Thoughts on love

InChargeMan · 2018-03-18T18:33:01+00:00

Literally it is all about frame. Check out my post on how beta and alpha behaviors can look identical but differ depending on frame.

I think the idea that, as I like to put it, "Awesomeness oozes from your pores", is key. i.e. You don't do things to gain her favor, you do things because you are an awesome fun guy, and you do awesome fun things for anyone who is a value add to your life/goals (i.e. including other women if they are in your life).

Alternatively, if you think "If I get her some flowers she'll be more likely to have sex with me this week", then you are on a one-way flight to loserville. And, just to be clear, it isn't that women have some special 6th sense, where they can detect your intentions (although, some could argue they do), it is that she instinctively knows your frame relative to hers. This is why unattractive guys are creeps and attractive guys are "sweet" when they say the same thing.

Bottom line, if she is fucking you the way you want and respecting you the way you want, then go ahead and do nice things for her, but if you have even the slightest inkling that you are expecting something in return don't do it, she will know and it will set you back.

On another note, one way to gauge your progress is to see what happens when you don't do something special that she has come to expect. If you want some training wheels, try doing something nice and when she thanks you pretend like you don't remember doing it.

Alpha_Engineer99 · 2018-03-18T22:13:41+00:00

“unexpected love messages, notes, flowers, date nights..”

Depends on her love language...

/s

RedPillCoach · 2018-03-20T15:46:25+00:00

The irresistibility cue must be balanced with the massively anti-seductive perception of neediness.

There is nothing wrong, and a lot good, with sending the wife unexpected love messages, notes, flowers, and so on although Date Night is what I call a "Loss Leader." It is even better to send a surprise gift so that others in the office can see how 'wonderful and thoughtful' her husband is.

However, believe it or not, such actions are a Display of Low Value. You are doing something "nice" and showing her that you value her even more than you value yourself, which sounds great on paper, but it gives her license to value you less. If you put her on a pedestal then she can only look down on you.

Therefore, MRP overwhelmingly advocates gifts as a reward for good behavior. This is what a gift is supposed to be for anyway. If you are giving out flowers to a woman who is not sexing you up well then you are trying to buy sex which is fine in the early stages of courtship but if you do it with your wife she will see exactly what you are doing. She may smile and say thank you but in her heart she will not be grateful that you treated her like a common whore.

470_2_700_nm · 2018-03-18T18:08:39+00:00

I express my love with my dick.

FoxShitNasty83 · 2018-03-18T18:10:12+00:00

A reward for good behaviour.... She's had fuck all of those recently and when she asks why I don't buy flowers I tell her that she needs to be good with a wink or ass slap.

I want to define being good: helping me achieve goals, doing something positive for the family i.e. special occasion meal or something. Not sex, the sex is the reward itself.

BobbyPeru · 2018-03-18T18:22:13+00:00

Do what you want. If you have an urge to do things like that do it.

Just make sure you aren’t doing it on the tail end of bad behavior

Also, make sure you don’t have underlying covert contracts

simbarlion · 2018-03-18T22:53:51+00:00

It's like a sleeping pill for the hamster. Do those things and she knows your locked on her.

It's also pedestal building. She will come to expect it. I am romantic at heart, but cut most of it out. She will respect you more.

Having said that a nice surprise once every 6 months is worthwhile. But make it meaningful, not a gift.

plein_old · 2018-03-18T18:14:56+00:00

"I'm all about that action boss." - Marshawn Lynch

You might try doing things rather than a lot of messages or love letters, etc. Some men find that that works better for them.

88Will88 · 2018-03-21T12:23:16+00:00

Buy her a new vacuum cleaner

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-03-18T22:34:58+00:00

The blue pill is strong with this one.

I have one question. Is SHE doing comparable things to you? Hmm?

Edit for more clarity:

Successful relationships are reciprocal. Doing these things in a one-sided relationship isn't helping anyone.

ReddJive · 2018-03-19T14:52:49+00:00

I think your frame is weak if you have to ask the question.

Any way, why are you? Does she deserve it? Or are you trying to curry favor?

Any response an Alpha gives should be a knee jerk reaction....or authentic. Most men will do things on the basis of currying favor or so that he has domestic tranquillity.

Its mentioned that until your frame is established you shouldn't do a damn thing. And Jordan Peterson gives us a damn good look into why. I just read his 12 laws book this weekend. Fairly decent. But only Rule 1 was fascinating to me. The rest was meh.

Rule 1. Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back

Jodran argue that the poor and stressed always die first. They are also much more susceptible to non-infectious diseases, such as cancer, diabetes and heart disease due to living conditions, diet...you get it.

Jordan points this out with Lobsters. I am paraphrasing his words. These are not mine.

A lobster with high levels of serotonin and low levels of octopamine is a cocky, strutting shellfish, much less likely to back down when challenged.

High serotonin/low octopamine characterizes the victor. The opposite neurochemical configuration, a high ratio of octopamine to serotonin, produces a defeated-looking, scrunched-up, inhibited, drooping, skulking lobster, very likely to hang around street corners, and to vanish at the first hint of trouble.

The dominant male, with his tall and assured posture, not only gets the best real estate and hunting grounds. He also gets the girls. It is certainly more worthwhile to be a successful male lobster.

Jorden goes on to suggest that we (the generic we) have lived in a dominance hierarchy for a long, long time. We have been struggling for position since we crawled out of the primordial ooze. There is little more natural than culture. Dominance hierarchies are older than trees.

There is a part of our brain that keeps track of our position in the dominance hierarchy is therefore clearly more ancient and fundamental.It controls our perceptions, values, emotions, thoughts and actions. It affects every aspect of our lives, conscious and unconscious alike.

This is why, when we are defeated, we act very much like lobsters who have lost a fight.

Therefore an unplugging Red Pill man needs to throw off all the bullshit he's lived under and strike out on his own. Find his way. You are reprogramming yourself to not be defeated. The beautiful thing is we have choice. Though behavior is predictable as humans we can change and influence our own behavior. Then he can come back again and decide a new. Maybe he is the romantic. Maybe he is not. But he cannot truly know until he's gone that full distance.

So no. In your case OP....don't. You aren't ready.

fuck I am verbose today.

Travis2310 · 2018-03-23T14:26:34+00:00

showing your wife love, sending her unexpected love messages, notes, flowers, date nights, doing things she likes etc.

None of this matters.

You can do all of this shit, and she can STILL go fuck another man at any point.

Gaetanorex · 2018-03-18T18:30:25+00:00

I think you don't understand women and you are projecting.

aurelius_shrugs · 2018-03-18T20:28:37+00:00

What’s she done to express she values having a strong, masculine man vigorously fuck her on the regular and put up with her feminine horseshit?

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-03-18T22:11:53+00:00

Did Chad need to show her he valued her back in college when he railed her in the foam party on spring break?

Title	Thoughts on love
Author	Iammrp2
Upvotes	4
Comments	25
Date	March 18, 2018 6:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/85cvqq/thoughts_on_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/thoughts-on-love.204704 https://theredarchive.com/post/204704

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