So in the past I've been pretty awesome with women, I'm young, forward, been told I'm attractive, and I have no problem talking to anyone. It's been a pretty stellar year or so for me. Within all of that I've been dumped numerous times. Some hurt, some didn't phase me. There's two that really stick out to me, the ones that taught me something.

This past summer I was working at a huge bar district in my city, so it was nothing but work, partying, and just being out of control. I got into cocaine really bad, like almost every day kinda bad. This was right about the time I started dating a girl I had met while I was working. She was awesome, smart, sexy, funny, smoked weed, got along with all my friends, and wanted nothing more to spend time with me doing absolutely nothing. Fuckin win.

Two months into things, I go off the fucking deep end. I'm getting black out drunk, doing copious amounts of cocaine, ecstasy, pretty much being a fucking degenerate. I turn into a raging asshole through out the whole process. I start saying really hurtful things to her, and in general just start being a complete prick to everyone. No, I never laid my hand on her, words can hurt a lot though. She left me needless to say, and honestly; I cant blame her. She really deserved better than what I was able to give to her at that time.

What did I learn from that? Coke is no good. It's not worth the short time that it's fun. I've been away from the powder for about 6 months now. I've seen a huge jump in my mood. I'm no longer an outright asshole, yea I make a lot of smartass remarks and such; its always in good fun though.

Fast forward to about a month ago. Again I meet this girl at my work, she's exactly like the girl before, smart, funny, sexy, has her life figured out. Fuckin win round 2. We go out on a couple dates, and I get to know her pretty well. We never spent a whole lot of time together, but when we did we always had a good time. Now in this point of my life, I'm still working in a restaurant, so after work what do I do? I go out to bars with my co-workers and enjoy some late night shenanigans and booze. Aint nothing wrong with that right? Especially when you're 22. (Little back story before I finish this thing off; the new girl is 24, has a career, and is pretty established so far in her life.)

So last week I see her, she seems distant. We talk, she tells me that we're in two completely different parts of our lives and that she just couldnt see a future with a guy who spent a majority of his nights going to bars with his friends. Or for that matter, someone that doesnt have his shit together like she does.

Fair enough, I really can't be mad at someone for being honest with me.

What have I learned from this past one? Doesnt matter how young you are, you can always work toward your professional goals. Does this mean I'm gonna stop going to bars? Fuck no! Does it mean I'm going to quit drink to excess at said bars? Absolutely. I don't want to be 35 working at a restaurant. I'm 22 with a bachelors degree, I should be doing more.

TL;DR: No matter how many times you get rejected and feel all butthurt. Evaluate what just happened. Look at all the pieces, not just "Oh god I did this, this and this for her, WHY CANT SHE LOVE ME!?"

Take something from every interaction you have, WITH EVERYONE. The moment you take your head out of your ass, the sooner you start seeing how fucking big this whole planet is, how many fucking opportunities you could be grabbing at.

Women come and go, you're the only constant in your life.

Get your shit together