LTR refused sex

tayowsp · 2018-09-04T21:06:51+00:00

You can’t force someone to have sex when they don’t want to.

She's right. She doesn't find you attractive (or as attractive) anymore.

Apply dread and consider nexting - this is all covered in the sidebar.

CainPrice · 2018-09-04T23:32:44+00:00

So you overtly told your girlfriend that you'd fuck someone else if she won't fuck you? That's loser behavior. Delivering threats and ultimatums doesn't tell a girl "You'd better do this or you'll suffer!" It tells them "I'm a whiny loser who doesn't really have any actual options with women and I have to resort to threatening the only option I actually have when she won't fuck me." Do you ever see those awesome guys who get laid every time they want threatening girls? Nope. The girls just know better. Because he doesn't tell them what's up in some loser attempt to verbally bully them into sex. He shows them by the way he lives his life.

It also sounds like you don't know how to flirt and banter and put her in the mood. Like, are you just directly trying to get her to agree to sex before a date via text message or something loser-ish like that?

If you're seeing your LTR 1-3 times a week and she doesn't want to have sex with you every single time, she's not that into you. I mean, maybe she's one of those women out there with a poor libido, but really, if she isn't hungry for your dick, she shouldn't be your girlfriend.

You don't want a girl who doesn't want you. The sex sucks anyway. Just text her "It sounds like we're not compatible" and block her. Then go find someone else.

NightwingTRP · 2018-09-04T21:15:21+00:00

It's over. She's trying to weaponise sex. It's a massive luminous red flag that cannot be tolerated. Hard next. Go spin some plates and get your head right before even considering looking at LTRing again. When you fuck up an LTR it reflects upon you and how you have failed to screen properly. Ruminate on this while you spin some plates for at least 6 months.

wobbleelbbow · 2018-09-04T21:36:57+00:00

Withdraw attention and money. Simple. She doesn't owe you sex and you do not owe her attention and money

319Skew · 2018-09-04T23:28:55+00:00

I have a problem with how it's worded. It sounds like you have overtly stated that you'll be with another woman. If you have done this then you've broken frame. You can apply dread to restore frame but it may be better to just leave. LTRs are just upgraded FWB. If you're not getting sex from the relationship then you're really just her beta provider. Next her. Move on or game other women. She's holding the cards. Time for a new hand. IMO

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2018-09-04T21:08:40+00:00

When a girl would rather have logical discussions about the merits of not fucking, it’s over. For a guy she does want, she couldn’t talk with a cock in her mouth.

nummas · 2018-09-05T03:27:08+00:00

"ok, well this isn't working out for me, thanks for the good times. Best of luck" And begin you new life.

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2018-09-04T23:10:48+00:00

Something you did has tabked your smv...might need to next or nuclear dread bomb...which may just lead to nexting anyway

Ricklogical · 2018-09-04T21:32:13+00:00

Sounds like she wants to see less of you

CalvinRichland · 2018-09-04T22:25:42+00:00

"I do have to fuck my girlfriend all the time. She just doesnt have to be you"

freew33zy · 2018-09-04T21:55:01+00:00

Entered the thread expecting to give typical advice of "dread, maybe soft next." Read what she said. Instant hard next--she is not into you. That is almost textbook what slutty girls tell beta males to avoid fucking them. Move on, improve yourself, she'll feel stupid she let you go.

redvelvet_oreo · 2018-09-05T00:25:00+00:00

You already got the answer here. This is textbook.

and if you Threaten her she doesn’t fuck you that you will fuck someone else it’s wrong.

If you actually threatened her and didn't follow up on it you look like a pussy. Dont threaten to leave or cheat unless you actually intend on doing that or else you look like a fool and show you have no power.

BecomingChad2 · 2018-09-05T03:28:03+00:00

would she say that to brad pitt? I don't think so. What that means is that she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore and all the other shit is her rationalizing it as best she can

Musicgoon · 2018-09-05T04:46:39+00:00

Gather all your shit that might be at her place. Pack up all her shit and drop it off somewhere.

Then go find a couple of plates and bang the shit out of them..

Fuck that bullshit. Show her that she's replaced easily.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-09-05T14:18:39+00:00

You spelled "ex-LTR" wrong.

A. YOU decide how often you need sex. If she doesn't want to provide it, fine, that'sher right, but...

B. If one restaurant is closed, you go to another restaurant.

C. She's "Shaming" you for natural male desire.

D. You can't "negotiate" desire. If you're not getting it enough, then move on.

I can tell you the last time a woman I was in a relationship with refused me sex. It was 21 years ago. You are going about this wrong.

screechhater · 2018-09-05T00:37:23+00:00

Next. Ghost.

Avoid rinse and repeat in your choices. You aren’t attractive, shit frame apparently

BeeBopJoe · 2018-09-05T01:38:09+00:00

I feel like theres a huge piece of the puzzle missing to give a fully educated response but your only choices are to apply hard dread or hard next

Ronaldo-CR7- · 2018-09-05T03:17:16+00:00

Withdraw immediately and seek other plates

kayfab · 2018-09-05T07:14:35+00:00

Dump dump dump, i did this with the ex bitch was bad sex to start and it went worst, when they stop giving you the sex its the end.....

imtheoneimmortal · 2018-09-05T09:13:15+00:00

i hope you don't say at her "if i don't fuck you ill fuck others"

lazydogg9 · 2018-09-05T07:52:54+00:00

Don't let yourself be shamed for having needs. No man should ever stand this. Consider nexting. You don't wanna be one of those betas who are "" try /saving /working on the relationship"".

Venenarium · 2018-09-05T11:07:01+00:00

And if you Threaten her she doesn’t fuck you that you will fuck someone else it’s wrong

Where did she get that idea from? Did you actually verbally threaten her with that in the past?

If yes then you've misunderstood a cardinal rule. The threats of you finding someone else should always be implied, never verbal. If you actually did say something as stupid as that in the past then consider this to be a comfort test. Therefore agree with it, let her know that indeed she's her own person and you value her needs, don't demand anything.

Will you lose your 'alpha status' or 'dominance' or whatever? Well, yes, but that's only because you've fucked up before so now you have to pick the lesser evil.

lolexbolex · 2018-09-05T13:29:12+00:00

And if you Threaten her she doesn’t fuck you that you will fuck someone else it’s wrong

This, right here. Don't be butt-hurt when you get rejected, don't throw empty threats, it makes you look like a little bitch. Sometimes a person doesn't want to have sex, that doesn't mean she's considering you are a looser.

If this happens too often, then you have different sex drives / she's not that attracted anymore and you should both look for someone compatible.

MattyAnon · 2018-09-05T16:31:08+00:00

Her words- “You don’t have to Fuck ur girlfriend all the time. And if you Threaten her she doesn’t fuck you that you will fuck someone else it’s wrong. Blah blah blah. It’s like you just want to be with someone to use them for sex. You can’t force someone to have sex when they don’t want to. Blah blah”

What she is saying "you must offer commitment and I don't have to offer sex".

What she is really saying: "I am not attracted to you".

The whole "you just use me for sex" always means "I am not attracted to you".

Accept it. Be less beta in future. This is why LTR's suck.

Retstortion · 2018-09-05T20:56:13+00:00

It’s over

friendandadvisor · 2018-09-05T23:59:58+00:00

Any time a girl says that you have 'threatened' her, in any context, that means that a cop will come to club your ass big time and arrest you, at some time or another.
If she's like this now, how will she be further down the road? Do you think she will give you more sex or less?

MisterRoid · 2018-09-06T02:14:46+00:00

It's possible she's just testing you, in which case you just ignore her words and escalate to sex anyways, but if she's putting up serious resistance you have two options:

1.) If she's at your place and refuses to have sex, kick her out.

2.) If you are at her place, walk away.

And 3.) If you are discussing this over the phone like a retard, stop discussing this over the phone like a retard.

Dump the bitch if that doesn't work.

0kool74 · 2018-09-04T22:06:26+00:00

What should I do?? What’s my response and action?? Thanks

Hard next and ghost; you're welcome

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-09-04T23:24:42+00:00

12 levels of dread. You have to give her the tingles, and your safe always-available attitude isn't doing that.

niczar · 2018-09-05T11:24:06+00:00

And if you Threaten her she doesn’t fuck you that you will fuck someone else it’s wrong

Did you "threaten" her? If you did, that's idiotic. You tried reasoning her into sex, which is a beta male move and a display of weakness on your part. It demonstrates that she can control your feelings whenever she wants by simply refusing sex.

ThrowFader · 2018-09-04T22:27:24+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

daytonbull90 · 2018-09-04T23:41:58+00:00

Holds sex over your head, hold the relationship over hers, tit for tat.

kellykebab · 2018-09-05T06:40:53+00:00

What a great writer, sounds like a real catch! You should apologize and allow only her to initiate sex. Blah blah

Title	LTR refused sex
Author	Mattyice2857
Upvotes	19
Comments	62
Date	September 4, 2018 9:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9czpva/ltr_refused_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-refused-sex.132084 https://theredarchive.com/post/132084

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