Did I lose frame by saying this?

FinancialThanks1 · 2020-03-24T19:59:48+00:00

You deal with situations like this by moving on

4thAndLong · 2020-03-24T20:08:36+00:00

Wrong move.

Should have just not replied anything.

After a couple of times of making excuses to not hangout you should have moved on.

casemodz · 2020-03-24T21:01:05+00:00

One thing that is good to realize is that women make an effort when they want something. My ex would happily come over at 11pm but a year later, she "doesn't go out when she's already home"

Anyways, she's trying to simp you. She probably gets tons of gifts from other guys and you're just another one of those neckbeards to her.

I don't know the term but women do this thing to plant an idea like that. She knew what she was doing. It was like dropping a hint she knows betas will pick up on and then offer her money or stuff like that.

She's a twitch thot.

My advice: don't ever assume a girl you meet online will ever turn into anything. Especially dating apps. Its not hard to meet women in the real world like normal people. Hope this helps

astonboi01 · 2020-03-24T20:26:55+00:00

Actions not words

Terdmuffin · 2020-03-24T21:14:01+00:00

So I got butthurt

So yeah, you broke frame.

If she keeps denying your requests to hang out, don't get butt hurt and text her. Move on and find a chick who is actually willing to hang out.

Thefreeman911 · 2020-03-24T21:17:09+00:00

It was the wrong move.

And now you know.

Keep progressing

omega05 · 2020-03-24T23:30:12+00:00

Is she the only woman you know? Like in your entire city?

Cancermaxxed · 2020-03-24T22:59:21+00:00

Your first mistake is texting her other than logistics.

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-03-24T22:15:17+00:00

Eh, it could have been way worse.

2020-03-24T22:18:50+00:00

I think the thing to have said would've been, "Hey I gotta go, I'm busy, hit me up when you want to get together". And then forget about her and go back to your purpose.

PRW63 · 2020-03-24T21:17:38+00:00

No one here "knows what she is". There is next to no information here for anyone to "know" anything.

Your text, although was not extreme, did sound a little butt-hurt. You will know what your result is by how she responds,...if she responds.

There is no "Frame" in this conversation. You haven't even met her in person yet. Although frame is important in general it is being used as more of a "buzzword" here than anything else. Frame is simply the context and who is in control of that context. It is a fluid thing,...there is no way you are going to always be in control every second.

If you really want to establish something you would have offered a date at a specific day/time/place. If all you did was talk about the "idea" of a date,...that is not offering a date, and that is when women dance around the issue and dodge the question or don't give you a straight answer.

TheCiph3r · 2020-03-24T23:19:53+00:00

Basic rule, watch their actions not their words. Here’s an example

Ex plate on the first few weeks: “I’ll be away from Wed till Friday but I can hangout with you on Friday evening and I’m also free from Sat until Monday”

Ex plate after a couple months when I asked her out: “I wanna hangout with you but sorry I’m really busy, maybe next weekend but I’m still not sure?” (another vague excuse after I asked her out. Usually I give 3 tries)

See the difference? In the first one she’s giving clear excuses and freeing up her weekends just to see me. In the second one, she’s just giving vague excuses and not offering an alternative.

You should’ve just ignored her and move on. There might be a chance she’ll come back begging for you but don’t count on it.

Just remember what Mark Manson says “If she likes you enough, she’ll make time for you” You just didn’t make that amazing first impression. Move on bro.

2020-03-24T20:49:21+00:00

As others said, you should just next.

But you went nuclear and there's nothing wrong with this if you stick by what you said and continue to ignore her boring bullshit.

If she makes this into an argument do not engage- I repeat DO NOT ENGAGE.

redlurker9 · 2020-03-24T20:58:03+00:00

She didn't show high interest, she showed low interest by using excuses to not see you. Watch her actions, not her words.

alphakari · 2020-03-25T04:15:38+00:00

Meh. It's kinda clumsy, but it's probably better than being her orbiter. Go talk to other women. If you don't have the motivation, block her.

You're talking to her from the perspective of being rejected, which is why you're butthurt. A better frame is that she's losing your interest.

Which leads to my suspicion that your actual frame that led you and her to this point is you actually enjoy talking about dumb shit with her. Maybe cause you're lonely or you can feel the tug to be her orbiter, and so this butthurtness is just you overcompensating.

Title	Did I lose frame by saying this?
Author	Vofz
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	March 24, 2020 7:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fobuk0/did_i_lose_frame_by_saying_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/did-i-lose-frame-by-saying-this.357154 https://theredarchive.com/post/357154

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