I am almost 40 years old and a virgin. Virginity has defined my entire life outlook. Did I miss the boat to date attractive 20 and 30 year old women?

ReorgAtty · 2022-06-20T15:58:52+00:00

These are a lot of serious issues. Def above this community’s pay grade. I personally don’t believe you’re beyond hope (it’s a big world out there), but I think you’d have to make some pretty drastic life changes. And you’d have to manage your expectations.

I think you should find a really good therapist who will work with you in building the foundation you need to make the appropriate changes.

My only concrete advice at the moment is to start working out and look for a better job. Good luck.

great_account · 2022-06-20T16:19:39+00:00

How are you 40 and have been online dating since you were 18? The internet dating thing didn't start until the last 10+ years.

Edit: and 5 days ago you were almost 30.

Troll 😑

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-20T15:30:35+00:00

In previous posts you indicated that you have resisted every single solution. So what do you want us to tell you? You invisibly see an advantage to living the way you do.

hOmIeCoUrt · 2022-06-20T16:23:14+00:00

You can't even "settle" for someone your own age lol. You're a virgin with nothing good going on.. maybe drop those standards a bit?

Why would an attractive 20 year old want to date you? Honestly, look at yourself and answer that question.

Squeeky211 · 2022-06-20T16:21:10+00:00

it sounds like you’ve got a lot of odds against you ..first thing is to stop the online addictions ..learn to introduce yourself to the opposite ex .. get out the house & clear your mind .. learn to drive and this is all for starters

epimpstyle · 2022-06-20T15:55:27+00:00

You are not human, maybe you are an alien.... who knows?

hazrat_unmad · 2022-06-20T17:01:03+00:00

I'd advise you to see a therapist first. Get the basics right first, then you can focus on women

dark_helmt8 · 2022-06-20T19:50:44+00:00

This isnt for the OP, but a warning to others reading. If you don't have your shit together by 40, then it's going to be personally devastating and very hard to recover from. There can be one or two things out of whack, but when it's everything, one's mind by that time has warped into a victim's mentality where it's almost impossible to conduct true self assessment, accept advice, not blame others, and even begin to try to make small, incremental improvements. The mind is basically used to laziness and mediocrity.

This post is probably a fake, but the warning for what it is. Don't let this guy be you.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-06-20T16:14:05+00:00

sounds fake as fuck, if you have autism it must not be that bad to write this lol. If your real get your shit together you can get a hooker for like $300 or a sugar baby lol. You can work for companies like Microsoft and make $25 a hour working online, get yourself a shitty car for $500.

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-06-20T15:41:06+00:00

Of course there is time left to do all you want. But you have to quit porn. You have to quit video games. You have to get a job.

Join a local gym and get in shape. Do it for your mind.

Hungry_Barber639 · 2022-06-20T15:55:48+00:00

Decide when you wake up the next time that you are reborn. You literally have nothing to lose. Move out and away from your parents (if they are not sick and dependant on you). If I were you I wouldn't even think about dating attractive women in their 20s. Even above average guys in their 20s (myself included) struggle with that. But you certainly can change your life significantly. The only way from the bottom is up.

iamgiantlifestyle · 2022-06-20T16:30:50+00:00

You shouldn’t be broke at 40. You don’t need college to become successful, I mean look at me I dropped out and am on track to make $400-500k this year with my business.

You need to become the best version of yourself. You can 100% date younger women, but do you have to offer?

Improve your situation and self!

2022-06-20T17:07:33+00:00

Would you mind sharing your pic in dm, I can give you some advice on appearance

2022-06-20T17:43:54+00:00

If you cant even have sex with someone in your own range why are you obsessing with women half your age, bit sus 🤔 Also lets get one thing straight, you are going to be terrible the first time at having sex, so you’re not gonna be impressing any 20 year old with your never-been-to-the-gym-40-year-old-self. Start slowly and work your way up. Usain Bolt did not run 100M in less than 10 seconds when he took his first steps, he had to level up to that, like you need to level up.

MistyMaisel · 2022-06-20T18:40:38+00:00

1st: You are 40 years old. You should not be looking at dating anyone in their 20s. The fact you include this age group is a huge red flag.

2nd: 30 Year olds are closer to realistic and not terrible behaviour, but honestly why can't they be your age? That would be far more realistic and appropriate. The fact you don't mention this possibility makes it seem like this is very much about showing off and getting an object of attraction rather than a real woman and a real relationship. I don't think your chances of doing that are very good.

3rd: You need to correct pretty much everything on this list and I think you know that. If you're willing to change this, you can probably date someone age appropriate. If you aren't, then no.

lelouch_2002 · 2022-06-20T20:06:17+00:00

40 is late no doubt but you still can fix your life for the next 5 years and get your self to gether

I think your situation now is more painful then the hardwork required to fix it just give it a 3 year hard work and you can catch up a bit on dating and cariere

Kedrith · 2022-06-20T20:43:56+00:00

I'm 39.

Similar past experience but i made lots of friends and had sex with many girls.

To be honest, girls dont care that much what kind of job you hold, what car you drives and all that crap. Yes ofc some do but they are not that common. To this day i still dont have a driving license. They just want someone decent that treat them like human beings, which is quite rare, women will tell you aswell. I meet many girls on a daily basis, but i had to work out for it. Helps that i'm attractive and smart but i have huge emotional scars that dont make me beleive in myself.

I had to work hard to combat my anxiety in order to brake out of my shell. it didnt happen suddenly, took me atleast a year after i started to have sex with pretty 25+ and regular intercourses in general.

But i tell you what, now i dont care about it anymore, it just became a compulsion to chase women. You feel like it's the only thing that gives you value, but it doesnt, it just becomes another addiction. I'm not out of woods yet but i'm starting to learn that women are not just object to give me validation but human being you want share experience with and feel more enriched by it.

My suggestion is to take baby step, you cant pretend to become a pro when you never really tried. I'm not saying dont aim up, but be reasonable with the expectation. Learn as you go along. And most importantly dont be driven by this compulsion, it will ruin you're chances and makes you even more miserable.

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-20T22:53:11+00:00

You remind me of my cousin only difference is that he just turned 34 and blames EVERYONE(including his parents) except himself.

Special_Violinist569 · 2022-06-22T13:47:19+00:00

Chris-chan??

Cavemanjoe47 · 2022-07-09T05:25:59+00:00

Quit your whiny fake bullshitting, get off your ass, and start getting your shit together. Seriously. Every 2 weeks you post some "Oh, poor me, why won't any hot 20-something girls date me?" bullshit and you've changed nothing, done nothing.

Step 1- Get a job. You don't need a car, you can ride a bicycle, walk, take the bus, etc. Factory job with almost zero social interaction will start you close to $20/hr right now, if not more, depending on your area. Start saving money. Shower. Learn your job and get better at it.

Step 2- Move the fuck out of your shitty parents' hoarder house. Yes, it's been home a long time, yes, it's comfortable and familiar, even though it's shit and you know it's shit, which is part of why you think you only deserve shit. Get your own place. The advantage is that you get to make it however you want. 'Home' will start having a different meaning to you.

Learn to drive if you want, but you don't have to if your area has transport or a lot is in walking distance. You can save up and buy driver's ed classes where they'll pick you up and teach you in a student driver car and even prep you for the driver's test. Having a car and knowing how to drive gives you options.

If you're not going to do any of this, then just shut the fuck up already. Nothing's going to change on its own. You want life to be better? You're going to need to MAKE it better. Nothing will be better 2 weeks from now if you keep doing the same bullshit. Wake up.

firelitother · 2022-07-18T23:46:37+00:00

Out of all the things that you listed, I think your addictions are the most destructive and keeping you from the life you want.

I suggest starting with that.

B3averborg · 2022-06-21T04:25:01+00:00

How are you 30, 40, and 50 at the same time?

Title	I am almost 40 years old and a virgin. Virginity has defined my entire life outlook. Did I miss the boat to date attractive 20 and 30 year old women?
Author	EndOfTheToad
Upvotes	2
Comments	59
Date	June 20, 2022 3:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vgo18g/i_am_almost_40_years_old_and_a_virgin_virginity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-almost-40-years-old-and-a-virgin-virginity.1256569 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256569

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