Need help [x-post from /r/marriedredpill]

2ndal · 2018-05-20T12:37:41+00:00

First, don't come in here and tell us how to give you advice. Learn how to take advice. Ask your question, shut the fuck up, and listen.

Second, "stop acting like such a pussy" gets tossed around because it is actually the best advice for the faggots who come in here asking questions. This includes you.

So, stop acting like such a pussy. You're committed to your relationship with your shitty wife for reasons. Great. Now own it. Quit bitching about it, quit making excuses. You're in this for life for your own reasons and nobody is going to convince you otherwise. You're unhappy. Great. Get that out of your system. Done. Let's move on.

I literally did not even read your full paragraph of back-and-forth between your wife because it literally does not matter. Quit caring so much about what your wife says or does and live your own fucking life on your own terms. Have a vision for your life. Design it. It sounds like your wife has a role in that life. Okay great. Then start living in accordance with that vision. Just stop complaining, stop feeling sorry for yourself because you're not happy. Not being happy is your choice, so own it and fix it. You put yourself in this situation, nobody else. It's not your wife's fault, it's your fault for being such a pussy and tolerating it all these years. Your shitty relationship is your own doing. But the good news is you can fix it the same way you fucked it up originally. You just have to care enough to do it.

BobbyPeru · 2018-05-20T13:17:09+00:00

My wife claims I was flirting with her, which is fucking ridiculous

Mistake 1: DEERing

I kept saying I wasn't while she claimed I was.

Mistake 2: failure to create dread, and lack of leadership. It pissed her off because she see you as beta and if this other girl knew you.... basically, this is not dread, but contempt. Contempt is the result of your failure to lead and have a strong frame.

Mistake 3: showing butthurt and no frame

Just as I suspected in mistake 2

I could walk away from our marriage and she wouldn't give a fuck. In theory. She'd have to give somewhat of a fuck because I'm the sole earner for the family.

You are correct in your assumption- she doesn’t give a fuck. I suspect she has a branch swing lined up already. As far as you being B.B., she could probably divorce rape you if you are the earner, and she knows it.

You haven’t read much sidebar - it’s obvious. You are a pussy with no frame and no self respect. If you had any balls and did your readings, the words “the door is there there” should have automatically come out of your mouth.

Bad news or perhaps good news: I think she might take the door option.

Here are your options:

1) STFU - quit DEERing and making your situation worse. Lift, sidebar, get a social life, and become awesome

2) Show her where the door is and do (1) still

You didn’t provide age, height, weight, lift numbers. Staring to see a 6 pack means nothing. You are not attractive to her, mostly because your weak-ass frame, but I suspect physically too.

Quit Giving so many fucks, and get to work

matrixtospartanatLV · 2018-05-20T22:51:31+00:00

“Lighten up, PUSSY.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0OnpkDWbeJs

This keyboard warrior divorced a cunt bitch with four kids and got custody of two of them. Along the way I’ve buried both my parents, one of my sons, and am now divorcing my second wife because she is a lying, cheating whore.

So if you don’t want my advice, filter it and fuck off. Your preselection criteria will limit the overall quality and quantity of advice that you get. Don’t be the asshole (pussy full of shit) who shows up to a boxing gym and tells the trainer you want to learn to box, but you don’t want to be hit or hurt. Don’t be a pussy and you won’t get called a pussy.

“Have settled on the right amount of dread to establish some equilibrium, etc.”

Just exactly what IS that elusive, ‘etc.’?

And how IS settling on that ‘right amount of dread’ working out for you? Are you satisfied with the outcome of the fight? Is the amount of dread you settled on for YOU? Or for HER? (It’s supposed to be for YOU to use on HER, not just make you feel good you did it...a little.)

I won’t call you a pussy again because I know you don’t like it, so how is your ‘right amount of dread’ working along with your AA and AM to keep from being a butthurt little bitch? I mean WE all know...but did you read your own post?

You married an alpha widow. Great. I’m guessing YOU aren’t the alpha. That means you are the beta bucks, right from eating that first piece of cake.

CONGRATULATIONS! Your Reddit mountain to climb is the tallest in all of Reddit nation.

You will not have the marriage you want until YOU are the most Alpha Chad your wife has ever fucked AND swallowed.

Now, I could go on for thousands more words and tear your post apart line by fucking line, but I won’t, because I think you get the point, faggot. (I didn’t say pussy)

And in case you missed it, the point is this:

Your marriage will be fucked up until you out-alpha and out-chad every other man before you.

Your 6-pack won’t be enough. You need a 12-pack. Maybe an entire fucking case.

Your combined lifts need to be +1000lbs.

Your BF<12%.

It won’t be enough to be Captain of your ship. She’s already fucked other Captains.

You need to be the Admiral of the entire fucking fleet.

I get that you have trapped yourself in your marriage because of your children. I respect that. What I DON’T respect is that coming out of your mouth, you sound like an excuse-making whiny little bitch. (I didn’t say pussy)

So what fucking changed? What about MRP has failed you? Could the answer be found somewhere in this?... “I’m somewhat redpilled but still a lot to learn.”

BUT...

“Just need some help. Not fluff, but not the ‘alpha up, faggot’ advice that sometimes gets tossed around here.”

Mary, mother of Jesus, peg me in the ass... Right out of the mouth of babes.

‘Alpha up, faggot’ is the EXACT advice you need, and you fucking know it.

So,...

Alpha up, faggot. (I didn’t say pussy)

Double down on MRP praxeology.

Stop ‘settling’ on dread.

Create your exit strategy: when the youngest turn 18/graduate?

Man the fuck up, grow a pair with hair, COMMIT to the program, put in the work, and stop being a beta bucks faggot whining little bitch.(I didn’t say pussy)

Quit your fucking sniveling and...

GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK!

PUSSY!!

But what the fuck do I know?

I’m just a keyboard warrior.

FireTempered · 2018-05-20T17:44:50+00:00

OP you need to calm yourself down better.

You get your nose out of joint from your wife's comments and start DEERING to your wife. Then you come here and get our nose out of joint over the good advice you get here.

There's a pattern, and, at least you are consistent. As long as you get riled up by your wife and this sub, you are not in charge of yourself. You can be and it shows that you want to, now dig in harder until you make it.

[deleted] · 2018-05-20T15:24:12+00:00

Re: Autism. Have you seen The Magic Pill?

slackbladerered · 2018-05-20T16:27:06+00:00

Should've just responded with "I can't help being sooooo attractive", cheeky grin, walk off. End of

idle135 · 2018-05-20T14:46:46+00:00

Why did you continue the stupid argument over the student. There’s no discussion here. ‘No I wasn’t’ then STFU. No more discussion about it. If she continues then leave for the time being. But it sounds like you were trying to provoke her so you get what you deserve.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2018-05-20T14:59:25+00:00

I haven't been happy in years.

And whose fault is that?

RedPillCoach · 2018-05-21T18:26:22+00:00

My wife claims I was flirting with her, which is fucking ridiculous. I kept saying I wasn't while she claimed I was. Finally she said, "Maybe because you don't know what flirting is is the reason you never got any action in high school."

Your wife WANTED you to be flirting with her. She WANTED to feel that her man is a strong, confident man with options but that he chooses to be with her. She doesn't want a thirsty, desperate man who is only staying with her because no other man would have her.

You had a golden opportunity to laugh, agree and amplify, and have fun with it. Instead you got butthurt.

This is a basic Shit Test and you DEER'd it bad. Read the sidebar and try again.

huh-art · 2018-05-20T12:36:29+00:00

Reposting my comment to get the ball rolling.

When you defended yourself against the flirting you took the bait.

DEERing destroys your frame as the authority of the house.

If you were in private, you could have gone with agree and amplify but if she is accusing you of flirting with students in front of people in public she is jepordizing your career. If you don't have the ability to leave then don't bring her next time.

The mean comments were just signs she doesn't respect you and wants to hurt you. Neither I would recommend enduring because I've been there and it doesn't get better. But if you're gonna stick it out while she has affairs and treats you like shit, better grow a thick skin.

thunderbeyond · 2018-05-20T12:47:10+00:00

I'm somewhat redpilled but still a lot to learn

Where exactly are you up to?

the right amount of dread to establish some equilibrium

I don't see how you've established the right amount of dread if you can't talk to a young girl in front of your wife. This was an easy one. You talk to the girl, your wife starts blowing up, and you lay it up with an easy AA or AM. Simple.

Finally she said, "Maybe because you don't know what flirting is is the reason you never got any action in high school." To me, that comment was only meant to hurt. And it did. I told her that comment was bullshit, but in retrospect, I wish I would have told her to just fuck off and walked away.

It escalated because you let it. You could have shut it down earlier and now you paid the price. What's worse is that her words are hurting you. And worse still, you wanted to tell her to fuck off and walk away? In your case, perhaps a literal application of STFU is warranted.

However, here's an occasion where you could have STFU quite easily and *again* tried to close this shitstorm down. But...

Later as the argument was actually kind of calming down, I continued to press

... and now you sound like my wife. What the fuck did you think you were doing?

I'm somewhat redpilled but still a lot to learn

You are lacking in the basic principles of MRP. Start reading. If you're not happy, then think about the parts of your life that you can change for the better - and start there. **After you've properly read the sidebar**

atlhart · 2018-05-20T14:21:11+00:00

Don't come in here and tell people to not call you a faggot or a pussy, and immediately insult people by calling them keyboard warriors. You know why we use such harsh language cause that's what losers need to hear to wake them up.

You are a pussy. You're not working for this. You're lazy. You think it should be easy. It's not easy. It's work. That's what. Sing an attractive male is. It takes just as much work to develop frame and maintain it as it takes to hit the 1000 lb club. You haven't internalized the sidebar. I doubt you've even read much of it. You're not putting the work in. You just want some other dude to tell you how to fix your problems instead of you putting he work in to fix them yourself.

The whole problem you're currently experiencing is all a result of living in your wife's frame. Do you even know what that means? Go sidebar again.

You're wife's shit was a huge fucking shit test. She completely dominated you. You failed so bad. I can't believe you think you're even partially red pill. You don't know shit. Do you know what a shit test is? Do you know how to pass one? Go sidebar again.

You're mistake was giving her any credibility by even responding to it, by even acknowledging that flirting with a student is something you need to defend against. You lost right there. STFU. Do you know what means and why to do it? Go sidebar some more.

Your wife is your Alpha. And it's especially intentional because you are her beta-bux. You're paying for her, so she has to keep you under her control. Everything she did was to subjugate you. To make you feel like a loser who can't actually do any better. Because she needs you to feel that way to keep her paid for.

Go sidebar again.

This shit is not hard. No ones situation is unique. We see the same shit in here every day. And all the answers are the sidebar. It's work to read the sidebar. The books. The articles. The top posts. It takes hours. Days. Weeks. Months. To properly internalize.

But it's obvious you aren't even trying to do that. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. Passing shit tests is RP 101.

ChadwickChadington · 2018-05-20T19:10:48+00:00

The whole flirting thing is because that's what any adult-younger-girl jovial interaction looks like to the outside world. There's no way to convince someone otherwise, so no need to argue about it. What's normal in a classroom is not normal to the rest of society. So simply accept remain aloof and uninterested in what your students do or say when other adults are around, or then accept most people will assume your flirting on some level, conscious or subconscious.

Obviously you can't do anything anything about this argument now. The right response would have been "damn, did that look like flirting? cause I'm super embarrassed if it did, thanks for calling me out on that; definitely don't want to be that kind of teacher".

Now, from what I read (which isn't much, so am shooting mostly in the dark in the event it is useful to you) the facts of the matter are that your wife is unhappy.

The whole "go ahead, leave me for another women" is a passive aggressive way of signalling A. she's not happy B. she's not going to do anything about that.

Instead of taking it as a "she hurt my feelings", take it as a challenge to lead your family to a better place.

You cannot convince someone to be happy, so it's unlikely that any discussion or debate with your wife will have any effect whatsoever.

However, being happy can affect / inspire other people to also be happy. Fortunately there's a simple two step program to increasing happiness:

Step 1: break negative cycles. Think of all the habits / outlooks you've built up that give a general negative vibe or lead to outright disasters.

Step 2: create positive cycles. What things create joy in your family, do them more. What new things for you personally, with your wife or as a family would create regular increased happiness.

This can be simple things like smiling more. I didn't used to be a smiley person, but I started working with a guy who simply smiled all the time and it was obviously makes everyone feel better and a better way to live. It can be more complicated things like weekend outings etc. However, anything "one-off" can easily backfire and only serve to contrast chronic problems, so my suggestion is to focus on regular things.

In my own marriage, what's become clear to me is that "arguments" simply emerge randomly when negative energy, or call it what you will, circulates above some threshold. Who's right or wrong about these arguments doesn't matter and sorting out exactly what happened etc. serves no purpose. The negative energy is underneath and negative events are simply the outlet of this energy; and depending on how you handle it will diffuse or reinforce the negative energy. Building up the positive energy is a full-day affair starting with the morning (the principle of reset works wonders here, as obviously if you carry yesterday's negative energy into the new day you're already in a depressing hole and so easy to say why-bother) and ends with going to sleep on a positive or negative note.

Instead of trying to build some rational plan, try to observe yourself throughout the day and spot where you're contributing negatively with even the subtlest facial expressions to omissions (not saying "good buy sweetie", not engaging creatively with your kids, etc.). Changing these habits will be first interpreted as sarcasm or irony etc. but simply power through and keep doing them.

Obviously, don't engage in any debates or justifications about the above, just add as much positive energy as possible and stop yourself from adding negative energy, just do nothing rather than react negatively.

All this can be done in literally a week.

If you genuinely feel you are being as positive as possible, I suggest the next step is to ask yourself what is missing in your wife's life. Simply banish the "alpha widow" thought from your mind, whether it's true or false it serves you no purpose, and try to think what you're wife's dreams are. Slowly engage and build these dreams into your life and plan. Likewise, what are her worries, try to address these worries through constructive decisions and actions.

223552 · 2018-05-21T04:21:06+00:00

I m not sure what you consider "redpilled", but you know little to nothing. Your "right amount of dread" is non-existent, based on your interaction wit your wife, if you were even at dread 1 , you would have passed that test with ease, and had some fun along the way. You made the most basic mistakes: you didnt STFU, you DEERed, you got butthurt, you are completely in your wife's frame, and you run at any sight of conflict.

You also have an ego issue. You dont want to be called a "pussy" because your fragile ego can't handle criticism. If you are still reading, and you want to get somewhere, you need to understand, that advice that hurts the most, is the one that will help you the most.

So what exactly do you need help with? Its too late to change the above situation. We could give you some advice on how you should have handled it, but you will fail the next shit test, because it will be in a different circumstances/context/topic.

Should you leave your wife, because you can't handle her pushing your buttons? Every single woman does that. " They give you shit, to make sure you are the shit" (from dante nero).

There are no quick fixes. --->> Sidebar. Read the books, lift, come here and read, and read, and read. It will take months or even years before things will start making sense. Until then you are a pussy.

Bedtimeshine · 2018-05-21T12:08:57+00:00

Yes bro divorce is that simple.

redwall92 · 2018-05-21T12:50:00+00:00

And I could tell, she pretty much meant it. I just thought, and said, "woah...where the fuck did that come from??" But later, it kind of hit me hard that she has such little amount of fucks that, at least in the heat of an argument, I could walk away from our marriage and she wouldn't give a fuck.

Words man. My wife or my daughters would take a hacksaw and cut off their right arm during an argument if things are escalating. Doesn't matter how stupid an action is, while those emotions are emoting ... all logic is off the table. And all words are allowed from that frame of mind.

Don't argue. Don't escalate. Words said are just a speed bump to where you want to go.

Give less fucks.

Persaeus · 2018-05-21T12:53:03+00:00

from our original exchange; and it comes out in your original post and comments your a sensitive pussy.

understand your wife (and all women) crave a man with a UNFLAPPABLE frame.

the sidebar, the iron, the work, embracing the suck and becoming vulnerable is the path.

still waiting for age, height, weight, lift numbers

The_Litz · 2018-05-21T14:54:46+00:00

Very basic mistake, which makes me question your claim of being 'redpilled'.

You DEER'ed, got into an argument and for good measure, kept at it to demote you from an aspirant captain in waiting to indentured cabin boy, and we all know what a buggering a cabin boy has to endure.

You are way to sensitive. Off hand comments like that should not ever throw you like that, unless of course, there is some base to the accusations.

So tell us Mr. Nabakov, is she standing too close to you?

mabden · 2018-05-21T19:10:33+00:00

> I kept saying I wasn't while she claimed I was

Stop DEERing

> I continued to press

STFU

> She'd have to give somewhat of a fuck because I'm the sole earner for the family.

Not really, the divorce rape will ensure you continue to support her.

> I haven't been happy in years

Only you can change that.

Your wife has no fucking respect for you. Respect is earned, as is disrespect.

trp_dude · 2018-05-22T00:53:47+00:00

"My wife claims I was flirting with her"

Right response: "I always flirt with by side pieces."

"Maybe because you don't know what flirting is is the reason you never got any action in high school."

Right response: "Exactly. And that's why I'm not getting any action now either."

You have no frame. Read. Lift.

Title	Need help [x-post from /r/marriedredpill]
Author	hash000000
Upvotes	0
Comments	24
Date	May 20, 2018 12:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8ks7xk/need_help_xpost_from_rmarriedredpill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/need-help-x-post-from-rmarriedredpill.204467 https://theredarchive.com/post/204467

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