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[–]Chicagoj1563 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The whole idea is to try something out and see what works for you. Experiment. If you find openers online that are useful, fine, but think of what feels natural to you. Try it out. And remember, its your vibe and how you respond to her reaction that really matters.
[–]Perfect_War5446 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay 👍
[–]hunterpua 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
If you're inexperienced then its fine to do that just to get yourself started but it's not the best way of doing things.
I would actually advise it because one of the biggest things most guys who lack dating experience struggle with is showing interest and showing their sexual side in general. But once you get comfortable doing that, move on from it and refine your ability to communicate with and seduce women further.
You should strive to get so good at flirting and seduction that it won't matter whether she thinks you have sexual intentions for her or not because she'll have sexual intentions for you.
And that's actually what it is to seduce. Showing intentions quickly will put you in the position of courting her, not seducing her. You're essentially the one being drawn to her. Seduction is when you're drawing the other person to you.
And it's not just about getting an ego trip from a girl chasing you for sex/a relationship. Its also about creating a more solid connection with a girl because you can only value something you put in effort for and if you're the one who is trying to win a girl over and all she has to do is say yes or no then there's virtually no effort from her side, which is why most guys who try to win women over always feel like they're walking on eggshells and one tiny mistake will get them ghosted or friendzoned even if they were very clear about their intentions in the beginning.
So understand that you're only being very forward to get more comfortable showing your sexual side but ultimately you should learn to make women want you instead of focusing on showing them how much you want them.
[–]Perfect_War5446 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man great advice! Thanks!
[–]JohnnyMnec 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Following this amazing answer about courting vs seducing, it's a nice idea to mix some "not-so-positive" elements next to calling her "really cute", or whenever you're complimenting her really. The deeper idea is that there's no way you're immediately liking everything about a girl, so you show that you're not completely sold while you show your interest.
But beware - as u/hunterpua said, this comes a bit with experience. The "not-so-positive" element should not be an insult, an outright negative thing or a mean statement about something she can't really control (like physical appearance). It must be playful, light-hearted and intriguing.
[–]greenlight144000 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So how exactly do you make women want you? By flirting? What kind of flirting?
[–]hunterpua 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just regular old flirting. The problem is most guys don't actually know what flirting is and often confuse it for something else. I made a post a while back clearing that up.
[–]greenlight144000 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for that!
[–]seaweedpotential 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
i don't believe there's anything wrong with a direct opener or even a compliment about about her looks. It works well for a few of my friends. Of course if you are not her type it won't go down great, but if you're not her type, nothing you say or do is going to work anway¬!
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don’t show your intentions by complimenting her looks. You show intentions by sexualising the conversation in the middle of the conversations
Saying “You look cute” does nothing with girls, it’s generic, it’s overused, and even her mum says that to her, it doesn’t have any sexual connotation, and as such, it does nothing to show your intent. It might be fine to start the conversation but it certainly doesn’t build sexual tension which is the important thing.
However if you said after you have been talking for a while: “damn girl, your eyes are melting me right now” or “damn girl, when you smile at me like that… my heart starts beating so fast, that i might faint if you don’t stop it” or “uff girl, you are so feminine and sexy, if getting nervous”
Those things build sexual tension with the girl, and those actually do show your intentions, not the generic compliments that even her mum can say to her.
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do whatever feels right for you. I think it’s situational.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]bobyd 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
stop with the fucking spam
[–]WiseMan_Rook22 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t cold approach especially if she not dropping signals. It’s a waste of time.
[–]Perfect_War5446 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So only approach if she’s dropped choosing signals?
[–]WiseMan_Rook22 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s what I choose to do. If she scans a room and doesn’t lock in on me or doesn’t notice me I’d be wasting my time(unless she genuinely missed me while looking). If you don’t stand out to here In the long run you’ll be trying to win her love instead of her naturally liking you.
[–]THE-NUMB -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's because girls already know that they are beautiful. Moreover, they have been said it by plenty of her friends , So it sounds pretty common and shows your intentions of being friends with her. By the way you should compliment her randomly small things, she didn't even think about it (but it should make some sense)
If you don't find any other way, then you can go with it.
[–]Perfect_War5446 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So what should I say? “You seem interesting so I decided to come say hi” or maybe make a comment on what she’s wearing or something? Idk
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you say to her that she is interesting, then be prepared to answer why she looks interesting.
Knowing what to say is a thing but having the courage to actually go in front of her and tell the sentence is another thing :-)
[–]StevenConfident 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"You look really nice, so I wanted to come and say hello."
Can be understood both ways and is still a direct statement of intent, especially if you put the emphasis on "really".
But for real, you can say whatever you want. Cute, beautiful, nice, hot, it all works (just don't be crude, obviously). Most won't even remember exactly what you said anyway, they'll just remember a cool dude came up to talk to them because he liked them.
[–]texaspete3 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do not say this. It is lame AF and i am sure a million other guys that she won't fuck has said the same thing.
Life is a competition. There is only 1 version of this girl in the world and if you want her you have to set yourself apart and stand out.
Why would you approach a complete stranger to be their friend? Are you so desperate for friendship that you will seek it from anyone willing to give it to you? Sounds desperate and not desirable.
Instead think about what value you could bring to her in her life. Or so a genuine interest in something unique about her.
a better opener is " you seem like fun, i too like to have fun. I wonder what else we have in common" After you find out the 2nd thing in common with her say something clever like " oh wow, I did not expect to meet my soulmate today" .
So much about these lines is not the text but how you say them.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly, so I’m in a pickle
[–]Sure-Wish3240 -5 points-4 points-3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Never cold approach. Only approach If she has looked at you and smiled. When in doubt, keep looking at her until she notices and smile. If she smiles back, jackpot.
Beware that males never get to select or choose. A really sucessful male ia constantly on the lookout, trying to detect If any female hás looked at him ir smiled at him.
If the male starts looking and one female hoping to be noticed and smiled back, odds are all the females around will notice this behavior and act accordingly. Which in turn will reduce your chances even further
[–]Perfect_War5446 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So only approach if I get choosing signals first?
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Horrible advice lol. Like.... the worst.
Yeah, it's a good opener. You're direct, you're honest, you don't hide your dick. It's alright to compliment her on her looks, almost no one else has the balls to do it in broad daylight, which is a big plus. It would be a little different in bars and nightgame however, where you (usually) go verbally indirect, but isolate and escalate to show your intention.
Don't worry about how they'll react to it. 85-90% are going to smile and appreciate your honesty, the rest is going to be meh about it, and a very small percentage is going to take offense.
If you're just starting out, do 100 approaches and don't care too much about the results, just do it to get a feel for it. Then you'll start to see where your sticking points are. Is your body language okay? Is your voice deep and slow? Do you have strong eye contact?
Try and find a decent wing, it can really help you out in the beginning, especially if they have experience and can give you feedback.
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly I prefer indirect, direct is better for when you know you can lay her there and then (aka club game)
[–]xracer8808 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you are new to this or not confident then yes. It establishes what you are interested in as opposed to just friends.
Also have a follow up question prepared. Imagine this
You: hey you are cute so I had to say hello
Her: well hello
You uhm hi. .......
Awkward silence
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[–]Chicagoj1563 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hunterpua 14 points15 points16 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JohnnyMnec 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenlight144000 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]hunterpua 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]greenlight144000 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]seaweedpotential 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bobyd 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WiseMan_Rook22 -2 points-1 points0 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WiseMan_Rook22 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]THE-NUMB -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StevenConfident 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]texaspete3 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sure-Wish3240 -5 points-4 points-3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StevenConfident 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xracer8808 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link