In social situations, I find that newcomers often make the bad habit of blocking out anyone who isn't a potential target. As we first start learning, we take ourselves out of situations that don't directly contribute to our game, and that works to our own detriment. This is a classic AFC mistake. Studies have shown that for men, communication is often a means to an end. We want something, we express that desire, and we hopefully get it. Women, on the other hand, socialize for the sake of socializing. That's where the big disconnect often lies, because many guys simply don't know how to do this.

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[Now, there are plenty of resources along the sidebar that help with that type of inner game development, but that isn't what this post is about. This post is about a way to take that knowledge and use it in everyday scenarios.]

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I see this question on Seddit a lot these days - "What about girls who are wearing headphones? How do I get their attention?" Well, what about guys who are wearing headphones? Your eyes are still working, but your brain has checked out weather you realize it or not. You aren't flexing all of your social muscles when you sit there in your own world. You're starving them. So what should you do with all of this new time? Talk to people. Doesn't really matter who it is or what it's about, just talk.

I just finished my own 7 Day "No Headphone Challenge", and it was even harder than I thought it would be. As a musician and an introvert, life without music was a jittery, frustrating mess. After a bit of practice, however, I found that people were actually pretty damn interesting. Yes, I met a few women (even landed a couple #-closes), but the most valuable thing I found was rather unexpected. I found that the best subjects, to me, were the elderly. When's the last time you simply talked to an old person? I bet it's been a while. I've had some of the best conversations of my entire life with old people. Seriously, go to a park some time and just talk to the elderly; they've lived a lot of life, and they're often wise as fuck. You'll get better at conversing for the hell of it, and you might even learn a thing or two. Also, practicing conversation with such a neutral subject will help ease your AA.

In the last week, I feel like I've recovered a little piece of myself that has been lost in my hi-tech upbringing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying headphones are some kind of evil force. I love my music, and having a virtually limitless amount of it at my fingertips is invaluable to me - (It's the little things, =D) - but I also realize how it can hinder my ability to break out of my own shell and simply start sharing my life with others. I realized that I wasn't listening to music in public because I was bored, I was bored because I had become so used to listening to music in public.

Now, take out those damn headphones. If possible, leave the iPod at home entirely. Force yourself into focus.

Realize that you have no excuse for being bored. Ever.