Insecurity / Self Loathing

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-09-07T18:13:51+00:00

Therapy.

More therapy.

Then round it out with some additional therapy...just in case.

Countpudyoola · 2016-09-07T20:35:57+00:00

I like unconventional approaches. And in the end they make sense to my little brain.

You are a big , semi evolved shit flinging monkey on a speck of dust that can be taken out by universal indifference in a matter of seconds.

No matter how much you're worth...you still mathematically are netting a big whopping worthless.

Even time will erase your accomplishments if it wishes.

Start there. You are worth ONLY false temporary value. So just concentrate on enjoying life, and bringing enjoyment to those who do likewise for you.

Big giant fuck-a-duck to everybody else.

Feeling worthless in a sea of worthless people is one of life's big pranks. Laugh along with it.

Of course it doesn't help if you have some old family or growing up peers baggage that is tied into this. But you can move past it. If you shut out their voices. And it is theirs. Don't own them.

If not, then fuck off you worthless piece of shit!

Sincerely,

Another worthless piece of shit

PS: I could be very unpopular indeed on most RP arenas by putting out the following:

I work as much as want.

As hard as I want.

And define my own worth in relation to what I want and enjoy the fuck out of every second.

I'm not 10% body fat ...my abs will probably always remain a mystery. Although if I wanted to I could probably see them in a couple of months.

I drink.

I smoke cigars once to twice a week.

I eat what I want most of the time.

I only want to fuck once a week. Really. (and my test numbers are fine)

Prefer handjobs over BJs.

Not really CAREER DRIVEN.

BUT I really

.....REALLY......

AM 100% IN MY MAP.

MAKE YOUR OWN WORTH.

But really, stop caring about it so much that it affects your self confidence.

You'll meet the fittest,richest people, having routine sex who are miserable as fuck.

I have at any rate.

They, along with the Dalai Llama types , helped me realize you need to find your happiness where you're at.

It's fine to try to increase it from there. But you always have a baseline. That's what you want to push up. Your baseline contentment which is more sustainable and stable that extreme highs or lows.

I'm a content motherfucker.

** note this is the opinion of countpudyoola inc and does not represent the rp community , mrp community , or probably guys like reddreadwolverine. **

Also, you could have a clinical condition. Meds may help.

Good luck, NEWMAN!

BluepillProfessor · 2016-09-07T18:20:39+00:00

how do I perceived myself differently!?

When you actually change yourself you have no choice but to perceive yourself differently.

This is nothing more exotic than textbook depression.

bornredd · 2016-09-07T18:41:10+00:00

Find the source of your insecurity and kill it with fire (metaphorically).

I've been doing this TRP/MRP thing for awhile now. I started reading about 2 years ago and implementing about 1 year ago. I didn't really grasp my insecurity and what it was doing to my behavior until very recently.

I did this:

Speak your wants out loud to yourself. Not the wants you "should" have. Not the wants you want to have. Your actual desires. Be honest with yourself. Do it alone. If you can't do this yet, then you have more work to do in getting to know yourself. If you can, acknowledge your wants and desires. Maybe not follow through (it would be bad if I cheated on my wife even if I want to), but at least accept what you want.

In the process of doing this, you'll find that there are things you want that you can't say to others. Maybe it's fear of rejection, or your lifestyle doesn't match up to what you really long for. Maybe it's something else. Chances are, your insecurity root is related to that. Keep digging, you'll find it.

Once you find it, it begins to melt away. Everytime you catch yourself denying your wants due to that insecurity, you chip away a little more until one day... you're not insecure any more.

freshona · 2016-09-07T19:10:04+00:00

Don't lie to others. Next you won't lie to yourself. You won't need to, you'll know your worth and it won't need lies to prop it up. Or down, seeing how you've "objectively acknowledged" that you're worthless.

This means not unfairly moping and berating yourself. It's fine to own up to shit you failed at, but making mountains out of them, no.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-09-07T19:17:48+00:00

How do you feel about marijuana?

sh0ckley · 2016-09-07T19:27:50+00:00

"6 Pillars Of Self Esteem" by Nathaniel Brandon.

CBT/Parts Therapy. I fucking hated it but it helped.

Spiritual beliefs. God. Buddhism. Atheism. Investigate them all and take what works.

Maybe these: "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron "Sacred Path Of The Warrior" Choyum Trungpa "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-09-07T20:21:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FireTempered · 2016-09-07T21:03:35+00:00

If you are describing yourself accurately, I can honestly say that I have never known anyone, that is living, that has ZERO self worth, is self loathing, and is so completely clear and certain of their self appraisal.

You are so certain of your insecurities that you nuked a marriage. You claim to be in excellent shape physically, but mentally low, fearful and seemingly hopelessly so with the "totally objectively acknowledge that I am worthless"…..

There is nothing you describe that should be part of a sub that is about self-help. We often spend time trying to reel in the ego of OP's in order to get them to do the hard work of admitting, then working on themselves. You come here with all ego deflated to start with.

There are so many things in your post that are just not seen here. I can only assume that you are being honest in your post. Therefore……

Therapy. Lots of therapy, then see u/sexyshoulderdevil post.

anythinginc · 2016-09-07T22:07:09+00:00

The PUA community is big on phenibut, supposedly easy and safe to use, a nootropic, just like caffeine, that you can essentially always be on.

screechhater · 2016-09-08T02:11:54+00:00

Try volunteering to teach reading. You would be shocked the return value. Your insecurities mean nothing to the other, yet words of encouragement and the excitement of another eclipsing a barrier is more fulfilling than what you can imagine.

"You work hard and then become a worthy guy, etc. Other people start to perceive you differently... but how do I perceived myself differently!?"

When you come the realization that value is others perception, but in the reality of one's mind. Read about Plato's Cave

redearththeory · 2016-09-08T02:50:56+00:00

We all came here feeling insecure. We found MRP because major areas of our lives were failing. So I think we can all relate to how you feel.

A few questions.

1) What do you think would make you worthy in your own eyes? If you had more money? Women? If god gave you a certificate of worth?

2) What have you chased (money, women, prestige?) trying to become worthy in your own eyes?

3) Have you always been this way?

Motherfluckenstud · 2016-09-08T11:05:21+00:00

Do you think something from your childhood may have attributed to this? One thing that has helped me is to go back in my mind and have conversations with my inner child as the adult I am today.

You can go back in time to a particular point and tell your past child things you would want him to know. Go back to that point in time that may have caused your insecurities. Tell him that you will always protect him. You have and always will look out for that inner child. That inner child is still inside you. Talk to him and reassure him that he is very valuable and can do anything he sets his mind to.

I have some insecurities also that I can pin point the were caused from certain events my childhood. I deal with those by being that reassuring power figure for my inner child.

Chump_No_More · 2016-09-08T17:49:05+00:00

I agree with the others that you are severely depressed and need to find a good therapist.

Dr. M. Scott Peck, in 'The Road Less Traveled', describes depression (paraphrasing) as a dissonance between what we believe and what we do. We develop 'coping strategies' for and buffers against the dissonance but we eventually become psychologically exhausted and depression sets in.

Your dissonance is the contrast between the essential intrinsic value we all have as human beings and your skewed, harsh perception of that value. And , as a result, your 'Self Bank'... self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love... has gone bankrupt.

How do you get your Self Bank ledger back in the black? By following a path of self-improvement. By becoming a 0.01% better man everyday. By truthfully seeing 'failures' and redirecting as improvement. By acknowledging (and briefly celebrating) your successes and quickly moving to the 'next thing'. By divesting your 'self' into multiple investments so one setback doesn't wipe you out. By fiercely challenging your perception and definitions of value and worth and where they came from.

There are many paths to self-improvement. The Red Pill is one of them... I would argue a great one. At the risk of sounding over-dramatic, TRP truly saved my life, in every way possible.

Stick around, read the sidebar, post your progress in the /MRP sub 'Own Your Shit', and most importantly find a good therapist to be your 'training wheel's until you're able to follow your path on your own.

I would also suggest reading "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" by Kamal Ravikant. It's a quick read and may give you some needed insight.

EDIT: Typos

YesIDoLiftBro · 2016-09-09T23:03:35+00:00

Have you stopped to self-reflect on how you were raised? A therapist will help a lot but just for the sake of this community I'm wondering if you mind sharing your background a bit.

Title	Insecurity / Self Loathing
Author	NewmanWest
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	September 7, 2016 6:10 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/51mnkb/insecurity_self_loathing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/insecurity-self-loathing.207122 https://theredarchive.com/post/207122

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