Where do I start as an omega?

fnordsnord · 2015-04-01T17:14:26+00:00

The first thing to understand it that change is HARD. You are who you are because you are comfortable where you are. You don't say much about what you DO do. But say, you eat potato chips and play console games while sitting on the couch 90% of the time you're not in class. You DO that because it's easy and comfortable, even though you don't like the end result.

If you choose to make changes, understand that they are going to be uncomfortable.

First, give this a read. I don't mean to talk down to you. I realize that this is aimed at guys way younger than you, but it's the clearest introduction to dealing with women I've ever seen. http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/p/the-red-pill-primer-for-boys.html

Once you've gotten through that, find something you like to do that involves other people.

Women are a subset of people, and Game is something that builds on top of knowing how to deal with people.

It doesn't have to be rich in women. It just need to involve other people. I know you're "naturally shy, introverted and not too outgoing." You're going to have to get past that at least somewhat.

Because people don't come to you. You go to them.

Find something you like to do, at least little physical, where you can meet other people. Square dancing. Indoor rock climbing. Martial arts classes. When you're there, make eye contact, introduce yourself. Make physical contact. Shake hands.

First let's get you socialized. Then we'll worry about getting you laid.

DeputyDelicious · 2015-04-01T13:12:44+00:00

WHERE DO I START? This is my biggest question. I see field reports of ppl getting numbers, instant dates and makeouts all the time but not a single fucking post about CONCRETE INSTRUCTIONS ON WHAT TO FUCKING START WITH.

I remember when I said this same thing in here. Some dickbag cough asd1100 cough told me that what I said I wanted, wasn't what I really wanted. I know what he meant now. What I thought I wanted? A routine. A literal step by step lined up collection of statements to say that would get me some sex. What he said to me pissed me right off. Something about focus on the inner game, your natural game. I told him I didn't have it. He said stfu, lift, and read the stuff that's here. Months later. I'm not on some absurd pussy magnet level, but I can say I'm better than I was the day before.

Some stuff you'll need that douchebag asd1100 didn't give me.

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2xtoc9/quickanddirty_tips_and_tricks_for_aspiring_alphas/

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2op1dl/my_trp_starter_pack/

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s6wsf/how_you_know_youve_finally_swallowed_the_red_pill/

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1tjcbg/ltr_game_maintaining_frame/

http://www.reddit.com/r/trpgame/comments/2609wx/game_cheat_sheet/

RPthrowaway123 · 2015-04-01T13:10:06+00:00

Hello, and congrats on deciding to change yourself. That's the most important thing you can do to get started.

First of all, omegas actually are a term used here and they are basically exactly as you've described. You are an incel, involuntarily celibate, but that's okay. You were fed a bunch of bullshit your whole life. You didn't know how to handle women and relationships. I'm not making excuses for you, but that's the facts.

First things first: you've got a lot of reading to do. Start with No More Mr. Nice Guy, I can send you an epub if you want. It is a great introduction to a lot of the ideas here. The sidebar is full great information but I think that coming friom where you are you need a primer like NMMNG first.

You mentioned having the pussy on a pedestal. Want to bring that back down to earth? Every time you see a beautiful girl and are getting intimidated and shit, just remember: they pooped today too :P

Temuzjin · 2015-04-01T13:14:17+00:00

Start by hitting the gym regularly.

icyhot39 · 2015-04-01T13:57:14+00:00

A simple answer:

hang out here, read as much as possible. Immediately start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
Work on making male friends. Men are awesome; women follow us around because we are.
Do something today that is different than your normal routine and at least a little uncomfortable. Wash-rinse-repeat
Realize that this whole alpha/beta/omega stuff is at least a little bullshit. Don't let others' perception dictate your self-worth (especially women). Are you happy with where you're at? No. But realize you should be proud of yourself for something; Focus on that for your self-worth.

Take a deep breath. The things you want are out there, now go get them.

builttoaskquestions · 2015-04-01T14:28:11+00:00

Its easy to list all the things that you are not, and to demonize yourself for not having achieved things yet. You assume there are no others like you in real life, which further demonizes your situation. You use the word "pathetic" to describe your level of experience. You make up reasons (study computer programming, naturally shy, introverted, etc) as to why you're like this. You dump energy into rationalizing your lack of happiness.

You've been to /r/seduction. You've seen the live in-field training companies. Any guess at what their #1 customer demographic is? Would it surprise you to hear that the majority of their customers are engineers? Specifically computer science and STEM types. People who attached themselves to technology at an early age, to the degree required to pursue a major in compsci, have things weighted heavily against them when it comes to socialization. Look at professional gamers -- half of them can't shake hands after a match, let alone make eye contact with the other team, comprised entirely OF OTHER MALE GAMERS DOING THE SAME THING.

You've made it this far. You've found a community of people like you who are motivated to improve themselves. Yeah, we've all felt what it's like at some point in our lives. Some of us at age 12, some at 26, some at age 40. That feeling of wanting poon, but not knowing where to start. You're asking the right questions, and so long as you continue to DO SO UNASHAMEDLY AND TAKE ACTION TOWARDS YOUR GOALS, you'll do fine. Happiness will come.

Because you asked for it, I'll give you an activity to run with.

Stop.

Take a breath, and be grateful for something you've done in your life.

It can be something small. For taking the time to read a particular book. For setting aside time to meditate today. For putting effort in to truly understand a compsci topic because you wanted to grok it. For smiling at that one person last month, even for just a brief moment before it felt awkward. Whatever it is, take a moment to thank yourself for having done it.

Really, earnestly, thank yourself. Do it out loud. Do it in a mirror.

Do it NOW.

(I'm just some dude on the internet writing this, outside of time and space. If you were in my proximity, I'd have you do this, so with that intention, this is something you should do now.)

Thank yourself so deeply that you no longer have any doubt that you truly feel grateful in your gut, in your chest, in your heart and mind. You should probably feel somewhat ridiculous. That's a good start. That's your self-esteem building. It feels strange at first. You might even feel guilty, sad, angry, frustrated or embarrassed. Man up and thank yourself for two other things you've done for yourself recently. SMILE, and mean it.

That's it. Do this whenever you want. Making a daily habit out of it WILL DO WONDERS for your self-esteem. Napoleon Hill of Think and Grow Rich (read this book at some point in your life) suggests thanking yourself daily FOR YOUR FAILURES, STRUGGLES, AND ADVERSITIES. Build a positive feedback loop to support ACTION, rather than RESULTS.

True self-esteem comes from weeding out uncertainty in your actions. In expressing gratitude for your past actions, you're building trust that your actions MATTER to you in terms of where you're going in life. You're validating your own actions. You're giving yourself permission. You're proving to yourself that you DO CARE about yourself, and that the you of yesterday is there to back you up in your pursuit of your goals today. This is how you start the snowball of self-confidence. Wherever you go, you've got your back.

Maybe you haven't taken a swing dance class yet, or kissed a girl, or gone on a date, or had a foursome with early-twenties triplets, each skilled in a different form of massage, but there are things you have done for yourself. Your entire life isn't a waste. Your life has brought you to this point, here, right now, this very moment, and you are facing the same choice that ever new red piller must face. MAINTAIN YOUR STANCE AND NOT CRAWL BACK INTO IGNORANCE.

Start small with No More Mr Nice Guy. DO FOLLOW THE ACTIVITIES IN THE BOOK. Put effort into finding someone trustworthy that you can "come out" to. If it's a therapist, so be it. I've spent my fair share of time on the big couch and I'll tell you, it was worth every penny. If you have a supportive "alpha" friend, that works as well. Whoever it is, be unashamed in your communications with this person from this point forward, and let them know that you will communicate with them in this manner. If they have any self-respect, they'll hold you accountable to that and call you out on your bullshit. You want this. The bullshit is only there to cover up uncertainty. The more bullshit you can work through, the more confidence you'll build in yourself.

I'll end this note by suggesting that you stick with the meditation. All action, large or small, begins in the mind. Learn to calm the mind and remain there without reaction. Twenty minutes on the cushion, daily. You'll spend half your time fidgeting and half your time thinking about sex, AND STICK WITH IT. Even if you only have a few brief flashing moments of calm, that's a fantastic start. As you build your meditation practice, those flashes will turn into moments will turn into seconds will turn into minutes, which will eventually turn into entire sitting sessions. Learning to be reaction-free is learning to drive your own mind. Rather than let it hang in weird places for too long and get bent out of shape, you grow the ability to focus it where you want to apply effort. If you've ever gone trail running or lost yourself in compsci homework, you know that feeling of being in the zone and perfectly focused. Imagine what you could do if you had the ability to apply yourself that way to other things in life. Like acquiring poon. Or changing the world.

Keep meditating!

If you have the time to invest, take a 10-day course in Vipassana (as taught by Goenka). Regardless, find some mindfulness meditation lessons. Read the book Raja Yoga for basic meditation practices. If you have to, start on YouTube, but do find a local group to sit with. You'll meet others who are also struggling to quiet their minds and find peace and happiness. Sharing in a struggle is one of the best ways to bond with others. And believe me, all of us here are struggling, the same way we struggle on that last rep on that last set in the gym.

Continue pushing until muscle failure occurs, and keep smiling!

zpatriarchy · 2015-04-01T14:56:52+00:00

you didn't invent omega males, this guy did

skinnysandvs · 2015-04-01T20:46:04+00:00

Going to write this for you and use it as a healthy reminder for myself.

I consider myself a man. All the "Alpha, beta" talk is bullshit jerked around on this sub by new guys. You're either a man or a bitch. That's what all this "Redpill" vocab and nonsense boils down to

Women are attracted to men, not bitches. Men, look like men (lift) and they act like men (Frame) THATS IT.

When your frame is solidified you become more confident because no matter what the outcome, you know you are a man who has other things going on.

I recommend 3 things to start you on your journey to becoming a man (That's what "swallowing the pill" should be called)

Get to the gym.. Start off with a beginner workout (stronglifts 5x5 is great, there's even an app that shows how you progress and its all linear) Don't be afraid to ask for help or if you're doing a lift right. Most guys at the gym LOVE to show a new guy how to lift right. Just don't follow him around, unless he suggests it, and don't interrupt him in the middle of his set
Read the SIDEBAR of the main sub around 2-3 times. Read it out loud to yourself so you can vocalize it and internalize it... Your time spent on the main sub should be limited, I honestly believe there should be no "Anger" phase. If there is then you're focusing too much on the female aspect of RP and not on the part where you stop being a bitch and become a man. If you do read the submitted posts, try to formulate your own thoughts before reading the comments. That's what men do, they assess and make their own decisions on a situation and then take in the opinions of others. A lot of times the go to decision on there is "YEAH MAN HARD NEXT THAT CAROUSEL RIDING SKANK BLAH BLAH BETA BLAH BLAH i'M SO ALPHA I HAVE 10 PLATES RIGHT NOW I WOULD HARD NEXT THEM ALL" When really it's not that serious. When you begin to use RP knowledge to become a better man the female aspect doesn't even matter anymore because they WILL come to you and you WILL know how to handle it
Get a hobby and get good at it.. maybe you like to write, draw, code, anything just find something and get good at it. It will boost your confidence, which in turn will boost your frame, which in turn will boost your confidence, which in turn will boost your frame (See what I'm getting at? Frame and confidence go hand in hand)

Part of being a man is also changing your way of thinking. No more lazing around all day doing nothing. Good way to start this habit is to get up, shower, and clean your place/room. Realize that if you put in work now, you will have a better future. Delayed gratification my friend. You don't need motivation to better yourself, motivation is for bitches who lack self discipline. Men have self discipline.

Once you become a better version of yourself, you will have women, but by then your self worth will be so high you won't care. Work on YOU dude, pussy will come

But then again what do I know I'm just a 17 year old kid lol

LordPorker · 2015-04-01T15:54:27+00:00

Good advice here.

I'd advise any young guy who is: shy, introverted, and socially awkward, to start getting out there any take baby steps in socializing.

I'm in my forties, and due to a whole load of events (mostly my fault), I missed out on this key aspect of life and am paying the price. Don't make the same mistake I did. Get out there, and talk to folks.

Also, once you feel comfortable socializing, this really opens up a whole new world (not just women). You'll end up with contacts who may help you get a job, provide some practical help, and much more.

throwawaymontreal21 · 2015-04-01T18:16:42+00:00

honestly i cant tell you dont have a job . rule number one GET A JOB and if you have a job and you still have time to feel this shitty about yourself you need to get a harder job

you sound like a very normal person . this is what you need to do before learning to interact with women. youre gonna learn to interact with the wolrd get a job get a hard job learn how to make friends make friends with guys frmo work dont try to be alpha or any of that shit dont try to be popular be in a group of friends be comfortable having friends come back to this conversation answer your own fuckin question seriously get off the fuckin internet its because you dont do anything and have spent your whole life on the fuckin internet

Cum_on_doorknob · 2015-04-01T18:18:27+00:00

Dude, it can be done, I was kissless until 25. Not anymore. Watch a ton of RSDTyler, and try and find his Blue Print decoded video. Then of course, low carb paleo + lifting = shredded.

Yangel · 2015-04-01T18:45:23+00:00

Read No More Mr Nice Guy.

BlackHeart89 · 2015-04-01T20:50:14+00:00

Keep on working out and attempting to simply look better and be smarter. Wiser. Etc. Listen more. Get a job where you're forced to socialize with people. Customer service jobs will do that. I'm introverted, but getting a job at walmart 2 years ago definitely helped me for the jobs that came later. It also helped with personal relationships.

Also, hook up with a few prostitutes to get your confidence right. I'm not advising you go broke. Just... you have to start somewhere. And if you're 23 and still a virgin, I doubt you'll have enough confidence to get laid at this point without paying for it.

cascadecombo · 2015-04-02T01:38:52+00:00

Yeah that's right. I just invented a new category of men. Men who are below betas. "Men" (I and anyone else in this category are more like manchildren) like me. I'm so disconnected, so clueless, hopeless, so experienceless that I'm effectively BELOW the "beta" category.

You created shit, this term has been around.

For what you are asking, what may be the most effective way for you to get out of your box is to just start going out.

You know how long it took you to get a grasp of programming languages, it'll take you at least a couple months to get comfortable hitting up people around you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/312iiz/30_days_of_comfort_challenges_day_1_experiment/

Do this, start now.

CONCRETE INSTRUCTIONS ON WHAT TO START WITH.

Ha, there are none. If you are weak walk into a gym. If you can't talk with girls, start by talking and making friends with guys who can. If you can't do something, go somewhere where people who can are, once there make an effort to find someone you can watch/study/have teach you.

You, yes you, need to know that no one is going to hold your hand and push you into becoming better. People will help the guy they see who is trying, but they are not going to push you to continue.

Do you even want to change?

I bet you just want to feel like you are making a change, and then you'll go back to doing jack shit because that is easy for you.

redpillthrower · 2015-04-02T02:35:24+00:00

I would like to know how long you have been working out, no fap etc. I to started very low with large anxiety and depression. In my opinion any major hurdles in your happiness and life should be addressed or atleast you should be clearly aware before you move on to women, or you can be likely to fall back to your old ways. Most of the advice on this sub towards newbies is good advice in general, but there are people that are starting far lower than most people understand.

Take the time to focus on your improvements and while you do improve feel good about them. Feel good about yourself. If you bench 10 pounds more feel awesome about that, if you go for another week of nofap feel awesome about it.

For approaching the greatest thing that will solve your anxiety is cold approaching and than getting rejected. You will get rejected, ALOT, and at first it might be feel bad but you will quickly feel liberated because now you get to talk to women freely. Just that alone is so uplifting, but its not always possible to start there.

So for approaching start tomorrow. Walk up to 5 friendly looking dudes and start a conversation, if you cant think of what to say just say "Hi my name is ____, i am in programming, what course are you in"?. Do this for a few days.

Than for the next few days approach some uglier girls/girls you are not interested in and the same the thing.

Next few days go to a star bucks or whatever you got there and hit on the cute coffee girls, it is their job to be nice to you

Next few days find an attractive girl on the street and just ask her where the nearest star bucks is.

From here you can approach attractive women and try a bunch of different stuff out.

Remeber getting rejected is ok.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc

Watch this michael jordan commercial about he repeatedly failed if you feel intimidated by approaching.

Im also here for direct messaging and im sure others probably are as well even though many of them are busy.

oldredder · 2015-04-02T08:52:58+00:00

so... April Fool's?

a_nus · 2015-04-01T20:10:12+00:00

You mention you're a progamming manor so I assume you're in college. This is the best setting to get exposure to other women. Join clubs (preferably ones that hold social events) and meet people there. You'll meet men and women. Eventually you'll get an offer to go clubbing or hit up a party. Take it. Have some drinks, relax, and meet more people. Rinse and repeat. Do this and in a couple of months I wont guarantee you to have lost your virginity (although it's totally possible), but I will guarantee you your social circle will grow and you'll interact with a lot more women.

Also you mention you have friend, even "alpha" friends. So get them to take you out and interact with girls when they do. You'll suck at it at first, but that's how it goes.

The-Pussy-Whisperer · 2015-04-01T13:30:58+00:00

/r/becomeaman

Go. Start with sidebar, THEN read the posts, not the other way around

Title	Where do I start as an omega?
Author	Throwcore
Upvotes	19
Comments	66
Date	April 1, 2015 12:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/311ubv/where_do_i_start_as_an_omega/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/where-do-i-start-as-an-omega.147535 https://theredarchive.com/post/147535

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