Is this unattractive?

justpickanyusername · 2018-11-13T18:35:18+00:00

Your spidey sense is already tingling and trying to tell you the right answer here. You should listen to it.

RedPillCoach · 2018-11-13T18:42:19+00:00

Another guy unable to swat away his Beta Shit Goblin.

These beta traits I show. Can they become a negative thing

MRP concepts are not like an individual prescription or a set of rules written in granite. They are a set of ideas that other men have found useful. YOU pick, choose, and implement the ideas that may improve your marriage and relationships.

So yes, Beta traits can become a bad thing IF YOUR ALPHA DROPS TO LOW.

I have an Alpha dude client with a cheating heart who has been caught in infidelity many times. He is a professional boxer with game and could walk into a bar and pull a 20 something fresh one right off the lot and take it for a spin before putting it away well used and soaking wet. He doesn't need to worry about going too "Beta" with his wife because his "Alpha" cred makes up for it. Adding "Beta" is the way for him to deepen blah blah his relationship.

I have another client who is in a sexless, 20 year marriage who has not been laid in over 3-years. Believe it or not, HIS solution is also to increase the Beta- but he also needs more Alpha. He is a wimp AND an emotionally clueless putz (yes, when I call myself The Red Pill Coach I am serious). So his solution is to be both more aloof AND more attentive. How to pull that off? Level 3- get busy. When you are home you are attentive and loving, but you are away most of the time & it increases your Alpha cred (in her mind). Free Tip of the day: If you are away doing Alpha stuff then it actually increases your Alpha!

I also talk to her A lot. About how I feel. And how I want the relationship to go (direction). I probably talk too much. I need to talk less. But I also do act not just talk.

My Grammy once told me "you have 2 ears and only 1 mouth so you should always LISTEN twice as much as you talk" (The joke was on Grammy because she forgot I am deaf in one ear).

Action Not Words is important doctrine but listening and observation informs Action. A hunter stalking an animal doesn't go charging into a conversation but carefully listens to the content, observes the behaviors, and naturally tunes himself to the ebb and flow of his prey.

Countpudyoola · 2018-11-13T18:49:46+00:00

"NO BRO, YOU NEED TO STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW AND GO ALL RAMBO ON HER!"

Slow sarcastic clap.

Hi askMrp, I don't have a problem ...is this humblebrag a problem? I'm going to outline all the things you strive for...then list out all of the things you say doing will stop the good things that aren't having a negative effect.

You're either lying, a troll or over-analyzing.

If the last..I hope your keep the internal second guessing to yourself.

People who try to fix unbroken things end up breaking them.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-11-13T18:45:33+00:00

Commitment is the red laser dot and she is the cat. Keep it moving or she will look for something or someone else to do. This means talk less, especially shut up about commitment and the direction of the relationship, that is her job to catch/trap/trick you into buying the cow. Pretty obvious you are developing oneitis, and you can't let her know it. Be more mysterious and challenging or else she will get bored with you just like a cat when the dot stops moving.

nantucketghost · 2018-11-13T18:31:39+00:00

You're fine. As long as you have a line that you won't cross / let her cross and she knows it.

Even in the Athol Kay book: http://marriedmansexlife.com/books/primer/

He talks about needing to know when to have that balance. Some nights is loving sex - other nights you fuck the shit out of her. It's a balance and there is no right answer, just know your relationship.

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-11-13T20:29:30+00:00

I also talk to her A lot. About how I feel

There's a fine line between being open and honest with your partner and emoting like a woman, and I do believe there's a time component to that which you pick up on. You realize it's fresh now, but when familiarity settles in talking about your feelz will be nothing more than you emoting like a woman. If she wanted to date a woman, she'd date a woman. Are you a woman?

I probably talk too much. I need to talk less.

Right answer. Don't become a mute, obviously, but don't make her your emotional tampon.

Read about the power of STFU and keep that handy.

youscum · 2018-11-13T19:42:09+00:00

We are very new still in the relationship

This is why your oneitis hasn't hurt you yet. She is too high off her brain juice (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins) to be able to recognize your faggotry for what it really is. Once she builds a tolerance to you, as one does when exposed to a drug over a long enough period of time, she will get bored and lose attraction and begin to resent you.

man_in_the_world · 2018-11-13T20:03:19+00:00

It's about how you talk, not whether you talk.

Expressing emotions is good, if you can express them like a man. We tell newbies here to STFU because most can't talk like a man.

mindfulbutgutless · 2018-11-13T18:49:14+00:00

I have yet to see a negative effect yet bc of it but again I realize it’s fresh.

keep doing what you are doing and you will be asking, "What am I doing wrong?" in just a couple of weeks.

Is this the same chick you were looking to demote a couple of weeks back?

Sepean · 2018-11-13T20:18:03+00:00

I’m firm when I have to be. I laid out boundaries right from the get go.

Doesn’t matter. If you’re not alpha, she’ll shit all over you and your boundaries.

I will address any problems if they arise. I lead. I plan. I own my shit. I take care of everything. I set goals. I crush them

That’s great beta values, but you also need to bring alpha.

I am very loving to her. I’m very attentive. I tell her I love her a lot and I miss her when I do. I 100% do this because I want to

And what do you do when she begins if your attentiveness can used you to jump through her hoops? What when she begins leveraging your longing for her by withdrawing affection unless you do what she wants?

And why are you so needy? Do you think she thinks it’s sexy that you’re needy?

I also talk to her A lot. About how I feel. And how I want the relationship to go (direction). I probably talk too much. I need to talk less

You know you talk too much. The question is, why do you talk too much? The answer is probably something very unattractive like insecurities or need for validation.

In short, you got issues and you’re bringing close to zero alpha. Try to bring your issues under control at least enough that you don’t have to bawl your heart out and that you don’t let your neediness bleed into your behavior, and all the beta shit you mentioned in this post, you need to be able to give at least as much alpha.

martyrothenburg · 2018-11-13T22:25:46+00:00

Look. This sub is full of men who married awful women and they have each other convinced that AWALT.

It's more accurate to say that AW(that are like the wives of the men in this sub) ALT.

I've often compared it to a battered women's support group. Those women are going to claim that all men will eventually beat the shit out of you, and these are the destructive things you need to do to protect yourself.

I stumbled upon MRP by accident and it really rang true to me. However, my wife is nothing like the wives that are described here. While the self improvement aspects were gold and I was able to deprogram myself from a lot of my own behaviors, I never had to implement some of the more drastic MRP ideas. And my marriage is great.

MRP is a toolkit. Use what works and leave what doesn't. If you and your wife's dynamic is one of smoochy lovey dovey romance, go with it!

-Acta-Non-Verba- · 2018-11-14T04:21:50+00:00

Women's ideal man is very alpha, AND beta. I call them Achievement virtues and Bonding virtues. If you have both, you are so much better. An Achiever with no heart is a jerk. All bonding and no achievement is a wimp. Together, you are the whole package, and every woman's dream.

framelessglasses · 2018-11-19T04:18:02+00:00

Too much beta works, until it doesn't.

When it quits working, you will not understand it, because it's working now. Then you will do more beta, thinking it will improve, because it worked before, and, it will get worse.

If you weren't such a lazy fuck, you would read the stories of all the men that came here before you, and, you would already know this.

friendandadvisor · 2018-12-09T09:17:00+00:00

Wait till your 4th week with her.

You have left buried in this that 'you're still very new to the relationship'. Don't tell us about your 'honeymoon period'.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-11-13T18:20:05+00:00

So after you get laid, you become her gay best friend?

Faggot.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-11-13T18:39:11+00:00

Sounds like a chick wrote this. Troll.

Title	Is this unattractive?
Author	martyrothenburg
Upvotes	3
Comments	47
Date	November 13, 2018 6:11 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9wrhkm/is_this_unattractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/is-this-unattractive.203793 https://theredarchive.com/post/203793

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