Post-mortem analysis

pikadildo · 2017-01-20T23:48:33+00:00

Does that mean my value was high, but some super alpha just came along?

... You will never be the #1 alpha in the world (because that is Brad Pitt, or some pro athlete or something) - someone will always lift more, have more money, be more handsome, be more confident, etc.

BPP's reply is succinct--her cheating isn't your fault. There will always be some explanation why a person cheats. You have no control over your wife's or anyone else's attractions. We generally can't hold others accountable for their attractions. Actions are a different beast. She's responsible for the fallout of her actions and it's not your job to unburden her.

You may find this thread where u/mabden suggested reading Chump Lady helpful. I really liked her Real Remorse? Or Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse? article and in particular the post-nup suggestion in terms of setting standards.

In any case, it doesn't sound like your wife is even trying to check any of these remorse boxes.

Except for the fact that she didn't rub the affair in your face, I'd say this feels like a Please, Break up with me! situation. Maybe she's just having second thoughts about losing you as a beta bux, or maybe she's frozen like a deer in the headlights because she's waiting for you to throw her out or lay out your expectations for her penance. If she knows you are never going to forgive her, she's not going to waste her time. I say that because you laid out that you were known to be unforgiving when you met.

In any case I think your actions have been correct. Seek full situational awareness by consulting a lawyer and not playing your hand prematurely. Avoid becoming reactive and losing initiative.

bangorlol · 2017-01-20T19:15:28+00:00

Cheating on your spouse with a co-worker just means they ticked whatever boxes and were available - that's it. Most of the time that's how emotional affairs begin. Some dude got your wife coffee, listened to her bullshit, she got the tingles because it was something new and exciting and bad, fucked him for awhile, then it was ended. That's all you need to know.

Good on you for having the self-respect to file for divorce. As for your reflection on whether or not being in a relationship is the right thing to do from here on out, play it by ear. There's something fulfilling about being in a LTR with a solid partner, however most men give up a big part of themselves in doing so in the name of compromise. They start by giving commitment - not a big deal, right? Then they move on to acquiescing every whim of their lady so they're comfortable and happy - or sometimes just to skip the massive bitch fit that will inevitably ensue by not caving (women can be children). From here it's all down hill, so you really have to stick to your guns to maintain self respect. Keep them at an arms length emotionally, work on yourself, and make them chase you. When a woman feels like she's safe with you she'll start to walk all over you because you're weak. If you're weak, she'll resent you. If she resents you, she'll leave you (or just fuck other people since you bring in decent money).

tl;dr: park the cuck truck

BluepillProfessor · 2017-01-20T23:09:11+00:00

Does that mean my value was high, but some super alpha just came along?

Why do you think you did anything wrong? She is the one who cheated.

abdada · 2017-01-20T18:12:51+00:00

just to fuck random women until you are shriveled

This is the likely candidate. My dad -- a blind, bald, ugly, not fit Indian male is in his 70s and he's told me repeatedly not to marry again. Ever. He married my mom (who at the time was a 10/10 Polish blonde), divorced her, married his current wife who was 31 years younger than him (8/10) and now in his 70s he still has beautiful women coming on to him -- right in front of his wife, all the time. Women call him at home and she has to filter his calls. And he's blind and nearing the grave.

I will never marry again. I will always have a top plate I call my LTR because I prefer having a consistent date when I meet with high valued people and they bring their wives. I have a zero tolerance policy -- if she fails me, if the sex dries up, if she nags, I will immediately claim responsibility for my failure (in my brain, silently) and replace her with the next batter up.

I will never again "settle down" and only "climb up".

The noise from society to follow in their disgraceful depressing footsteps is just self hating people wanting to cut off tall poppies.

ex_addict_bro · 2017-01-20T23:25:22+00:00

Hi, divorced father of 3 here.

Does that mean my value was high, but some super alpha just came along?

He probably wasn't better, he was just different. Read "Practical female psychology".

You will never be the #1 alpha in the world

In the world? No. In my workplace? In my town? In this subreddit? I'll take my chance. Make this easier for me by giving up :)

BTW, Brad Pitt is divorcing.

fuck random women until you are shriveled

In last year, when I moved out, I thought about another LTR, another kid, new family. The more I think about this, the more I live, the more viable this option becomes ("fuck random women"). Read BlackDragon's blog.

BUT this is nothing you need to worry about now.

The deal is, now you need to divorce and either move out or move her out. She will try to rekindle with you, or this is going to look like it - don't fall for this (beta) trap.

accept infidelity is the ultimate beta move and something extremely difficult to recover from

Fucking married women after you get divorce helps. The moment they fuck you, they are bored with their husbands. Those guys aren't exactly worse, they're just more familiar.

And, one more thing, we don't matter that much. Woman's vagina collects sperm from various males, all this sperm, all those genes float freely in her body. Do you have any proof that having your kid with a virgin will make the kid more healthy? Why shouldn't it take 80% of your genes, then 5% of neighbour, 15% of your coworker - because, that's probably what's happening?

Everything floats. Give me 2-3 generations, our genes, our identity, electronic archive of this discussion, EVERYTHING WILL BE GONE. Our egos are more fake than we think. That's basically u/[deleted] 's philosophy that I adapted, but that's basically what's happening.

Your relationship with that one particular woman is done. There is nothing to salvage, nothing to recover. Divorce, lift, sidebar and welcome to MRP where we build better men and better relationships. Only with (sometimes) a different women.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-01-20T18:10:00+00:00

Let everyone know when you figure it out.

I'd say it's safe to consider this your victim puke.

Pinelero · 2017-01-20T20:20:00+00:00

Almost no remorse as she had already rationalized it as my fault for ignoring her.

Not a keeper.

No kids then get unhitched for sure.

Kids, then take some time to get unhitched safely.

constellationofsuns · 2017-01-25T17:54:49+00:00

You said it yourself. She didn't love you. She didn't love you because you're an ass and the only thing you want from her is sex. If you're married to someone you're supposed to be companions. You're supposed to be each other's best friend. If that wasn't the case and she got along well with someone else of course she cheated. She was looking for a companion and you weren't that. You objectified her and used her. You put her into a box. She didn't feel like a person anymore and she didn't know why.

BrazilRedPill · 2017-01-20T18:18:01+00:00

You thought you have found an unicorn, she cheated on you, and you are using AWALT to declare that every man will eventually be cheated. That's not right.

Your wife was a cheater, but it doesn't mean every woman will cheat on every man. It's hard, I know, but your wife cheated on you, maybe she wouldn't cheat on another man. She is still a bitch, since she sees cheating as a valid act; but that said, you lacked some alpha trait things that were important for her; if you had those things she probably wouldn't cheat on you.

You can't take what happened to you and amplify as a general rule. If that was the case, your mother would have cheated on your father, your grandma on your grandpa, and so on.

Your wife was a cheating bitch, but NAWALT, not all women are like that.

MisogynicRationalPig · 2017-01-20T18:48:03+00:00

All I would need is someone to invent test tube babies so you didn't need the mom.

Not to get all dystopian on you but don't hold your breath. Men are doomed.

Figuring out artificial wombs is a significantly harder problem than figuring out how to extract and use adult DNA to fertilize an egg. When that happens, lesbians will obtain DNA from their partners, and have the freedom to choose whichever of their wombs is more convenient. So they'll feel much less of a need to support further development of artificial wombs. But it gets worse: lesbian couples using this method are guaranteed they can only have daughters since both DNA donors will lack a Y chromosome.

More broadly, women will for the first time be able to safely choose to have a daughter rather than risking having a son without resorting to infanticide.

Expect the sidebar to be updated with conversations such as the following:

♀: "Honey, we're having a daughter!"

♂: "Wha...?"

♀: "I got DNA from your sister"

♂: "I'm going to deny paternity"

♀: "Go ahead and test"

Ultimately there will be an excess of wombs which will further crush the economics for development of artificial wombs.

The only solutions to this problem are politically impossible until women lose the right to vote.

anythinginc · 2017-01-20T19:37:30+00:00

sex while cheating

Hysterical bonding, guilt, allaying suspicion, keeping her millionaire content.

cheating

No dread of loss. No fear of the consequences. Right time, right place, right guy.

screechhater · 2017-01-21T00:06:29+00:00

Apparently you did not vett her well

My experience tells me, you saw the signs before the LTR and when the affair happened and now you are wondering if AWALT.

Quality ones are not. But, you'll have to pull your head out of your current cunts ass to identify one.

Oneitis is a Fucking bitch. Ain't it ?

MrFuckupKing · 2017-01-21T07:12:50+00:00

You may not have done anything wrong.

Women can buy things with sex, including getting guys to pay attention to them and entertain them.

I have never married because I watched so many married women fucking around behind their husbands back when I was growing up.

I have also had plenty of married women offer to spread their legs.

Three that were pregnant at the time.

Women can use their pussy like men use money and they can also buy things that money can't buy.

There is a reason that for hundreds of years men kept tight control of women. They understood her power and that she would likely abuse it because they rarely have the character that would prevent it.

Particularly in this time period of hyper permissiveness that has shaped moral character into what it is. There is very little risk or costs to being an adulterer. Even the word seems antiquated

There is certainly a percentage of women out there that would never cheat but they talk and walk just like the ones who would and do cheat.

You can help the odds by avoiding certain types of women but you can never be absolutely sure about a woman until both of you are in your graves.

I'm of the opinion that married women are the easiest to seduce because almost inevitably they are bored and filled with resentment.

It is in a woman's nature to resent men because she was born a woman. Nature has limited her many of the options and experiences that men take for granted. Their resentment starts early and I think this is why they take special delight in being able to twist a man around their finger sexually.

Sex is how women get even with men for being born women (cursed by nature). If you do not understand the hostility that women carry inside them toward men because they were born women than you do not understand women.

Women expect men to fix the misery that comes out of being born a woman and if you do not they will either hate you or leave you and the culture is making it worse by denying that this resentment is even there. This is why the culture is always trying to control how a woman feels (telling her what she feels) It exploits this resentment of being born a woman.

It is always there hidden under the surface ready to come out at any time she is reminded how much she hates having been born a woman. When she is feeling this than you must pay for the "privilege" of being born male. Her self hate is turned outward as much as it is turned inward.

Of course men know the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence but women will always think men have it better than them.(even though they will never admit it)

A guy that knows how to whisper sweet nothings into a woman's ear (if he is patient and very cunning) will instinctively know when to strike. When she is emotionally vulnerable and exactly how to play it. This is what players do.

Married men are actually at a disadvantage if there is any kind of weakness in their wife that a player can capitalize on.

A guy could have everything and be better than any of his competition and still have a wife wander simply because she is vulnerable to seduction in some way. If you can make them laugh or leave them feeling that you "care" than you can get laid.

Women love attention like a crack addict loves his drug.

A sexual predator cannot seduce a woman when she is "emotionally unavailable".

Once she becomes emotionally available she will attract the man that can seduce her. He will sense it.

Until than she is walking around with blinders on and does not see men.

Women swim in a pool of men and the men, like sharks swim around her until they smell blood.

It is not you but the age you live in that you are fighting against. The very culture and environment sets married women up for easy seduction.

TRP helps but it certainly does not guarantee a good, faithful wife.

Those days are long gone. The problem is bigger than what TRP can cure.

It is not you. It is the age you live in. A smart man protects himself and thrives in this environment.

All others get eaten.

redearththeory · 2017-01-21T08:01:17+00:00

If that is the case, then what is the point in trying? You will never be the #1 alpha in the world

Don't hold on. She's not yours, its just your turn, until its not. Enjoy it while it lasts and then bail.

“‘All conditioned things are impermanent’ — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” The Buddha

Title	Post-mortem analysis
Author	findingpurplepill
Upvotes	8
Comments	66
Date	January 20, 2017 6:05 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5p5hzr/postmortem_analysis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/post-mortem-analysis.206626 https://theredarchive.com/post/206626

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