clueless on texting, general advice?

throwamac · 2017-01-16T05:05:26+00:00

Up votes for relevance to my own interests

Pitchfork51 · 2017-01-16T05:27:57+00:00

Text to meet up

Texting screws things up more than it helps

Obviously that's a generalization but most people do it way too much.

iZaxer · 2017-01-16T05:31:19+00:00

Fluff with her until you think she's comfortable enough to agree to a date.

Its hard to give specific advice to your situation over Reddit, you might try looking into a specific text critique site like https://Hermes.social

GrandMasterStevey · 2017-01-16T12:58:20+00:00

All I can say is it really helps if you have the social intelligence to gauge your relationship with this person and also gauge her interest in you . If you don't know then find out . Ask her to hangout , be personable and genuinely get to know her. After you're comfortable with each other , texting becomes easy.

Once you're sure you have her attention and she's genuinely interested just text exactly how you would talk in person but if it doesn't seem interesting or fun , maybe just rephrase it for the intended effect.

Hope I can help and good luck.

bones_and_love · 2017-01-16T10:54:19+00:00

One tip for someone new to the whole thing is try to have some expected positive out of what you're saying. Don't just text into a vacuum. That positive can be anything from making her laugh, making her curious about you, finding out her schedule, to actually securing a meet up.

Not to make it overly formal, but when you go into a text with a small expectation, you can see the difference between what you planned for and how it turned out. It can help you reform any wrong expectations you might have. It also causes your texts to have more impact since they were sent with some result in mind.

Whatever you're trying to do, try to keep in short to avoid needing too much attention out of someone who is on the fritz about giving you any attention at all. If you don't see your convo ending in a few back and forths and a few minutes (if there were no delay between texts, delay is fine tho), then it's probably too complex to be doing over text this early.

Red_Ripple · 2017-01-16T12:40:51+00:00

Texting is difficult because it is literally just words with no delivery, tone, pitch etc. so it's hard to get a message across.

I've found, and heard, that using emoticons is almost always bad except the winking face. Personally I never use them anyway and have good reactions to my texts. Furthermore, using full stops can be bad during texts as for some reason it comes off as standoffish. e.g. "I had fun tonight" vs. "I had fun tonight."

Next, text as little as possible: Once you get their number, text them something fun: e.g. Hey it's that moron from tinder/okc (without mentioning a name). Then immediately set up a meet/date and STOP texting. Obviously don't flat out ignore them but let the conversation die if it is dying.

Next time you text them should only be if they are late to your date, don't text them before or remind them or anything like that. It's their job to remember and texting them a reminder makes it seem like you get stood up a lot.

lonewolf-chicago · 2017-01-16T06:12:44+00:00

/r/iZaxer is correct. Keep it light, playful, funny, relaxed, let her know where you'll be, ask her to join you.

I did this until I got sick of her excuses and then I told her to meet me at a bar - she showed up and it was a fun evening. She ultimately was not for me, too used and abused... but it worked. If providing an opportunity doesn't work out - tell her to meet you.

TheXXL · 2017-01-16T15:02:07+00:00

Texting can be a very powerful tool if in the right hands. For instance i have had women who got extremely attached to me after i started to tell them very sexual and in detail what i would do to them if they were here right now.

While i also have fucked up many texting attempts and stepped into shit by writing something and the other side not knowing the context. I am sure there are many texting guides to go with, but as someone unexperienced like you, you should not put too much weight into it, but use it as a tool to figure out date times/places and her availability to meet. Later then, when you get more and more sure of what you are doing there, you can start experimenting with different styles.

A good thing to start with is to try take her perspective, try to read your text like you are her, without the knowledge what you mean. This way you can avoid needy texts, overtexting and many other surefire ways to scare her off.

RenegadeMuso · 2017-01-16T16:38:02+00:00

my view on texting in general is don't text to get to know her. Use texting to sort out logistics to meet with her face to face. Text with purpose...that is, to set up the date.

TKNims · 2017-01-16T08:55:32+00:00

From all the comments, I see that you should only text to make plans. I met a girl on Friday, kinda broke right now so can only see her after I get paid. We have already discussed meeting up soon, but nothing set in stone. Should I just ignore her til then?

-Hawky- · 2017-01-16T13:38:27+00:00

Usually less is more

ghostofafrog · 2017-01-16T17:27:36+00:00

It depends on her, too. She might be bad at texting or she might be foreign and maybe not used to texting so she might seem disinterested or not get sarcasm or seem more flirty than sje intends to be.

I knew a girl who was a 10, honestly, completely out of my league. Flirty in person, ruthlessly dumb over text. I found out later that it was b/c she has no personality, and I was merely too distracted by her looks in person to realize that. Still, depends on the girl I think.

Being "good at texting" comes with practice talking to girls in-general. And if youre a guy who uses slapstick or goofy humour, (or if youre Adonis and only use your body, although idk why you'd be on r/seduction RN, go get laid you lucky SOB) you start with a handicap.

lItsAutomaticl · 2017-01-16T17:27:39+00:00

If you're not comfortable or not experienced, err on the side of texting less. I wouldn't worry too much about texting, because as you cultivate a good mentality about dating texting will come naturally. That being said, I would not recommend avoiding texting like some people recommend; it's a pretty easy & natural way to communicate in 2017.

matrix2002 · 2017-01-16T19:04:26+00:00

Like others have said, texting for fluff/attraction this early is usually a bad idea.

Your issue is that she sounds like she may be the only girl you are pursuing at the moment.

When you only have one girl that is in "in the queue" so to speak, you spend too much time thinking about her and putting too much effort into her.

You need to meet more girls. It all depends on what you want, but even if your goal is a stable long term relationship, this stage is remarkably the same as for a guy who wants to date several girls at one time.

You meet women, some turn into first dates, fewer turn into second dates, even fewer turn into casually dating, and, if you are looking for a long term monogamous relationship, one of these girls will turn into the one you want.

Or you stop dating one of them and keep looking, but the point is that there should be several girls "in the queue" so to speak in various stages of dating.

Regardless, you need to meet more girls.

balkoth666 · 2017-01-16T19:54:07+00:00

Slide in NLP. Keep all conversations light. Don't write long paragraphs. Don't reply immediately unless she replies immediately. Try to find a time and place to meet up with every conversation eventually.

Jack__Knife · 2017-01-16T20:01:58+00:00

http://cdn.txtgame.s3.amazonaws.com/The_Text_Book_Excerpt.pdf

bigredchewinggum · 2017-01-17T00:17:15+00:00

Okay, all the people here who always just say "text only to make plans" got it all wrong.

You gotta just feel out the situation. Some girls like to text A LOT. My current FWB likes to text all day and share memes and shit. Some not so much. Sometimes if you don't text her she might forget about you or you might forget about her (happens to me with girls I match with on tinder). If you text ONLY to set up dates, she might forget because you made plans to meet up for friday on tuesday and she hasn't heard from you since. She might think you're flaking.

That being said. You should always be busy and not really think that much about texting. It's not a big deal if you can't reply right away. Reply when you can. Don't reply lil .2 seconds after every single text you get.

I always keep texting light, flirty, funny, and cocky/funny when it's called for. Don't talk about serious shit. Don't vent to her about how shitty your day is going. Girls just wanna have fun. Never forget that. When you text you should be sending texts you think she's gonna smile or laugh about.

In the beginning stages too when talking to a girl you can turn the convo sexual and get her to send/snapchat you nudes.. Which is usually a green light that she wants to fuck you.

Texting can be great as long as you're not having pussy drying conversations with it.

I_Luv_Procastinating · 2017-01-16T06:55:54+00:00

/u/Pitchfork51 is correct. Strictly use texting for logistics (where & when). Keep in mind, I didn't include "what & why" for a reason. You shouldn't tell the girl what the fun plan (or at least not the full plan) is because by doing so, it ruins the surprise, mystery, and only gives her leeway to reject the plan.

Assuming you already talked to her face to face and gotten her number that way, she already has a good impression of you. You don't need to mess it up by overtexting or texting stupid shit.

Literally where and when. Then completely stop communication with her.

bubba2match · 2017-01-16T17:19:28+00:00

Expectation management. Come from a place of high-value, confidence, authenticity, etc. Emphasize your strengths, even in texting. (Look at texting as a whole, and place yourself on a scale that makes you look better.) If your confidence and strength lie in meeting face-to-face, in a coffee bar, after a light meal, after daily exercise, in a specific pair a shorts, with a smile on your face, after texting for the meetup, then do all that. Those are just examples. Insert your own scenario that puts you on top. Text game is inherently invasive and intimate. You're getting a message directly to a person whether they like it or love it (or sometimes not). Act appropriately to the person you're texting, and to yourself (that stuff I said above about right place, right time, right everything). Texting is an art as well as a tool, and means to an end. Keep your goal in mind, while minding the person. Then let go of your expectations if they are getting in the way. “Ask not the elves for advice, because they will tell you both 'yes' and 'no'.” - J.R.R. Tolkein

Title	clueless on texting, general advice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	64
Comments	26
Date	January 16, 2017 4:54 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5o8vjk/clueless_on_texting_general_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/clueless-on-texting-general-advice.1418660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1418660

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