Can an introvert become extrovert?

stonepimpletilists · 2016-07-27T16:30:07+00:00

The trick is that rest period. I can be extremely extroverted. Though I do need some places to skip off to and have some quiet for a few minutes, recharge the batteries.

This assumes you know how to be social. Get that out of the way first, then you'll know if you're an introvert, or just socially awkward

intradasting350 · 2016-07-27T16:56:27+00:00

No.

Intro/extroversion are nervous system settings, you're born with them.

For the guy saying that you can but there are "things which are holding you back" I say he is wrong because being an introvert =/= lack of social skills, interests, and having anxiety. Many introverts are great conversationalists and listeners. The opposite is true for extroverts, many extroverts lack social skills and can be seen as obnoxious.

zopiro · 2016-07-27T17:36:39+00:00

That depends on what you mean by introversion or extroversion. If we go by the commonplace understanding, in which being an "introvert" means being shy, awkward, antisocial and without many friends, then yes, you can definitely change that. I have. I used to be a very quiet and lonely person, and nowadays I'm fun, talkative, likeable, and usually the center of attention anywhere I go.

Now, if we use a stricter understanding of intro/extroversion, like the one used by the Myers-Briggs personality test, in which being an introvert or an extrovert deals with how you recharge your batteries, then I think you can't change that. There are people who recharge by having some quiet time: being by themselves or with a spouse, reading a book, watching a movie or simply contemplating/meditating/praying; whereas extroverts recharge by mingling with lots of people and talking for hours and hours. I haven't changed that at all.

Hope it helps.

DeltaCypher0 · 2016-07-28T00:22:06+00:00

Hell yeah you can. I'm actually trying to go back to being more introverted.

I've always had a core group of friends from childhood till now (22y), but in middle school I was cool, but just odd enough to not be with the super popular kids. In highschool, I started smoking pot and it allowed me to be social with the coop kids but also facilitated my introspection and I'd spend weeknights with myself after smoking with friends after school. I never really enjoyed parties in highschool, but I'd go once a month. I was highly associated with the coolest kids but had aspects about myself that helped me realize they aren't my ideal friends, so I kept a healthy balance. They were all a grade older, so when they graduated, I had no more friends for my senior year for the most part. I got myself a sexy girlfriend but ruined the relationship as I became complacent and betafied my previous alpha qualities. Wrecked my self esteem. Broke up w her during my first semester of college. The entire next year I went full monk because I didn't have any friends. I learned so goddamn much about myself. It's been three years since then I think, and I've been more and more social to the point now that I'm slipping on my discipline.

Funny thing is, slipping means I have a beer or three one night a week. Or I smoke a bowl occasionally. The activity isn't bad, but I'm only doing it bc of social pressure bc I don't wanna be a square. It's also so much easier to go on dates when you go to a bar. I go to a ton of live music, and that's honestly the best bc I don't have to do any drugs bc everyone just dances and jams out. I don't look out of place without a beer in my hand, even if everyone else has one.

But for real, if you wanna be more outgoing, I highly encourage you to get involved with the live music scene. Dancing and grooving to music you enjoy is so much fun Just go for yourself. If you are having s good time and have a smile on your face, you're guaranteed to attract other fun people.

bboiabb · 2016-07-29T14:51:01+00:00

The best thing to do rather than be what you aren't is to own your introversion and use that as part of your game. Become the mysterious, stoic guy who doesn't say too much, but everything he says is worth listening to

deepthrill · 2016-07-27T16:21:45+00:00

Yes, you can.

So there's removing things which are holding you back, and there's putting yourself out there.

Removing things which are holding you back:

Lack of knowledge on social dynamics
Lack of interesting hobbies to talk about
Fear / social anxiety

Putting yourself out there:

Slowly and gradually grow your comfort zone. Take baby steps but always in the direction of being more extroverted.

For example, throughout the day just say hi to everyone, for a week. Easy, right?

Then next week, say "Hi, how's your day?" to everyone. Easy, after the first week.

Then the next week go strike up a conversation with the person serving you food or at the cashier line each time you go buy something. Wait till that's in your comfort zone.

Then the next week go out of your way to start a conversation with a random person at a coffee shop.

Basically you want to slowly and gradually but consistently expand your comfort zone. See a clear path, but don't just jump into talking to the hottest girl at the bar and fumbling over yourself; you'd be better served building consistent momentum.

TerranFirma · 2016-07-27T16:14:56+00:00

You can learn to be more outgoing but you'll probably never be an extrovert.

NDMagoo · 2016-07-27T18:09:57+00:00

Introversion is an overall independent way of thinking, is not the same as shyness, and does not necessarily equate to weakness. These days by default, introverted males tend to be more easily molded into betas by society, but this does not have to be intrinsic to the mindset. The book "Quiet" by Susan Cain really helped me to understand these concepts. She doesn't directly address the dynamics of male social hierarchy in the terms we use around here, but the issue is indirectly explored in much of the material. The book covers many useful angles, but the main crux is that introversion does not have to be a deficiency if you learn to manage yourself and others. I know it's not often that female authors are lauded around here, but this book was refreshingly science-based and free of feminist BS.

winterequinox007 · 2016-07-27T21:27:05+00:00

Yes they can, but it will never be as genuine as the natural born extroverts. I'm basing this on my personal experience. I was a bona fide introverted person with 0 social skills. Now I'm a supposed ESTP, according to the myers-briggs.

I put myself in uncomfortable situations that I knew would benefit me, such examples would be clubbing and going for a kayaking course. I did it to develop both the social aspect and the physical aspect of myself - if I could conquer the river in a boat, surely social events would be no harder. Working out and losing weight was a huge boon for me, that boosted confidence a lot as well.

I've read up on self improvement books, but the best thing you can do is identify negative social traits and eliminate them. Ask your close friends and think introspectively about negative traits about yourself. Make a conscious effort to avoid such actions. Ingrain certain characteristics such as friendliness, and social courage by talking to more people spontaneously. Tell yourself "you only live once" as the motivation for doing something that makes you uncomfortable but is beneficial to you. Be genuine in terms of expressing what you think (don't say something blatantly stupid), and show genuine emotion to people. Don't over express and be the overly emotional person though.

Up till now I regress into introvertedness intermittently, but it's not the end. You have to make an effort to change yourself to be better. Pm me if you have any questions.

Whisper · 2016-07-27T21:53:30+00:00

Why?

spartan_317 · 2016-07-27T21:57:55+00:00

I am predominantly an introvert, but when I'm out with my friends/family or doing something I love most would consider me an extrovert.

One thing to note is that you are who you are. Yes, go out and develop your social skills (meetup.com or make a list of activities that you've always wanted to do and do them) but remember that both intro and extroverts have strengths and weaknesses.

http://actiontoknowledge.com/game-for-introverts/

http://uk.askmen.com/mind_body_skin/mind/introverts-and-confidence.html

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-reasons-why-introverts-are-incredibly-attractive-people.html

Also, find what you love and do it.

I hope that helps

top-notch-alpha · 2016-07-27T22:17:20+00:00

Great response, i will pm you if i have any more curious thoughts. I want to learn as much as i can in life and about me before my times up.

[deleted] · 2016-07-27T22:23:48+00:00

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SnugglySadist · 2016-07-27T23:56:35+00:00

No. Introversion versus extroversion is simply the way that you decompress. Introverts recharge by being alone. Extroverts relax by being in a crowd. You cant' change this. You can become more social as an introvert, but you will always gain energy from being alone. This is not a bad thing.

___Jamie___ · 2016-07-28T01:43:53+00:00

I can, but it feels "fake" and "shallow" somehow. I'd do it for work but otherwise IDGAF honestly.

tldr: cba

bowie747 · 2016-07-28T02:04:57+00:00

I'm pretty introverted, and I dislike the fact that acquiring power requires one to be incredibly social. Alas I have endeavoured to improve my social skills; forcing myself to talk/listen when I don't want to, speaking to strangers, learning what people do/don't like to talk about, gauging the tone of conversations and contributing appropriately. I received a compliment of my improvement yesterday from a close friend whom I hadn't told, but he said he'd noticed.

So my answer is that yes you can improve. I don't know if it's possibly to fully transform into an extrovert (I don't know why you'd want to) but you can certainly acquire the social skills necessary to achieve what you want.

EightyTimes · 2016-07-28T03:22:30+00:00

Social confidence, asking questions, listening, and storytelling are all skills. You can develop this skill just like any other.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE doing things I'm GREAT at. Once you're GREAT at communication, you might just love it too.

SexySmexxy · 2016-07-28T11:58:15+00:00

Introverts recharge by being alone

Extroverts recharge by being in a social setting

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert.

Being an introvert doesnt mean you have to be some shy awkward fuckwad, it just means the day after you go out, that alone time is so much sweeter than tje usual alone time if you didn't to out.

I love my friends, I love going out and taking ecstacy and dancing my ass off all night.

But I LOVE those next 4 days where I get to cool off and feel extra good because I didn't spend all my time inside doing nothing.

INeedAnswersToQs · 2016-07-28T14:00:14+00:00

Not quite relevant to TRP lifestyle but very interesting read on introversion and how introverted people are successful in all aspects of life is "Quiet" by Susan Cain.

newguy889 · 2016-07-29T05:55:56+00:00

There's an important part in the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. He explains that nice guys often feel that they can't change their current psychological state. He mentions that the worst thing a recovering nice guy can do for himself is believe that he can't change the way he thinks or acts, that it's all set in stone. In reality, it's quite far from the truth.

Throughout all of our childhood, we experience a plethora of different situations, all which shape the way we view the world and others around us. Those experiences are significant because they tend to have a lasting impact on the way we perceive things. To be fair, our brains are quite adaptable. We certainly can change ourselves, we just have to be willing to believe it.

Kwantuum · 2016-07-27T18:58:09+00:00

For a very long time I though I was an introvert and with time I realized that a lot of the things that I thought were introversion were in fact a lack of social skills, and I would describe myself as more of an extrovert these days. I don't know if you can change from one to the other but it is definitely possible to be misguided in what you think you are.

[deleted] · 2016-07-28T11:57:57+00:00

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Certifiedfamilylaw · 2016-07-27T16:17:19+00:00

Title	Can an introvert become extrovert?
Author	top-notch-alpha
Upvotes	12
Comments	70
Date	July 27, 2016 3:57 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4uvc06/can_an_introvert_become_extrovert/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/can-an-introvert-become-extrovert.108948 https://theredarchive.com/post/108948

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