Dealing with shock on approach

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-05-08T01:36:58+00:00

terrible opener man; dont hit on them in the first 3s of the interaction that is not a good strat,

openers should be sincere, spontaneous, curious, funny, does that sound like "" hey I think you are cute""

liftingnstuff · 2025-05-08T04:09:18+00:00

"This is a a bit forward" is better than "Kinda random"

"Kinda random" you sound unsure of yourself.

Slow down, breathe, speak slowly and with your diaphragm so your voice is deeper.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-08T05:29:43+00:00

20 and 30+ is also a pretty decent age gap from her pov. I'm in my 30s and a 20 year old might look like a 10th grader to me because I'm not around many 20 year olds and also do not pursue college aged women as I prefer a more mature woman, usually 25+ at a minimum. She might have been confused why a guy who may look like a high schooler to her would be trying to hit on her.

carlos11111111112 · 2025-05-09T01:03:52+00:00

Try slowing down and say excuse me also use pauses

“Excuse me…. I thought you looked gorgeous….im Mike” extend hand say it really slow

It’s ok many woman will get scared. You can’t let it affect your vibe, you need a really strong frame out there.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-05-08T23:39:11+00:00

The simpler the better and the situational opener works best than a straight compliment:

“Hey you look familiar”

“I like your outfit/sneakers/watch”

“Is that what I think it is?” Pointing to her watch or whatever

“I know this is kinda random.” You sound like you talk to yourself trying to give yourself a good excuse instead of actually talking to her. She never says anything about whether what you’re doing is random or not. Even if you wanna lower her guard, the false time restraint works better: “I’m gonna be quick” or “just a quick question…”
“I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi” what if she said “ok… hi to you, too” Mission accomplished then? This is why a situational opener works better most of the time because it can lead the way to talk about something else after the opener.

Living_Promotion9714 · 2025-05-08T01:37:10+00:00

You could have said "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" with a smile while backing away from her and then see if she calms down or not. If she doesn't, yeah eject.

jackthehat6 · 2025-05-08T14:51:22+00:00

are you in the UK or something??

sole21000 · 2025-05-08T22:19:47+00:00

From what angle did you approach? How long before you spoke did she see you? At what distance did you make eye contact and how long after did you begin speaking? I could think of ways each of these could shock someone.

hghg432 · 2025-05-12T04:09:51+00:00

Best advice i can give you is open in an organic way ie the interaction should feel socially acceptable at first. Then you can test her vibe and start flirting. But coming out of nowhere and being direct is high risk if the social setting is like a random sidewalk on the street. She has no idea who you are so in her mind her defences are automatically up

theBlunt0neAMA · 2025-05-13T17:03:02+00:00

Why would you want to get rid of the approach anxiety? It's just the thrill of the hunt. I've done thousands of approaches and now I'm married with 3 kids and I miss it. I still go out with younger friends to watch them approach. Enjoy it while you can.

Title	Dealing with shock on approach
Author	apeacad
Upvotes	23
Comments	25
Date	May 8, 2025 1:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kheb73/dealing_with_shock_on_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-shock-on-approach.1551749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551749

Comments