Advice for 29 and never been on a date?

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-07-20T12:43:55+00:00

Whew! This is tough. You need ten years worth of advice otherwise you'll be taking a Howitzer to a knife fight here. (Somewhat) condensed version: be genuinely interested in her by asking great questions that lead her thinking to romantic topics & adventurous topics. Google great questions to ask on dates & write 'em down if you need to. (Use restroom to refresh your memory if you need to). Relax. Smug advice i know, so try this: when you get tense take 3 second breathes and exhale completely for 3 seconds. Oxygen calms you down. Key point here: when she's talking gaze softly into her eyes and have a small half-smile on your face as if you're thinking, "You are so cute, i just wanna kiss you right now". Pro tip: if the date is going well and she's giving you good eye contact and her gaze seems to be "dreamy" or you can tell she's into you, tell her this out loud and go in for a kiss. If she blushes or smiles, lean toward her and make her lean to meet you. If not, then smile and remain unfazed! Keep being laid back and enjoying her presence/conversation. She's not there yet, but if you keep doing things right that kiss will happen all on its own. Here's another pro tip: women are inductive amplifiers which means they pick up on your energy/vibe and if they like it and choose to, will amplify that energy back at you. So be relaxed, playful & focused on her. One thing i've always done on dates is the cube personality test. It's a great conversation piece and gives you a shitload of material to talk about if/when you draw a blank for conversation ideas. You can find it here: https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/quick-personality-test . Memorize the questions and memorize what the answers mean. You want to be able to tell her what her answers mean and not be like, "oops, i can't remember". Mood killer. Next, you'll have to memorize or write down her responses and be prepared to give your own answers when she asks you the same questions. This game is awesome because it offers you more insight into who she is as well as offering her a chance to learn more about herself! And it has the added benefit of giving you material to bust her chops on. Playfully tease her and her answers if you can, but never belittle or demean her. If you run out of talking points you can always refer back to the game: "so why do you think you _____?" (Fill in the blank with one of her answers and ask her to expand on it). Key point: dates for women aren't about logic, they are about emotional connection and the general feeling of being in your company. Your job is to build her trust in you by being calm, confident & collected. Never let your emotions get the best of you or get upset. If something doesn't go your way let it roll off your back like a gentle breeze and focus on enjoying her company. Make eye contact 80% of the time to build connection with her (exceedingly important!!!). If that makes you uncomfortable switch your gaze to her mouth for a few seconds. If you must look away then use what Leil Lowndes refers to as "taffy eyes", where you're trying to look away from her as if there's taffy connected to your eyes and hers and you're pulling your gaze away from hers.Try to softly touch her as appropriately as you can. Touch her hands, forearms (auto-correct wanted "firearms" & i was tempted to leave it, that shit's hilarious!) or the small of her back when guiding her places, but no more than 3-5 touches. Pro tip: you want her enjoying and anticipating your touch, but not being reviled by it (this is the heart of push/pull dynamics that requires expert use). Touch when the energy level is good (a laugh, a romantic connection, a strong verbal connection)- think of your touch as welcome punctuation. End of the night should have been building up in connection and romantic feelings and romantic energy so that you both know the kiss is coming. Be bold enough to desire her and go smoothly into the kiss without hesitation, but calmly and steadily. Go slow by giving her 3 seconds so that she knows it's coming and can prepare for it. Never kiss her by surprise. It reeks of desperation and erodes her trust in you. If the date wasn't filled with romance or strong emotional connection and feelings, there's still a chance for a kiss. If she pulls out her keys and holds them then you should try for a kiss. If she pulls out her keys and doesn't stand there or makes a bee-line for the door, do not ask for a second date. Also, if at any point she's rude to anyone or displays rotten behavior end.the.date.on.the.spot. Politely explain that you do not like her behavior and that the date is officially over. Offer to drive her home or make sure she has the means to get a taxi. Do not leave her on the spot no matter how big a piece of shit she is. This is about you and you are a gentleman who always makes sure the women in your company are safe even if you don't like them or their actions. If you're finding it exceedingly difficult to drive her home then just realize that if you ditch her and she ends up murdered on the side of the road, you are the prime suspect and could very well end up in prison if lack of evidence to exculpate you is found. Swallow your ego, anger, pride and be a man that you would want your future son to look up to and emulate. If she gets physically/verbally confrontational then call a taxi and stick around to talk to the driver so they can see you remaining calm and sending her safely on her way (possible future witness). Those are extreme cases, but be prepared. You'll do just fine if you relax and enjoy the moment and don't overthink things. It's ok to make mistakes, but go easy on yourself because she will be watching and taking queues from you and picking up on your energy and mirroring it back to you. Make sure she sees the right energy. Good luck, my dude!

King-Britton · 2021-07-20T11:59:43+00:00

If you aren’t already - hit the gym, eat well, have good hygiene, good haircut, nice well fitted clothes, be career driven, have cool hobbies that allow you to stand out, get good sleep, expose yourself socially - social clubs/dating apps and finally build your social circle - make lots of friends don’t hard focus on girls.

If you want me to go deeper into any of these topics let me know:)

Wizz_n_Jizz · 2021-07-20T15:13:30+00:00

Ever gone to McDonald’s with a friend?? This is the same situation but the only difference is that you will be asking your friend questions to get to know them better. After you ask a question, listen then respond. Stay in the moment & don’t let your mind wander. It really is just that simple. Good luck friend.

El_Marlin · 2021-07-20T23:45:51+00:00

Gonna make it easy on you:

-learn some openers + conversation topics -be playful -dont be disgusting

There's more to it than that but if you want more check out some good dating coaches online. There's plenty.

Edit: also, understand since you're going to be pretty new at this that your first date will most likely not be the one lol

PompousSchmuck · 2021-07-20T12:03:07+00:00

Well, it requires some work - if you're fat, literally work to loose it. Being good looking is very important. If your style is shit, improve it. Get a decent haircut, and stop jacking it.

Now that you're a functioning adult, we can start working on finding more friends, and maybe get women interested. If you're not a functioning man, you'll be only able to pull low quality women.

RussianBoa · 2021-07-21T06:23:45+00:00

Post a picture of yourself. A picture says a thousand words. We’ll have a better idea where to steer you. Even style-wise.

chanceplease · 2021-07-20T17:27:59+00:00

The first girl if shes more experienced than you will probably break your hurt.

And it will hurt so much more because you are older

Always be improving just because you got her doesnt mean its the finish line.

Sex is so much better than porn if u know how to do it right

1keentolearn12 · 2021-07-20T11:51:29+00:00

Are you a virgin as well ?

Sapthadhri · 2021-07-20T09:53:20+00:00

Set new self improvement goals---> work hard towards them---> automatically you will improve self esteem/ self respect ---> you will go from do I deserve them to do they deserve me

Everyone is dealt different cards + has made different amounts of progress, in the department of Money, Looks and Personality, etc. This combined with how well you make use of your cards is your total score. Set your self-improvement goals prioritizing the department you lack. Everything else will fall into place.

Pain_Tough · 2021-07-20T15:27:22+00:00

Ballroom dancing. Like 30 women show up, and like maybe 2-3 men.

noisex347420 · 2021-07-20T20:51:21+00:00

Find yourself a grandma,they know how to make ya feel loved, appreciated, and take care of you after you lay down the 🍆

Londonaxis · 2021-07-20T08:10:29+00:00

The right women will see you as high value. If they don't see you like that, you don't even want them as they're not right for you.

Spammer27 · 2021-07-20T11:18:49+00:00

Get a hooker

HeWokeMeUpAgainAgain · 2021-07-20T23:11:11+00:00

How do you know no woman has ever considered you attractive? It's more likely you've never recognized that a woman has found you attractive.

How do you approach women? Do you have female friends? I feel like I could answer your main question better with the answers to these questions.

ferchocolate · 2021-07-21T02:02:39+00:00

Man, just read Models by Mark Manson very complete book w/o bullsh*t

dildoshwagins3131 · 2021-07-21T05:37:48+00:00

Honestly man as crazy as this sound's I think you need to just jump straight in!

I'm sure people have given you great advice which can be incredibly helpful but it can also make any one individual over think. The last thing you want to do is get in your own head thinking about every little thing, all you will do is throw yourself off.

Honestly if you have a women who you are specifically interested in just play it cool, feel it out. At the end of the day it is all instinctual. If a situation feels awkward and the conversation isn't flowing it's not a you problem or a her problem individually it's a that person isn't suited for you which is fine.

You'll know when a girl is interested I think all you need to do is put yourself out there. Start talking to girl's, even if you build that confidence up over any of the "dating apps" just work on your talk game and you'll gain confidence just from that.

At the end of the day it always going to come down to the individual, as I said advice is great, tips are to but if you're using tips or advice you've been given and they don't reflect who you are as a person then you aren't being yourself and that's a recipe for disaster.

Hope this helps and always be confident and in control. That is by far the number one thing women find attractive.

H8beingmale · 2022-02-02T15:12:41+00:00

another reminder of what i can't stand

Title	Advice for 29 and never been on a date?
Author	Goulronk
Upvotes	26
Comments	41
Date	July 20, 2021 7:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/onxjny/advice_for_29_and_never_been_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-29-and-never-been-on-a-date.1280007 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280007

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