34M/34F, LTR of 8 years, 11 mo kid. Woke up to a decayed relationship a few months ago and promptly swallowed the pill. Lifting, reading, started the process. Her desire is pretty much gone and without the kid I'm sure she would walk. She's a SAHM at least until the end of the year. Sex has been revived, nothing especially passionate. Still very much in her frame, she knows I'm motivated for the relationship. Trying to build attraction according to MAP. Don't know how to work around that, with a baby in the house I really have don't much time just doing my own stuff / being busy.

I've been physically more affectionate, doing kino, but a few weeks ago she told me that she doesn't want me initiating touching her all the time, wants it happen according to her and her feelz. There are days that she doesn't touch me at all. There are days that she's very distant and cold. Other days she's more mentally there. What puzzles me is that she talks about long term future stuff almost daily, like painting the windowframes during my holiday, about areas that we should consider moving to in the future etc. I feel that she's sincere in these talks and that she isn't planning on imminent separation. But her actions are pretty much contradictory. Are the talks all smoke and mirrors? Is the medium the message here? Should I just continue doing my thing and see where this is going? Or have the talk sooner? I'm thinking she might be planning on separation in the end of the year once she's supposed to continue working and this is just buying time.