Been part of this community a very long time ago and my life has been on a good track. Beat addiction. Got a great career. Have a son. Gym 6 days a week and started running every day. The main thing I need to work on is my anger. And it’s been a while so I may need a refresher on somethings.

I will give an example of what happened to me the other day and see if you have any advice to get a grip on this.

I work from home a lot my wife works 2 days a week so she’s home with the kids all week. She does cook me breakfast and do the laundry. But other than that a lot of the house hold task that can be getting done during this time fall behind to the point I hired a cleaning lady to take care of it.

It’s to the point I should be working and I am taking care of the house hold tasks (feeding the chicken. At times my son will come up pounding on the door while I’m working on a phone call and he’ll need to be changed and she’ll be on her phone somewhere).

If I say anything I am met with attitude and it will start a fight. I have not found any way to express my needs without her taking offense.

I come downstairs after work to a fucking disaster. And she had to leave. I’ve already expressed my want for a clean kitchen. When she comes home from work the house is immaculate and truly it takes me 30 mins to do. It’s not that hard.

Yet if I mention anything. She will say she did the laundry and flip out. The tasks she gets done in an 8 hour period can be done in 1 hour.

I went for a run the one morning. she worked her two days so I cut my run short to make sure I was back to take care of our son so she can sleep in. When I get back she was up and was upset I didn’t bring her coffee. I asked her. “Would you like me to make you a coffee?” She said “no it’s okay I don’t like to have to ask”

Which pissed me off but I STFU. I cleaned the kitchen and she starts leaving shit all over it. And I STFU. then she has the balls to say. “It’s annoying how I make you breakfast every morning and you can’t even bring me a coffee.” As well as ask me if I can put my bowl I had soaking in the sink in the dish washer.

I fucking lose it. Start saying how I clean the whole house while she doesn’t do a thing during the week. The least she can do is make me breakfast to help me out during work hours. Since I’m doing half the shit anyway. That I was going to let her sleep in and took care of most of the shit she was supposed to do already. And she turns into a toddler over a coffee.

She says how she moved some rocks outside the one day and I dont appreciate that. (No one told her to move these fucking rocks. It’s mid winter we don’t need rocks moved and the house is a fucking mess and I’m paying for a maid. So it’s retarded to be moving rocks. Clean the fucking house.)

We then had company come over today. And I was cleaning. Again she was leaving dishes out. I go upstairs she’s on her phone.

She asks do I need her to do anything before she goes to work. I said just clean up your stuff downstairs. She stomps downstairs is banging the glasses. Slamming cabinets. I said “you’re upset that I asked you to clean up..” She said no I’m just running late.

I immediately wanted to say. Well then maybe get off your fucking phone.

I do not understand how you guys STFU in these situations. I have such a hard time letting this shit not only slide but then dealing with her being pissed off at me when she’s the lazy one. Her mindset/logic is sooo insanely irrational I can not come to terms with her thinking how she things. I always feel the need to make her understand how stupid her thinking is. And that she has no place to be pissed off at anything. I’m the one who should be pissed. But I STFU until it builds and I explode.

I tried to go for a run when I’m about to flip out. But I end up just stewing over more she does that pisses me off and then go home and go off.

I realize there’s a lot of covert contracts here. But I am finding a hard time trying to STFU. My body literally feels like it’s going to explode if I don’t get this off my chest. How can I fix this???