How to build a strong frame?

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-21T11:46:10+00:00

my dear brother, you're on the right track.

you can't emulate anyone else's lines or techniques. you have to be you first and foremost.

social interactions is not a performance. you should not aim to be the star of the show. everyone involved in the interaction should be involved, you should encourage involvement and listen attentively. make people feel valued. pick your moments to speak, but don't shy away from letting others contribute and play off of what they say.

i made the transition myself over many years, and i can say you seem to have the right mindset for progress. sorry the advice is vague but it really is a style only you can employ. good luck.

TarantulaWhisperer · 2022-09-21T13:35:48+00:00

Look for one of those wrought iron antique beds at an estate sale. The bed I have looks like it's from the Civil War era but you could have a raging orgy and she will stay strong the course. Just saying...You can not break this thing trust

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-21T12:48:45+00:00

First of all, it doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. The process is that you have to continuously challenge yourself in different situations and face your fears so you can get over them. The less fear you have, the more assured you are and the more you get to know the real you under the Mayer of anxiety and phobias.

So how do you identify the things you are afraid of? It is always the stuff that you actively or subconsciously avoid. It can be as little as a waitress ignoring you or overcharging you at a restaurant and you just pretending it didn't happen because you don't want to be "rude" and cause a scene. It could be when your boss is rude to you and you don't say anything back because you are afraid of confrontation. It could be avoiding talking to a girl who has given you some choosing signals because you are afraid you may have misinterpreted them and don't want to make a fool of yourself.

As you can see, your brain is very good at rationalizing your avoidant behavior. You don't want to be rude, make a scene, be known as difficult, or be the creepy guy who hit on a girl who is not interested. All of these are excuses that keep you from facing your fears.

So you have to first become conscious of how and what you avoid and then actively take steps to not avoid it. The only way is through. Avoiding fear and anxiety will ensure they keep bothering you.

The same applies to whenever people disrespect you or act dismissive towards you. You may be afraid to stand up because people will get upset, etc. Perhaps a girl has been blowing you off about hanging out with you. But you don't want to call her out on it because what do you upset her and then you lose all your chances with her? So you grin and bare it. Well, you have to make up your mind to stop avoiding confrontation and if she doesn't like it then be it. Tell her, look I have you a chance, you don't want to hang out then this is a hard no for me. Bye.

So keep doing this and every time you challenge a fear or you stand up for yourself, your confidence and self assuredness will grow until you feel very comfortable with yourself.

Skizznitt · 2022-09-21T16:13:41+00:00

It takes constant, never ending physical, mental and emotional improvement. It's something that has no "end result," so you don't just stop one day and say you've made it, you always look for new ways to improve upon what you've built already. You have to be willing to sacrifice things that aren't bringing value to your life for things that do. Eventually, like you said, you start to develop a strong sense of self, you become confident in your actions because you know what's right for you and what's not. Any decision becomes a simple question of will this improve my life or detract from it.

Archyblackcat · 2022-09-21T16:11:06+00:00

Set your boundaries and don’t let no one pass them including girls .. get really fit to gain more confidence about a possible confrontation.. learn how to take rejection

Strong_Jeff · 2022-09-21T17:49:07+00:00

Not a pro here, but Ive been trying to do something similiar. Here is what helped me get going. 1. I set up goals that improve myself - working out to have a certain physique is a good example, or learning something that can positively improve your career. (Maybe getting MBA for business job or something similiar, dont have to start that big tho) I personally just started college. 2. Make habbits that will lead you to your goal. Mines are: working out 4 times a week, doing cardio 2 times a week. Learning, improving my discipline in all areas of my life, being punctual, having a certain image of standards and habbits and then behaving accordingly to them will improve your whole self. And then the standards and habbits will set a certain picture of you on display for the others (basically how others will see you). My question that could help you understand what im trying to say is - what do you think of a guy who works hard 6x times a week, weights his meals, studies, has a certaing goal in mind, keeps his word, strongly believes in himself yet he is nice and kind to others? What im trying to say that following habbits and all that stuff I just mentioned make you appear a certain way to public. You can affect how they will see you by simply changing those habbits. BUT youll never be able to make 100% of the people look at you the way you want and there will always be someone who will act as a douchebag and wont give you enough recognition for what you do or what you have done.

NOTE: Im not trying to flex with ammount of exercise and stuff, I simply thought that giving myself as an example could help you understand my reply better. However I wouldnt say that one of my major goals are to improve my frame and the identity, I just noticed that what Ive written can help improve identity/personality/how others see you as a side effect to achieving my actual goals.

Liberaler · 2022-09-21T12:50:48+00:00

Live on the edge of your comfort zone. You'll get a strong frame by "sparring", taking joy in challange, friction and confrontation.

Smiggins · 2022-09-21T21:07:37+00:00

I'm working on this too and here's some of the things I believe are currently helping me progress. This has helped me stay much more relaxed than I used to be in social interactions as well as let me be myself and enjoy the moment....you will only get so many of them in life.

-A bit nihilistic but my perspective is we are all insignificant blimps of consciousness from the view of the universe. So why would I care about how others react to me? There's always almost always a way to move on from that negativity.

-Confidence in yourself isn't about doing something correctly, its knowing if you do something incorrect that you will learn from it.

-The goal of most social situations is just to enjoy yourself/have fun. If I'm attracted to another in the same social interactions mostly the only change is the addition of flirting.

-Self evaluation, I think it is important to spend some time actually trying to figure yourself out. What values do you hold, what could cause them to change, are you being open minded? Where do you stand on morals? When was the last time you were a hypocrite with your morals? Do you need to reevaluate them? Sometimes I dedicate specific windows of time to think about this (usually when a conflict as arised), but sometimes it's when I'm jogging, fishing, hiking, driving, or whenever I spend some random time by myself.

-Being uncomfortable and doing something anyways is an important skill to have. I can think of many examples where this has helped me and I've learned how much of being uncomfortable is just the fact of it being "unknown". I believe having this skill can open many more doors in our lives.

caesarfecit · 2022-09-21T18:36:15+00:00

Strong frame is really about three things - emotional maturity/regulation, being more invested in yourself than in the opinions of others, and communicating for the right reasons.

Most people get into trouble with their frames because they're over-extending. They let their mouth run away from them, they let their insecurities get triggered, or they try too hard to impress.

To me strong frame is about having faith in what you do know, accepting what you do not know, and having a value offering rather than value taking mindset.

An important thing to balance with strong frame is to remember the essence of charm - helping people feel good about themselves. You want to attract women? Help a woman feel like her ego soars as she gets closer to you, rather than the opposite.

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-09-21T22:30:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Golden_Golem · 2022-09-21T18:39:28+00:00

Stop watching porn and retain your seed.

VanillaCider2021 · 2022-09-21T20:50:41+00:00

I recommend you focus on yourself and make decisions that will improve your life. Something like starting a business or chasing a dream. Find a challenging goal for yourself. These things are not easy and if you keep working hard then you will naturally build a strong frame.

I started a business and I really struggled for a few years. When I finally made it I was the most confident guy in the world. Everyone could see it and I suddenly felt like a high value man.

-Focus on yourself

-Work hard at building or creating something

- Accept failure and learn from you mistakes

-Don't give up

-When you make it reap the rewards and always stay humble

-You will have a strong frame and you're game with women will improve

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-09-21T13:57:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

zapadz · 2022-09-21T14:08:31+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMoND57FLMI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2gt5UuAzps

Erbium-Oxide · 2022-09-21T22:06:12+00:00

It seems to me like you’re comparing your inner with their outer. It’s no wonder you come up short when you compare true yourself to the facade put up by a charismatic extrovert in a social setting. These are watermelons and beans.

While I am, because reasons, really shit at reading social settings and interacting with larger groups, you’d never know at a dinner table, or in a one-on-one conversation. I don’t like people all that much, but projecting confidence goes a long way.

A more practical tip: Smiling can heavily affect your mood. Try it, both before and during conversation.

neversleeps212 · 2022-09-21T22:44:35+00:00

This is where the importance of self improvement and inner game comes into play. Being a confident person with a strong sense of self worth isn’t a role you play or a costume you put on. It’s more than lines or routines or “moves” you put on a girl on a date.

Others have addressed this at length in this subreddit so to keep it brief, it’s basically about addressing negative beliefs and fears and working through those while also developing real strengths ground your confidence in. The other key aspect is simply exposure. If you want to get more comfortable say speaking up in your workplace, start by being the guy who asks a question in the meeting. Nobody starts out being the person giving a 45 minute presentation.

EmptyBarrel · 2022-09-22T02:28:46+00:00

An L joint at some right angles secured from all corners. Triangles also create strong joints.

quietsam · 2022-09-22T03:27:26+00:00

Think you’re the shit and you’ll be the shit. A healthy amount of delusion is okay if it has a net positive in your life.

You are the shit. Know this.

BensonInFL · 2022-09-21T21:40:26+00:00

How to build a strong frame?

Or has anybody actually made the transition?

I made the transition by understanding the world through abundance instead of scarcity, and also by believing that I bring more value to the table in any interaction. There is an inherent idea that its okay if your gf dumps you, or lose your job, because there is a better one around the corner. That you are doing them a favor by staying and contributing your value, instead of leaving for something else.

For myself this was only done after enough experiences. For girls, for the first 5, I many times had the feeling that I wouldn't be able to find a girl as good as the one I'm currently with. It wasn't until the 20th different girl I had sex with, that I realized that while I will not find the exact girl again, there are always new and different girls that are going to have other awesome attributes that this particular girl doesn't have.

-B

Title	How to build a strong frame?
Author	RokuroMonsuta
Upvotes	99
Comments	38
Date	September 21, 2022 11:35 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xk2eym/how_to_build_a_strong_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-build-a-strong-frame.1249614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249614

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