My group at university met around a year ago and we click fairly quickly, no problems there. As time went by, it became clear though that there was no connection between me and with one of the guys. This was not a problem at first.

Recently however, he started insulting me in front of the others. I'm not talking about jokes, but straight out insults when I don't share his view or when we are in contrast for some reason. Now, the insults are not violent but are always there (dumb, stupid, idiot, etc). He does it when we are together, never alone, and he attempts to invalidate me at every chance he gets.

Now, I know how to deal with people like this if they are strangers. I'm very good at shrugging things off my shoulder. This, however, I can't handle. I just don't know how to react. I really like my friends and they like me. And they also like him.

This is how I feel:

  1. If I stay quite, I feel "submissive".

  2. If I answer by mocking his insult the way I want to, I'd just be insulting him back and I don't want a physical fight as he's bigger than me. And as I'm packed with anger right now, I always came out as the "weak one".

The idea that he's giving to everyone around is that he can get away by, literally, insulting me. Should I just hit him back?

Usually things develop this way:

HE: "What are you saying? Knowing you, stupid stuff, I guess..."

ME: "I was saying..."

or

HE: "What is it that you don't understand? Are you dumb or stupid?"

ME (blank-faced and trying to stay calm): "I just didn't get why bla bla bla..."

This is how I'm dealing with it. And I feel like an idiot. What I'd like to do is insult him back, without showing anger. The point is, I'm convinced that by doing this he created this idea that he can insult me within the group because I never insult back.

I feel like he can do something I can't.

Am I wrong in wanting to crush him in return? Because I really feel pissed right now and every interaction with him just makes me feel the adrenaline on my chest...