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Spotdown23 · 2022-06-18T06:16:45+00:00

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2022-06-18T05:31:49+00:00

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great_account · 2022-06-18T05:22:58+00:00

Splitting the bill is not a sign it disinterest.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-06-18T13:46:31+00:00

Are you engaging her emotionally? Are you letting her know, without a doubt, that you are sexually attracted to her and successfully convey these feelings to her? ...women are like Inductive Amplifiers.

what does that mean? it means that women pick up on your emotions/energy (or vibe) and if they like what they FEEL from you, will pick up on that energy and amplify it back to you.

So... if you take her to dinner and act like her goofy brother she's going to pick up on that vibe and treat you like an even bigger version of her brother!

The object of a first date is not only to determine compatibility, but to ignite the fire of attraction (the spark happened when she agreed to the date). If you are on a date telling jokes & grilling her with questions how is she supposed to FEEL any sexual attraction towards you if you don't give her any if those feelings to latch onto?

You're going to have to leave your comfort zone and express sexual interest in her. You're a noob so I would suggest you watch Empire Strikes Back when Han Solo rubs Leia's hands is like what I'm suggesting. If you watch carefully, Han does specific things. He: lowers his voice noticeably, makes direct soft eye contact, has a "knowing smirk" on his face (meaning he KNOWS he's attractive and if he keeps escalating, she's going to be putty in his hands! i.e. A massive display of inner confidence). He touches her hands and doesn't draw any other attention to it while he's doing it. Almost absent-mindedly until she calls him on it. But notice what he does when she SOFTLY says, "stop that" (it's not a true request for him to stop, but a verbal acknowledgment that he's turning her on and she doesn't quite know how to react -notice that her response is subtle, but not overt!)...and he brushes it off expertly. He gets closer to her and lowers his voice as much as he closes the distance between them. All of his movements and behavior signal "intent". He is attracted to her and he intends to kiss her. She could FEEL his intent and that caused her to FEEL the same thing towards him... but it took a few minutes for him to win her over. If she wasn't intrigued or she was truly repulsed by him she would've stopped him dead in his tracks saving them both a lot of embarrassment and wasted time. Which is why you NEVER take a woman on a dinner date the first time you go out! You don't know what she's feeling towards you so you are gambling the cost of a meal instead of honing your pickup skills. Trust me; a woman can get just as attracted to you walking a hundred yards to a Porta potty as she could if you were taking her to a mammogram. Dinner is absolutely unnecessary and cliché. Food does not equal attraction.

You need to show her that you are attracted to her and that your intent is to reach a level of intimacy with her so she can pick up on your energy (Inductive) and reciprocate it back to you (amplify).

Remember, if you act like a friend she'll treat you like a good friend. If you act like a joker she'll treat you like a comedian. If you act like a sexually interested lover she could possibly rip your clothes off and ravage you. Cause & effect.

DeliberatelyInsane · 2022-06-18T07:53:54+00:00

I'm sorry, the post is unclear. Have you explicitly asked for second dates and they refused or are you assuming there won't be a second date because they split the bill?

northwoodsgirl0717 · 2022-06-18T12:38:44+00:00

As a woman who has recently come back to dating after a long break due to being in an LTR, let me say that the current messages we women get about who is supposed to pay for what are very confusing. We get a lot of messages to the effect that we are supposed to split the bill, esp.on the first date. I have even been told that a guy will assume that you are NOT interested and just trying to get free meal if you let him pay for everything.

In an urban area, you might just be running into women who are interested but trying to be progressive. Or who are just feeling uncertain and confused about this topic ( not about you!) and are going for what they feel is the safe option.

I like the idea of the first date being something low cost and low key. Takes the pressure off in a lot of ways and you can focus on getting to know each other.

I have had guys just smile and say, "This is my treat". Usually works for me.

I notice you seem to be rather firm in your opinion that they are not interested. If you loosen up on that idea a bit you might be surprised at what you find.

Just a thought.

sweetsauce007 · 2022-06-18T13:41:46+00:00

This is so weird to hear.. here in the U.K. I’ve spoken to multiple men I’ve dated about it (I always offer to split the bill out of politeness and fairness, even if I’m really into the dude) and they’ve all said they would find it rude if a girl didn’t offer to split.

Like they’d like to pay for anyways but if I just sat there expecting for them to pay for the whole thing, they wouldn’t like it at all.

If you’re not getting 2nd dates it’s not because a girl wants you to pay the bill, it must be something else.

Lighthero34 · 2022-06-18T16:23:04+00:00

Have you asked ANY of them on second dates?

At this point you have nothing to lose, I IMPLORE you to start asking women out on second dates. Ask the ones out you've written off as not interested, and don't take them not paying as a sign they aren't interested anymore.

Maybe some of them aren't interested, but trying to read minds like this is silly.

Lunar_eclipse37 · 2022-06-18T17:35:13+00:00

Are you sure they actually want to split the bill and aren’t just trying to be nice? If I were you I’d try insisting on paying and see if that gets you a second date.

Spotdown23 · 2022-06-18T15:07:36+00:00

??? Thats a good thing dude. If you really want to pay just insist in paying and tell her you can split next time. In a positive way of course.

You’re in your own head. The fact you can get hinge dates is a clear sign you’re a goodlooking dude and have good text game. Have confidence and be assertive. Have fun and enjoy the dates. Believe in yourself.

Apprehensive-Rub-426 · 2022-06-18T15:31:59+00:00

Try learning City of Stars on piano. Their panties will automatic drop. The left hand is super easy. G, A+, D, (higher octive) G G, F, D, repeat. Super easy shit.

RashaudDawkins · 2022-06-18T21:28:30+00:00

Bro drink some drink, smoke some weed & when you see her let her know everything that comes to your mind … Ive smashed hundreds of girls you thinking about it too much , if you arent fun shes not gonna see you again .. PEACE N LOVE

joester2346 · 2022-06-18T05:11:40+00:00

Wanting to split the bill is usually a good sign

2ndwindmatt · 2022-06-18T05:55:40+00:00

The after the date "ends" is probably the most crucial part of a successful date. During the after part I try and establish a physical connection and see how she takes it. Putting the arm on her back, as I open the door for her. Holding her hand on a walk. Putting a hand on her hip as I turn to to say good bye. I always go for a hug before goodbye and hold her gaze afterwards and see what she does. If I'm feeling like she's responded to physical advances I go halfway for a kiss and make her come to me. You can have a great conversation with someone but if she doesn't feel a romantic connection, you might have just not gone on the date. From you post you don't seem like you did much after the date

Spotdown23 · 2022-06-18T04:39:21+00:00

Why do you assume splitting the bill means they’re not interested? Have you ever followed up with any of these first dates?

2022-06-18T06:20:38+00:00

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MrMarmite247 · 2022-06-18T11:24:06+00:00

Get out of your head and keep it simple stupid, don't look at your phone and make eye contact if she's touching you or messing with her hair that's a sign 😉

froze_gold · 2022-06-18T11:34:33+00:00

Are dates with you fun? What things do you talk about? Do you break the touch barrier quickly, and get them talking about themselves? Do you do anything that goes against the grain, i.e. jumping into a tree and showing off your tree climbing skills? Or be the one telling the waitress to split the bill (Totally throws them off)

It's all about the tingles

MermaidOfScandinavia · 2022-06-18T12:22:09+00:00

Dude I am sorry to say this but I get the feeling that it's your over all attitude that ruins the chance for second date. Tell us what you usually say to this woman and then I can tell you why they won't go on a second date with you.

2022-06-18T13:11:09+00:00

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2022-06-18T14:44:12+00:00

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Mammoth_Bowl1302 · 2022-06-18T16:43:14+00:00

Seems silly the idea of providing for someone when all you did was slide a piece of plastic. You did not make the pasta nor the sauce. Doesn’t seem engaging, like static movement

2022-06-18T20:03:13+00:00

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Spotdown23 · 2022-06-18T21:52:57+00:00

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Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	110
Date	June 18, 2022 4:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vey6bx/keep_striking_out_on_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1256766 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256766

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