Does anyone else have to get absolutely shithoused to do well at bars/clubs?

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-08-14T11:14:34+00:00

Alcohol lowers inhibition, making you more confident and willing to take risks. That can be helpful to a guy who is ordinarily paralyzed by approach anxiety.

It also makes you worse at pretty much everything, including observations. That means you don't even realize how sloppy you get. Your drunk self is only really impressive to people who are also fucked up.

In the long run, most people outgrow binge drinking so you'll need to learn how to approach sober if you ever want a partner who has her shit together.

Neo-Rio · 2022-08-14T13:17:24+00:00

Yeah but are you getting laid 10 drinks deep, or do you just feel more comfortable with yourself?

Here's the thing about getting absolutely shitfaced drunk: You might *feel* a million dollars, but everyone is looking at you like you're a drunk idiot.

Seen it and done it myself. Been talking to a girl and some guy whose completely wasted shows up and trying to cock block. He thinks he's making progress and feels great about himself, but I can see the woman's face and the reaction isn't good. Plus I can hold my own against drunk people and just moved her somewhere else.

I'd think that if getting drunk worked reliably we'd do it all the time. Truth is, it's horrendous for your liver health and makes YOU feel good (until the horrible next morning), but doesn't do anything to make the woman feel drunk with passion for you - unless she's drunk and horny as well - which is a gamble of sorts. You really don't want to have sex with drunk women anyway as they can't consent. Plus you're head is probably spinning as well and are likely to be equally sick.

The real issue men have here is this: You allow yourself to get swept up in your own emotions without focusing your attention onto the woman and getting HER swept up in her own emotions. You don't have to be drunk to do that - and in fact in order to do that your mind needs to be really sharp and undistracted from your surroundings.

hurricane4 · 2022-08-14T10:30:35+00:00

I have the same thing. It's probably mainly to do with giving less fucks when I'm drunk and less likely to remember/take personal any kind of rejection or negative signals from a girl, which will result in greater overall seductive success.

Murfdigidy · 2022-08-14T10:37:19+00:00

This is fairly common, most guys are much more comfortable and outgoing when theyve had a few. To answer your question it is a crutch and no alcohol won't make you better when talking to girls sober. Only way to improve sober is to practice sober. But start small if uncomfortable, don't need to conquer Rome in a day. The key to seduction is learning to become your best self and totally you when talking to girls. This takes practice, I equate it to working out. No one gets a six pack working out for a week, it takes months even years. The same with seduction. I used to be very nervous in front of girls, same with public speaking, but through practice, breathing, meditation i over came all that.

You will always always be nervous approaching a cute girl, the biggest difference when you get good is that you learn to accept those nerves and still be totally you and not a bumbling nervous wreck

Psuedo_Pixie · 2022-08-14T18:31:13+00:00

First off, good for you for being honest and self-reflective about your alcohol use. Many people don’t seriously start thinking about making changes until they experience negative consequences, and by then it can be very difficult to stop.

I think for you, harm reduction could be a good place to start. In other words, cut back on your drinking and see what that’s like for you. You mentioned that you are at times having more than 10 drinks a night, which I would agree is not sustainable. So next time you go out, try to halve that. Drink more slowly, have a full glass of water between drinks, etc. 3-5 drinks should still get you a place where you are far less inhibited than you might normally be.

rjones416 · 2022-08-15T06:10:21+00:00

10+ drinks is excessive...dont be a sloppy drunk.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-14T14:34:51+00:00

Lol no. You are just too full of phobias and anxieties to approach a woman like a normal guy and not some drunk loser, like 99.9999% of men out there. Work to face and overcome your fear instead of drinking yourself to an early death.

imivani · 2022-08-14T11:12:16+00:00

Drinks help but they’re a crutch.

dump_fool · 2022-08-14T14:13:35+00:00

I’ve been trying out hitting on girls at bars for the past 6-9 months or so, and I think I’ve been improving

Are you getting laid?

Does the drunk game eventually translate into better sober game or am I just using alcohol as a crutch?

If you don't get totally wasted you might learn something and be more "confident" sober but the risks are pretty bad.

Contango6969 · 2022-08-14T16:03:39+00:00

Drinking just removes the anxiety and allows you to be yourself. It doesn’t really “translate” but reveals the personality you already have. So yes you could have the same game sober if you could overcome the anxiety. Easier said than done though, pretty much every tool in dealing with anxiety like exercise, meditation, exposure therapy, etc etc are like slingshots in slaying the dragon that is anxiety. Alcohol is like a bazooka.

qkmax · 2022-08-14T19:20:49+00:00

Funny thing is when I was drinking a lot. I got laid all the time. I couldn’t get laid in a whore house with a fist full of dollars when I was sober. Just saying. Like Everyone else said, it removes anxiety and inhibitions.

Funny_Extension5610 · 2022-08-14T22:53:36+00:00

Try Xanax. Works better. Won’t be as clumsy and gross.

zisehuar · 2022-08-15T01:21:16+00:00

That's pretty funny. No, don't keep getting drunk, it's terrible for your brain. But you're on to something here. It's obviously in you - maybe you can get more comfortable other ways. Running? Meditation? Baking? Also, admittedly, the later it gets the more likely you'll approach women who had more to drink plus want to be taken home by a good guy.

Fabulous-Living1889 · 2022-08-15T03:53:48+00:00

Wind it back. Make the moves you’d do after 10 drinks at 9 drinks one weekend, then 8, 7, 6 etc. also try and make an effort to make moves earlier in the night

puma085 · 2022-08-19T07:04:13+00:00

In general drunk game is like cheating in a video game. it helps you to move forward on the short run but it does not help you to really get better with woman. It also depends what type of drunk you are.

For me drunk game is double edged sword. I am introverted person and when drunk I would say things I would never say in a sober state of me mind. Like being more open about my horny and I would outrigh tell women that i want to f**k them.

Having the will to escalate is not bad per se but not in that rather primitve way. So for me drunk game is no the best idea.

In general it always better to try to improve when you have full controll of your body and mind.

Title	Does anyone else have to get absolutely shithoused to do well at bars/clubs?
Author	Grudensgrindr4
Upvotes	21
Comments	30
Date	August 14, 2022 10:17 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wo31gb/does_anyone_else_have_to_get_absolutely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-have-to-get-absolutely-shithoused.1252080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252080

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