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Smithy2232 · 2022-05-21T00:26:42+00:00

Perhaps something simple, like, 'I think we should stop seeing each other'. Sometimes direct and simple if done earnestly, respectfully, and sincerely, is the best route in these matters.

Lighthero34 · 2022-05-21T00:39:03+00:00

I've been in this situation before.

The way that I always feel about it is: they like me, but I want to have sex and they don't. That's awesome, and it's a shame our boundaries don't meet. The reason I am breaking it off: I'm not getting what I want and the last thing I'd want is for you to do something you don't actually want to do just because you think you have to in order to keep me around.

You're a very fine pick of a lemon. I'm currently in the market for mangoes.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-21T00:54:57+00:00

I’m going to offer you some advice that’s a little different then what you might want to hear. Go out with her one more time and see what happens. You might be very close to getting your hand in the cookie jar and if you quit now, it’s a total loss. If at the end of date 4 she doesn’t give you anything, tell her straight up that this isn’t working and tell her why. This might be a “good girl” worth keeping. She might be looking for a guy she can trust.

Tinal85 · 2022-05-21T00:33:08+00:00

Just say you're not feeling a connection.

sexsex69420irl · 2022-05-21T01:12:17+00:00

Hey its not working out,i hope we can be friends.

ksmith11011 · 2022-05-21T01:41:39+00:00

First of all when she realizes you’re done and starts panicking that’s a massive green flag. A lot of women would be like “WELL FORGET HIM THEN!!!!” even if they were trying to push you away and got what they wanted. This means in the future you’ll have some mechanism to fix things if she ever gets really disrespectful or starts losing interest, anything like that. It’s a must have for a long term partner and it’s somewhat rare.

I would give things a chance. Cut off all effort and fade out. If she picks up the slack and starts pursuing without going all strong independent woman on you then you’ll have a relationship. I wouldn’t read the lack of escalation as anything more than a little early phases game playing on her part. She’s probably jumping through mental hoops trying to rectify what she wants against her good girl self image. Girls like this often have an inner freaky side that they just have to break the seal on before it comes out.

invaderjif · 2022-05-21T00:35:56+00:00

Think about the last time a woman ended things with you in a respectful way, and just do that. "Hey, it's been great getting to know yoi/meet you. However I am not interested in going further. Wish you the best."

Of course, I think you should do a call rather than a text since you've been on several dates. If she pushes for why "I'm not sure. But it doesn't feel right" Or no chemistry or spark.

Some vague horseshit that comes off pleasant.

L0n3W01f_ · 2022-05-21T00:52:25+00:00

You should be in tinder

Imdatguy416 · 2022-05-21T00:42:08+00:00

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fullretard6969 · 2022-05-21T01:29:42+00:00

Did she at least kiss you?

Successful_Teach366 · 2022-05-21T01:36:58+00:00

Ask her what she’s looking for in this situation ship that you have going on and then tell her that you’re not looking for that and something in a more casual level. Nothing is forcing you to continue talking to her but find where she’s at with it so it’s clearer to her and yourself. And next time you get a date, say it in the first date that you’re looking to be causal and just wanting a good time. Dragging it to 3 dates feels like you’re conning them into sleeping with you. You’re 30 years old, be up front from the get go, women aren’t mind readers.

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-05-21T02:16:13+00:00

Just dont invite her on dates or initiate contact first anymore sure answer her if she texts first but it should slowly die on its own if you stop seeing eachother in person/ ingaging in txts

zertsetzung · 2022-05-21T02:51:35+00:00

" I'm a 30 year old dating other women whose needs match mine much more closely and i'm not investing any more time or money."

Ok so if that is the case then why is it even an issue of "breaking things off"? Theres nothing going on, you could ignore her texts from then on if you wanted and that would be sufficient.

So whats the issue? Let me guess, you want to "punish her" for not sleeping with you early on? First off, thats on you. The "not having sex before the 3rd date" rule is a load of shit, created so that women could prevent men from fucking them and then leaving. If you play your cards right you can almost always get sex on the first date with MOST women. And if you just cant, chances are she was just using you for a free meal to begin with.

If she means nothing, if you truly have other options then what difference does it make whether or not she gets taught a lesson by you cutting her off or not?

Seriously this doesnt need to be made into a mountain from a molehill. Many women out there wouldnt give men the courtesy of a "I cant see you anymore"-type text, so why do many dudes still bother with this?

Because I garantee you that if you just ghosted on her she wouldnt waste much more than maybe a week on you before having her attention and or pussy monopolized by another guy.

yennybear888 · 2022-05-21T01:27:24+00:00

This has happened to me twice before...I date a lot in NYC and bang half of them on the first date and half on the second. So when these two girls made me wait it only made me want it that much more. In both cases, I decided to give it until the fourth date, hard stop. If it didn’t happen by then I was prepared to cut my losses. They both tried to resist again on the fourth date but I made it clear that if it didn’t happen that night, I was done (not too sternly but they knew I meant business). They both gave it up and I dated them each casually for a while. Moral of the story is you have to make it clear they can’t waste your time.

2022-05-21T01:28:10+00:00

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No-Historian-6391 · 2022-05-21T02:03:47+00:00

If you won’t blow me then you can delete my number.

Vegas_Rick_1987 · 2022-05-21T02:23:05+00:00

Consider this, and this is not because there is any type of guilt being brought onto this. She could have had some bad experiences or singular, not knowing how well you know this girl after three dates and hundreds of text messages back and forth over that time.

Many women have gone through possible rape as a young adult from a date or some type of sex abuse as a child which of course opens up a whole different can of worms.

As you mentioned in one of your comments, your not in that phase. Saving this girl and being there for her if she does have traumatic experience(s) than as many others have said you and her are at different levels, time to cut your losses and move on brother.

Continue dating and possibly marriage could be some type will regret later if you take on the long haul with her.

yiggaman · 2022-05-21T01:36:25+00:00

Just ghost her

These-Calligrapher · 2022-05-21T16:35:55+00:00

Just say it isn’t working out. Be respectful and be honest. Don’t lie, don’t hurt her. The break up might hurt, but you don’t need to hurt her more. She’ll likely appreciate the honesty and respect your decision if you handle it this way. Just don’t be a douche

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	40
Date	May 21, 2022 12:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uubjaz/how_to_break_things_off_after_3_dates_no_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1259110 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259110

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