Im in the process of finding myself again in the world of dating (27M). Apart from my high school girlfriend, I only got together with women on dating apps. I was quite good at it during uni years, having dates, sometimes multiple dates lined up every week. Then I found my girlfriend with whom I spent 3 lovely years.

2 years have passed since the break up and I felt and experienced like I dont have the game in me anymore. So I started to work on it, find out why and how to improve (confidence, low self valuation and sometimes trying to hard, exercising). I deleted all social media (including dating apps) to try myself out in real situations. Actually this is the first time I try it out with serious intentions. Of course I had some flings in clubs while drunk but I think that does not count.

Fast forward this weekend, we hit up our local bar with a friend to chill out and there is this cute bartender girl. I notice she is into making jokes with me so I follow along. We have some chat too but then I leave it at that cuz I wasn’t there to talk to her, but to my friend. When we leave and I say stay strong as good bye, she mentions she will be working tomorrow too.

Next day, kinda intentionally we go there again on a Friday night with a different group of friends. She already waves to me, that felt so good. We head in, her and I start joking again about last night, I share my plans to her for the night, little chat and then I go over to my friends to hang out. Eventually we need to hit the road as we were going to a party, I pay my tab and say goodbye, to which she tells me again she will be working tomorrow as well. I wanted to get her number but felt inappropriate with so many customers at the counter.

The next day, I go there alone, I take a look from the street and she is there, probably with her boss. I instantly start to panic a little, am I able to pull this off like that? I would be like the only customer. I spend some time to calm down, smoked a cigarette and listened to some music. Then I go in, the whole interaction goes smoothly, flirty and I felt so confident in the fact that she likes the situation too. I asked for a pen and wrote a note to her to give me something where I could reach her. Suddenly her boss goes out for a cigarette and the perfect opportunity presents itself. I still hand her the note, she reads it and says she has no social media but can give me her number or facebook. I ended up having both. I also introduced the idea that I would like to invite her out for a famous apple juice bar sometimes (obv joke), she agreed to it. Then I left the bar to meet up with others.

Now we are arranging a meetup, we said we would figure it out today, I called her, she did not pick up, now I feel like I shouldn’t worry, if she calls or texts back great, if she doesn’t, I dont want to imbalance this right off the bat. There are plenty of other possibilities out there.

The feeling of adrenalin, the interaction, the jokes, everything is just so much better when you are doing this offline.