Are monogamous people more satisfied?

TofuTofu · 2013-04-08T12:06:04+00:00

According to a new study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, the association between monogamy and relationship outcomes depends upon the partners’ level of attachment anxiety

tl;dr: inner game dictates happiness, not whether you are monogamous or not

TheLonelyFox · 2013-04-08T13:20:07+00:00

I'd say as long as everyone is getting their needs met, it's the same level of satisfaction.

Jrix · 2013-04-08T14:58:48+00:00

Not sure why this study apparently focused only on homosexuals. You'd think there'd be differences.

The-Night-Fox · 2013-04-08T13:18:25+00:00

To quote a 21st century philosopher by the name of Kanye West:

"Love is cursed by monogamy."

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-04-08T12:54:23+00:00

So insecure people feel better when their partner agrees not to sleep with other people. Holy shit! In other news, the sky's blue and water's wet.

InfiniteBlink · 2013-04-08T16:10:50+00:00

There is actually a relevant component to seduction here.

More than a few times I hooked up with girls who were types I pinned for being more of the "anxious attached" types. They are very cautious about bestowing trust in another person and it's especially apparent when you move in for the f-close. There's a big wall put up by the last minute resistance.

I was really shocked when 3 separate girls said the same thing as I moved in: "I barely even know you!". We got along fairly well up to that point, good conversation, good kino and kissing, etc. "I barely know you!" was surprising to hear. A&A or negging weren't the appropriate response, since it never happened. I think what I should have said was something like, "You're the kind of girl that I'd really like to date." Because I think that establishes a sense of security. I couldn't personally say it because it would've been mostly dishonest (I would have been okay with giving dating a shot, but not immediately launching into a monogamous thing).

themauvestorm3 · 2013-04-08T20:41:10+00:00

All anecdotal:

Currently, I'm monogamous and satisfied but was single throughout high school and college. I had plenty of fun with many girls (All different kinds, from multiple girls at a time to disappointing HB5s on up to nearly HB10s).

I haven't seen any downsides in being in a relationship other than shark week and the old feeling I got from chasing tail and succeeding. Just take your time, be picky, and try out many different people until you find one that you really like - it seemed pretty natural to lock this one down.

Ineeni · 2013-04-08T20:44:17+00:00

Serial monogamy for the win?

Mrykst39 · 2013-04-08T22:23:26+00:00

In short, these results suggest that monogamy may not be universally beneficial to everyone and instead of arguing that everyone “should” act one way or another in relationships, we are probably better served by letting people select the type of relationship that’s right for them.

In other words, let people pursue their own love interests. Did we really need a study to prove this conclusion? Maybe I'm missing the profoundness of this article.

Or maybe it's just a load of old arse.

vuxanov · 2013-04-08T19:02:28+00:00

people who feel relatively insecure in their relationships and fear that their partner may leave), being sexually monogamous was associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction and commitment.

Person who would not like to be cheated on is happier if relationship is monogamous.

In contrast, for individuals with low levels of attachment anxiety (i.e., people who were not afraid of being abandoned), sexual exclusivity had no association with relationship satisfaction or commitment.

Person who doesn't care - doesn't care.

Did they really needed 1000 gay couples to come up with this?

Thiickshake · 2013-04-09T08:48:53+00:00

It depends on the person and your current state of mind IMO

lenut · 2013-04-08T21:02:13+00:00

As a poly male I feel this is very bias. I feel safe with my primary we have been together 8 years.

While I currently do not have a secondary partner I have very fulfilling sexual fwb relationship with her little sister.

This seems to me as propaganda did for the Nazis during ww2. People trying to sell me something I know in my heart is wrong. Monogamy is a creation of religion and being shamed in to something you hate because society is brainwashed into the idea of being a virgin until marriage. Because the one who takes you vcard should be your only sexual partner and there for you love them.

In the real world where real people live this is a rare thing. Most of us will have had many sexual partners and relationships before we marry.

If we marry at all. Personally I will never have kids of my own and am looking in to a vasectomy at the age of 21. I will probably never have a legal marriage because of the draw backs.

Divorce is expensive and they get half of your stuff or money.

Sex with the same person can get boring.

I came out as poly in mono world and lost most of my friends.

It is taboo to have sex with your gf's little sister but I do it anyway I feel its ok and they agree. Have you ever woke up to naked sisters on both arms I have and not one thing about it felt wrong.

Fuck monogamy I was born poly I love 2 beautiful women so what I don't have to pick one I pick both. I love each in a different way but I love them both 100%

For those who say monogamy is the only way guess what thats your opinion based on how you were raised. Not everybody is the same. Get used to it because after the whole gay rights thing is passed poly rights will be coming and there as many of us as there are of you.

westlib · 2013-04-08T13:53:44+00:00

tl;dr: Most of the time, no.

Title	Are monogamous people more satisfied?
Author	TheMightyImprov
Upvotes	105
Comments	48
Date	April 8, 2013 12:00 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bwupe/are_monogamous_people_more_satisfied/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-monogamous-people-more-satisfied.1350260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350260

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