

Indubious1 · 2023-12-31T15:48:10+00:00

In regards to handling your business within the relationship, you’ll come across a lot of things that need to be done and/or tough choices that need made.

When it comes to the choices, just make one. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right choice, just make it the best choice. Learn from the results of that choice. Adapt.

When it comes to getting things done, just do them. Not everyone wants to do the things that suck, but they need done. Don’t allow it to be a choice.

2wo2wo3hree · 2023-12-31T05:16:56+00:00

This is not a post searching for a magic pill or a way to avoid doing the work.

-But it is… it’s exactly what this shit is. Otherwise, what the fuck are you here for… A chit chat?

cpl1979 · 2023-12-31T16:10:50+00:00

Don't let little shit bother you. Someone gets sick; oh well people get sick. Wife's in a bad mood oh well if it's my fault she'll let me know if it's not we can talk about it or not. Just be happy I guess god's got it.

Smuggler-Tuek · 2023-12-31T17:05:44+00:00

Act like in 5 years you won’t know a single person you currently do.

yankees9888 · 2023-12-31T17:28:16+00:00

I've recently embraced red pill the past few weeks, and have focused on just two things: STFU and lifting daily. The impact these have had on my wife has been insane – daily compliments on my arms, newfound confidence, my wife walking around naked in front of me trying to seduce me, and even surprisingly her initiating doggy style which she NEVER does. It's crazy and frankly a little scary how these adjustments can bring about such radical shifts.

Ravensphere007 · 2023-12-31T18:13:29+00:00

STFU is the biggest one for me. Sure sidebar gives you the tools, but STFU is the real test.

Title	In YOUR experience, what small, simple changes / mindset shifts created the quickest results in your marriage?
Author	hopeunseen
Upvotes	15
Comments	18
Date	December 31, 2023 4:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/18uz0l4/in_your_experience_what_small_simple_changes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/in-your-experience-what-small-simple-changes.1241938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241938

Comments