Conversation skills (Especially what to talk about in the first 5 minutes)?

IANAPUA_Yet · 2012-08-09T16:12:41+00:00

Would it then be okay to move onto talking about where she is from, college etc.?

Those are "comfort" topics. If you go there before she's attracted to you, it's unlikely she'll ever become attracted to you.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-08-09T17:05:58+00:00

There is a particularly good document from Love Systems called "the first 3 to 5 minutes." Google it, I would link to it but I'm on my phone. Also the book Magic Bullets is pretty much definitive on conversational strategies.

DirtypairKOG · 2012-08-09T17:40:00+00:00

Personally, I'm a fan of Pook and usually head straight into something fun. You have to understand that while the girl looks exciting and entertaining to you, (being the Nice Guy you are), she is probably at least somewhat bored sitting by herself or with friends. Honestly, women go out with friends to be seen, and to socialize, therefore you must understand that she wants you to approach her. Some of my best and most comfortable approaches have consisted of an introduction, "Want to play a game?" (Which is almost always responded to enthusiastically), and then launch into the cube, or any random, entertaining game of your choice. I believe that this works because it immediately focuses the girls entire perspective of you down to fun, and this is an ideal platform to begin to identify yourself as a potential sexual interest, rather than her new friend. You also manage to remain a mystery, which is good because it builds, and i quote SirMcquade, tension rather than comfort.

frogma · 2012-08-09T23:40:29+00:00

Teasing is the main thing I do.

Would it then be okay to move onto talking about where she is from, college etc.?

I usually do this too, just because it's easy and usually opens up to other stuff, but even then, I'm still teasing her about random shit (maybe her school was a rival to mine, maybe her state is stereotyped for whatever reason, maybe she's being overly talky/quiet, so I can tease her about that).

Once the teasing starts, assuming she's cool with it, it generally leads to "banter," where you're both being pretty playful, with some sexual undertones.

If you want high risk, high reward, tease her about personal/visual shit, like her looks, or her dress, or some other thing that's personally significant to her (if she mentions that she wants to be a teacher, make fun of that profession).

If you want medium risk, medium reward, tease her about her school/city, or if she's with some friend who's drunk or something, make some joke about the friend.

If you want low risk, low reward, tease her about one of the things mentioned above, but make it as impersonal as possible (like you're not necessarily teasing her, you're just making a humorous observation about the topic/situation).

Certain topics can cover the whole range -- let's say she trips and falls. A HR/HR (high risk, high reward) move would be to directly make fun of her for it, basically like what a middle schooler would do. If you're more mature than that, you probably wouldn't do something like that, but it can definitely work in the right situation.

For the same example, a MR/MR situation would be if you make light of the fact that she fell -- the focus is still on her, but you're not "belittling" her for it.

A LR/LR situation would be if you blame her fall on the crack in the sidewalk, or whatever other bullshit. This is something I never do (I used to all the time, mainly in high school when I was a little bitch and was afraid of offending girls). It'll still get her to giggle and shit, but you create absolutely zero tension, so there's basically no point in saying it except to fill the silence.

You generally want to stay in the "medium" zone, with some "highs" and "lows" mixed in.

what i am looking for is content/topics to talk about in the first 5 minutes.

The reason I talked about teasing is because it's generally important (at least for me, being more of a playful/immature guy). Content's not very important at all. If you want to develop some "deeper" content, ask about her passions (or anything related to that, where she's basically required to give a more in-depth answer). The topic is completely insignificant -- you can talk about your dogs, find some common ground there, and build a deeper conversation from that. You can talk about virtually any topic and steer it in a good direction if you're paying attention to what she says and responding accordingly. Main point is, it's not really about the content/topic of your conversation. What's much more important is the undertone of that conversation, which won't necessarily be represented by the words coming out of your mouth. Changing topics isn't gonna change shit, unless you start talking about sexual stuff or girlfriend/boyfriend stuff.

SemajSemajSemaj · 2012-08-09T16:13:12+00:00

Try to use anything the environment around you?

2012-08-10T07:15:45+00:00

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puacobra · 2012-08-10T01:09:26+00:00

The trick is to not make it an interview. Don't ask closed questions like "what do you study?" ask open questions that demand a longer response. For example "why do you study that"? or "how do you find it"?.

MrNutty · 2012-08-10T02:46:09+00:00

this might, help it talks about what you are asking https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:AnRfiZstwhcJ:www.getattraction.com/downloads/TheMysteryMethod-ExtraChapter.pdf+mystery+method+online+pdf&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESgITX3RW_yrg6H7jVv9YS-Y0am8zOA-1uJcVSxH4Ey5KNex_NheAuxmIPVZLN4lFHvAvDCOSnRy__YjBCjQTAh-cZFqeDTIxdI91NLMFH2mZq_0sP7RLWTRrI4A4yCL-5W9iNgW&sig=AHIEtbQBV9Kb7e4TV3vUnnG-kfOCgmFF_w&pli=1

you want to start from page 7. It talks a little about opener, then goes onto the transaction to normal conversation and so on.

Short Answer: After the opener, notice something about them and talk to them about it.

sedguy · 2012-08-10T14:20:26+00:00

What opener(s) do you use?

Title	Conversation skills (Especially what to talk about in the first 5 minutes)?
Author	EnuchJelly
Upvotes	49
Comments	63
Date	August 9, 2012 3:12 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xxx9i/conversation_skills_especially_what_to_talk_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/conversation-skills-especially-what-to-talk-about.1337025 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337025

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