Imagine if a girl randomly said to you: you seem like you’re from California.

(Assume for this example that you’re from anywhere except California).

You’d be like: “why do you think that?” Or “what makes you say that?”

Your response is just a knee-jerk reaction. It’s human nature to want to know why someone thinks something about us when there’s no apparent reason.

This is particularly true with women. Think about how much effort women put into their appearance. All that effort and then you’re randomly like: “you seem like you’re from California.”

Her mind will instantly be scanning through the possibilities of why you would think that: is it my hair, my dress, the way I’m talking, etc, etc.

She will want to know (just like you would want to know) why you think that.

Now think about what would happen if she wouldn’t tell you why she thinks you’re from California? She just changes the subject and moves on.

Would the assumption disappear? No. It would just be lingering there. Unfinished. Something for your subconscious to chew on while you two discuss other things.

And most likely, whether you want to admit it or not, you’re going to bring it up again later.

On the flip side, women will always bring it up again later. And you know what she will subconsciously be thinking about the whole time, before bringing it back up?

You.

So here’s how you do it.

You: “you know, you seem like you’re from LA.”

Her: “what makes you say that?”

You: “I don’t know...(looking like you’re really thinking about it)...there’s just something about you....I’m not sure...

You: “hey have you ever heard of Kaisen?”

Her: “what’s that?”

You: “it’s where you make small improvements to something everyday, and eventually it adds up to a lot.”

Her: “is that what you do?”

You: “Yeah actually last week I started...” (and then you go into some story)

It’s as simple as that. You make an assumption. Then when she asks about it, you defer the answer and create a cliffhanger. Rest assured, she has not forgotten the assumption. Her subconscious is chewing on it. She’s curious about it, which makes her curious about YOU.

The second thing you did was: change the subject. This is one of the simplest things you can start doing right away to avoid those “awkward silences” guys worry so much about.

Attraction is not logical. Attractive conversation does not have to go in any logical order. In fact, logical conversation is often boring. And boring is not attractive.

So change the subject at random, with no hesitation. It’s a great technique so you never get stuck and always have something to say.

Another thing you did in the above conversation was: tell her somethings about yourself.

Guys will often be hesitant to do this (particularly at the initial, smalltalk stage of a conversation) because they get hung up on: “will she be interested in that,” “will she think that’s stupid,” etc.

If you take one thing away from this post, it’s that when you need something to say, you can always just tell her something random about yourself. It doesn’t matter what. One thing will lead to another, and conversation will ensue.

So what kind of assumptions should you make?

You can make assumptions about anything. The key is to make sure they’re wrong (or at least not obviously right).

For example if your in a bar in LA talking to a chick, and you’re like: “you seem like you’re from LA.” She’s gonna look at you like you’re an idiot.

However if you say that in a bar in New York, then it works.

Now what if you happen to be right, when it’s not obvious.

For example you drop the LA line in New York and her face lights up and she’s like: “how did you know?”

Or you make the assumption: “you seem like a yoga girl to me.” (Obviously you would say this when she WASN’T all decked out in yoga gear). And she’s like: “Yeah totally. I’m an instructor down at Orange Theory.”

In these cases you happen to have assumed right, but it wasn’t obvious. So just go with it.

You: “what are your 3 favorite things about LA?”

You: “what are the 3 biggest benefits to yoga that you would tell a new student?”

This brings up another misconception I see all the time. There’s this notion floating around that you shouldn’t ask chicks questions. That questions are boring. That’s complete nonsense. How are you going to learn anything about someone if you don’t ask a question?

Boring questions are boring.

Boring questions are ones that seek short, yes/no type answers. They are the ones that cause you to constantly have to think of more questions.

For example if you said to the LA chick in NY, “so you like LA?” Her response: “it’s ok.”

Now that’s boring. Your question required no real thought to answer. And now you need another question.

But if you ask for her 3 favorite things about LA, now she has to think.

Now you will get an answer with some substance to it. And any of the three things she brings up can be the next point of conversation.

For example she says (and I’d hope you’d get more of a response than this, but let’s just pretend she keeps it short like this): “Sun. Sand. And all the sexy people.”

You (bad response): “that’s cool.”

You (good response): “So whats the difference between LA sexy people and NY sexy people? Give me details.”

Your good response is yet another question that requires her to think and come up with an answer of substance.

Your bad response just leads to awkward silence and you fumbling around for what to say next.

You’ve heard everywhere that women like men who are challenging. Well what is challenging? Is it challenging her to an arm wrestling match?

No.

It’s making her think. When you make her think, you’re challenging.

Assumptions, cliffhangers and questions seeking substance make her think. That’s challenging. That’s attractive.

If she’s responding to you with short answers, it means she doesn’t have to think. That’s boring. Which means you’re boring.

So incorporate the: “what are 3 things” line into your conversational arsenal.

You can ask the 3 things question for just about anything.

Once you do that, as well as start using the other conversation techniques discussed about, you’ll be well on your way to making Endless Conversation.

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