Read NMMNG x2, re reading WISNIFG. Rational male. MMSLP. MAP. And tons of post on here. Working out 5-6 days a week. Been lifting for years even before RP. Fitness is my strongest point. Sex is frequent.

Anyway been STFU because I talk too Much and Every time I open my mouth I get into huge logical vs emotional arguments.

I still find my wife pressuring me into a corner looking for responses when I STFU. And my mind goes to all the shit I’ve been reading. I panic and I either say something fucking stupid. Or sit there like an autistic. I have a lot of work to do. The most pathetic part is I been reading this stuff for way longer than I’d like to admit. And still don’t know how to respond.

We have kids. The relationship has become boring as fuck. Im trying to be more fun because I am climbing my way out of the anger phase. Where every move my wife does pisses me off.

I started by planning a day out for us today because we never do anything anymore since the kid was Born (18 months and a 9 year old) my fault. Also on the way we were going to drop one of our cars off to get worked on. This is the only day we could do it. Earlier in the day she gets a phone call. It’s her work saying she has to come into work that they are swamped. I hear her go “alright I’ll be right in”

There was no discussion with me. There was no “sorry about our plans but I need to do this”. She jumped up. Got ready. Said I love you and left. She’s the manager. So she could have probably got someone to come in if she wanted but maybe not. That’s not my industry.

Not to mention. If I had to work for an hour late even on a day We didn’t have anything planned it would of been this huge deal. I’m noticing the covert contract here but it’s still annoying.

I STFU though and tried to think before I reacted.

One side of me thought this is bad behavior. She should have at least brought it up, and had respect for our plans before running off.

Another part of me said. Is this really disrespectful or am I making a big deal out of nothing? It’s not like working last minute is something really fun for anyone.

Another side of me thought. Shit happens. Whatever just let it go and do something better for yourself. And remove my attention when she comes back.

And then the last side of me thought. Maybe I should be the oak. When she gets home. I should have something fun for us to do here and roll with the punches.

But then my mind said. We’ll you’re rewarding bad behavior then aren’t you, no respect for my time or what I had planned to even run it by me, not to Mention now the car isn’t going to get dropped off? But shit happens doesn’t it? How would you want to be treated in that situation? But that’s a covert contract. I want to be respected and this doesn’t feel respectful. Set a boundary. But maybe I am being ridiculous for getting upset over this? What am I supposed to let slide? I am so fucking lost in my head, and have these battles constantly when it comes to the readings. I am all over the fucking place. I read and read and read but have the hardest time internalizing it to fit my situation.

I have high SMV (fitness. Looks. Game. Dress. Hobbies. Friends. Etc) but I have nice guy behaviors out the ass. So there’s this constant conflict. With situations where idk if I should be STFU. Fogging. AA. Or giving comfort. Leading the team by example or stop rewarding bad behavior.

Am I cleaning this messy house up because I’m a man who doesn’t live in slop. Or am I enabling bad behavior of people leaving their shit out?

Am I throwing trash my wife left out in the garbage because I am leading by example of how we help each other out and work as a team to sail this ship. Or am I putting all the trash she leaves in one big pile to show her she’s not playing her part. And I’m not going to be her maid?

This is where I get confused

Has anyone been here. Any advice for moving past this?